Prevention and Partnerships… How to Play Well With Others

1. Prevention and Partnerships…How to Play Well With Others Presented by: Jill Nugin, EdM Nathaniel Nugin, EdM Army Community Service Fort Carson, CO 12 August 2009

2. Presentation Objectives • Review regulatory prevention program requirements • Tailoring programs to specific populations • Prevention Partnerships • Adapting to our changing mission • What are we doing? What is working?

3. Regulatory “Requirements” IAW AR 608-18 Ch3 Sec 1 there are various training requirements that the FAPM is required to coordinate. ACS FAP staff will provide primary and secondary prevention programs and MTF staff is responsible for tertiary prevention programs. They include: Community Education Safety Education Commander Education Spouse Abuse Prevention Troop Education Victim Advocacy Services Education for Professionals Family Life Education Parent Education and Support

4. To Stay or Not to Stay in Our “Lane”???? When thinking about “Domestic Violence” it is important to consider all of those factors that influence relationships, between couples and parents and children. Don’t get stuck in a narrow lane. It is important for the families we serve that we see a broad view of prevention.

5. Primary Prevention Programs • Stress Management • Family Wellness • PREP • Marriage Enrichment • New Parent Support Programs • Nurturing Parenting Programs • Financial Strategy Seminars • Strengthening Step Families • Infant Massage • Boot Camp for New Dads

6. Secondary Prevention Programs • Teen Mom Support Group • Anger Management • Single Parent Support • New Mom Support Group • EFMP diagnosis specific Group • Waiting Families Group

7. Tertiary Prevention These are programs and services that are available through the MTF , specifically through Family Advocacy Social Work Service. This will include assessment, intervention and treatment programs and are put in place after an allegation has been made.

8. SWS Data IPT trends Risk Reduction stats Deployment Cycle Support Leader feedback MP/civilian police reports Customer requests Needs assessments Others???? Targeting programs to meet Installation needs There are many sources that help us with identifying specific populations so that we can target our prevention efforts.

9. Targeting Efforts • Often you will be able to access historical or even anecdotal data about your installation that will lead you to the need for certain programs. • Trends after redeployment (increase in divorces) • Newly arrived units • Training densities (JRTC, NTC) • Multiple deployment casualties/injuries • Wounded Warrior surges (high risk Soldiers)

10. Targeted Approach Examples • Divorce: developed at returning unit request as they identified this as an issue. • Communicating with Children: Required per the DCS, adapted for installation. • Building Resiliency: Installation request, initially for female Soldiers, expanded for Rear Detachment Commanders and Family Readiness Group Leaders.

11. Communicating with Children“Keeping the Child in mind” Child, Youth & School Services Fort Carson, Co.

12. Building Resiliency

13. MAJ Douglas Weeks Chief, Social Work Services Evans Army Community Hospital

14. Building Resiliency Building Resiliency involves two things simultaneously, in a stressful situation…. Self Soothing Self Confronting

16. Female Soldier Resiliency • Resiliency Workshop for Female Soldiers • 30 September 2008 • 0900-0910 Introduction by Garrison Commander • 0910- 0915 CSM Kilpatrick, Garrison CSM • 0915-0920 Pat Randle, Army Community Service Director • 0920-0930 Melissa Nugin “Poetry Reading” • 0930-0940 Nathaniel Nugin, Administrative Tasks/Logistics • 0940-1105 Kirsten Holmstedt, Guest Speaker • 1105-1130 Book Signing • 1130-1230 Lunch; Chaplain Roberts • 1230-1400 Breakout Sessions, 2-40 minute sessions • * Parenting, Rita Wiley; Carriage House (50) • 1230-1310 * Finances, Fred Lewis; Cripple Creek (30) • 1315-1355 * Relationships, Battle Buddies, Jill & Nate Nugin; Pavilion (50) • * Single Soldiers, TerriAnn Naughton; Broadmoor Room (20) • * Wounded Warriors, Latoya Lucas; 3rd Floor Board Room (20) • * Panel- Sexual Assault/Sexual Harassment; 2nd Floor Board Room (20) • 1400-1430 Balance & Harmony, Wellness Center, Pavilion • 1430-1600 Pampering Session/Relaxation Stations • * Chair Massage; Pavilion • 1430-1510 * Women at the Well; Carriage House • 1515-1555 * Aromatherapy; Pavilion • *Breathing Techniques/Muscle Relaxation; Cripple Creek • 1600-1615 Closing; Chaplain Roberts & Evaluations; ACS, Pavilion

17. Prevention Programs and Partnering Partnering and Collaboration are crucial when developing prevention programs for several reasons: • Manpower: Most FAP’s are not staffed sufficiently to be able to do everything that is required. • Expertise: Most installations have a variety of folks who have expertise in areas the FAP may not. • Relationship Building: Working with other agencies builds positive relationships that benefit in other areas. • Other reasons??

