Work

1. Work Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. Proclamation, ¶ 7

2. + 0 - Perspectives on Work Sacred Duty & Blessing – United and Commune Necessary Evil – Divide and Conquer Bane of Life – Avoid at All Costs “Cursed shall be the ground for they sake.” Moses 4:23 (emphasis added) “We should never be discouraged in those daily tasks which God has ordained to the common lot of man. Each day’s labor should be undertaken in a joyous spirit and with the thought and conviction that our happiness and eternal welfare depend on doing well that which we ought to do, that which God has made it our duty to do.” Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, p. 285

3. Changing Perspective Common Thinking Higher Thinking Mindless Freeing Menial Meaningful Repetitive Ritualistic Demeaning Humbling Product Process Temporal Eternal Physical Spiritual “Family work is a link to one another, a link to the Lord, a stepping stone toward salvation that is always available. This daily work of feeding, clothing, and sheltering each other has the power to transform us spiritually as we transform others physically.” Text, p. 179

4. The Magical Mundane: Priceless Prosaics Prosaics questions whether the most important events may not be the most ordinary and everyday ones – events that we do not appreciate simply because they are so commonplace. To adapt Abe Lincoln’s saying, God must have loved the ordinary events because he made so many of them. Gary Saul MorsonProsaics: An Approach to the Humanities “[B]ecome much more aware of and alive to the many possibilities for doing good that are present in life’s daily situations. Even the moments that seem humdrum are full of possibilities. Nothing is really routine.” Elder Neal A. MaxwellThe Pathway of Discipleship, Ensign, Sept 1998 One may say that true life begins where the tiny bit begins—where what seem to us minute and infinitely small alterations take place. True life is not lived where great external changes take place – where people move about, clash, fight, and slay one another – it is lived only where these tiny, tiny, infinitesimally small changes occur.” Leo TolstoyWhy Do Men Stupefy Themselves Comical as it may sound, romance actually grows when couples are in a supermarket and the wife says, “Are we out of bleach?” and the husband says, “I don’t know. Let me go get some just in case,” instead of shrugging apathetically . . . . So in my Love Lab my favorite scenes are the very ones that any Hollywood film editor would relegate to the cutting room floor. I know there’s deep drama in the little moments. John M. Gottman & Nan SilverSeven Principles for Making Your Marriage Work

5. Historical Context Post Industrialization Changes in Family Roles • Fathers • Work separated from home and family • Connection based in less effective play interaction • Mothers • Work day lengthened (modernization increased standards, new father and child roles decreased help) • Work devalued (intellectualism valued over labor, task focus clouding importance of nurture) • Children • No work ( “shifted from economic assets to pampered consumers” Text, p 182) “It is not modern technologies and work methods themselves that are the problem. It is how we have chosen to use them…The work we are called to do in this generation is not that of our ancestors…We must move forward, aware of the potential of family work to link us to one another, yet open to how new technologies and methods can help us better bear one another’s burdens.” Text, p. 183

6. Positive Current Conditions • The Information Economy - many parents no longer performing hard labor at work, more energy for work at home • The Shift Away from the 9 to 5 Day - more flexible work schedules, flex-time, part-time becoming more acceptable; moms allowed to work without being forced to work full-time • Satellite Employees - home again the center of work, not taken physically away from family because of work • Sexual Equality - fewer things seen as "women's work" or "men's work" allowing couples to share family work and work together on a greater variety of tasks • Family-Friendly Legislation – FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act) recognizes the importance of families being freed up to work together during important family events, e.g. births and deaths • Parental Leave - improvement over "maternity leave"; recognizes father's responsibility as a parent, not just a breadwinner; allows fathers and mothers to work together from the very beginning of a child's life

7. Stay-at-home Mom Status Seen as a Privilege of the Rich - shift from "career" being seen as the ultimate choice for a woman; increasing the value placed on family work performed in the home • Increased Rarity of Good Homemaking Skills - members of the "children as pampered consumers" generations are learning fewer homemaking skills, so those who possess them are given greater respect, increasing the value placed on family work in the home • Greater Education for Women - In the year 2000: more women in college than men; BYU Graduating Class of April 2000 consisted of more women than men; woman's status in society based more on education than current career situation; those with education respected for choosing to stay at home as a result of the economic principle of opportunity cost (you could work in prestigious career but don't)

8. Getting to The Higher Way • Transcend business mentality • Understand/accept the rhythm and pace of family life • Plan home design for family living • Help children recognize and respond to needs • Start young • Motivate with other-interest v. self-interest • Share the responsibilities among all family members • Be equal partners, not just equal • Reduce father absence and maternal gatekeeping