18. Installation Chaplains Military Family Life Consultants MTF/Social Work Child and Youth Service/School Liaison Community Assistance Centers Local Child Welfare Community Vet Center Victim Advocates Unit Prevention Leaders SRC Staff Local Law Enforcement/MP ASAP Others?? Partnering Possibilities

19. Good Partnership Fits • Spouse Abuse Prevention/MarriageEnrichment: Chaplains, MFLC, SWS • Child Abuse Prevention: CYSS staff, Chaplains, CYSS Consultants, Local Child Welfare • Family Life Education: MFLC, SRC staff, VA Center, Financial Readiness Staff • Others??

20. Adapting to a Changing Mission The changing mission of the military has significant impact on the way Family Advocacy Program provide Prevention Programs

21. Changes • Deployment and mandated reintegration programs • Younger families, more are new to the military as turnover increases • Wounded Warrior families • Families stay at installations longer (life cycle) • Increases across the board in high risk behaviors • Media scrutiny, focus on negative behaviors i.e.., DUI, Suicide, Homicide

22. Prevention Program Possibilities • Marriage Enrichment-5 Love Languages • CARE Team Training • Boot Camp for New Dads & Nurturing Fathers • Kid’s Chat • Reintegration Training

23. Reunion Challenges forMilitary Marriages Reunion Expectations Negotiating Change Communication Techniques Handling Conflict Strengthening Commitment

24. Reunion Expectations • What kind of adjustments are necessary when you first return from deployment? • Any “standard” amount of time it takes for things to get back to normal? • Do things always get back to normal? • What advice would you have for a couple experiencing their first reunion?

25. How Do You Communicate? • What’s your style? • Your partner’s? • Withdraw or Pursue? • When do you do it the best? • When is it hardest? • What speaks louder, verbal or non-verbal?

26. Fun and Friendship • How did you meet your spouse? • Fun things you did? • Friends first? • Last time you had fun together. • OK to have some interests that are different? Examples??

27. THE Five LOVE LANGUAGES • Presenters: • Nathaniel Nugin, EdM • Jill Nugin, EdM Army Community Services Fort Carson, Colorado

28. The Five Love Languages • Your love language and that of your spouse may be as different as Chinese and English. • We may be sincere when expressing our love to each other, but that might not be enough. • We must be willing to learn our spouse’s primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love. • We must also understand our own primary love language.

29. Love Languages • Basically five emotional love languages • Each has numerous dialects • Each person develops a primary LL based on unique psychological makeup and how love was expressed to them • Most important to speak the love language of your spouse

30. The Five Love Languages • Words of Affirmation • Quality Time • Receiving of Gifts • Acts of Service • Physical Touch

31. CARE TEAMTRAINING “When you allow your friend to talk about the one who died, you are a healer.”

32. Why Be A CARE Team Member?? • What is my motivation to do this? • What are my strengths? • How will I care for myself? • How will this job affect my family, my children? • Will this increase my own stress about my spouse? • What are my support systems?

33. Boot Camp for New Dads • Program began at Fort Carson in Feb 2000. • Taught for Dads, by Dads (in our case our male troop educator). • Meets at lunch time, first 3 Wed of each month. • Session on How Dads learn to be fathers, caring for Mom, caring for Baby. • Is often a CRC recommendation for a dad with a child abuse/neglect allegation.

34. Boot Camp adaptation When a large unit returns from deployment, there is often a request for a unit specific Boot Camp for all Soldiers who have become fathers during the deployment. Done in one session, at the unit.

35. Kid’s Chat • Kids Chat was developed at Fort Carson in response to concerns that the children of Soldiers needed an opportunity to share how they were feeling about deployments. There had been an increase in MP reports concerning teens and CYS was reporting an increase in negative behaviors in the classrooms. FRG leaders and Rear D Commanders asked ACS/FAP to address these concerns…….and Kids Chat was born.

36. What Kid’s Chat looks like • Children are divided in to 3 age groups, 5-8, 9-12 and 13 and up. Each group is facilitated by 2 or more staff. • Each group has specific curriculum, and it can include games, crafts, stories and discussion • While the kids meet, parents are invited to participate in a discussion group about their concerns, facilitated by FAP. • After 90 minutes, the groups meet for refreshments (unit provided) and parents get feedback, as appropriate. • Kid’s Chat can be done before deployment, during or getting ready for reunion.

37. “…a man’s got to know his limitations”

38. ACS Mob & Dep ACS FAP Coordinator DV Trainer Financial Readiness Sexual Assault Trainer New Parent Support CYSS ASAP Vet Center DVBIC UMT JAG Preventive Med Unit Rear Det FRSA’s Volunteers Soldiers and Families Ed Svcs ACAP BOSS DFMWR A Network of Partners

39. DAY-1 Positive Outlets Education Services DMWR ACAP Communication w/Spouse Single Soldiers Divorcing w/Children Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) Soldier Battlemind I Breakout Groups Spouse Battlemind DAY-2 Money Matters ASAP Medical Threat Legal Domestic Violence Prevention Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Suicide Prevention FT. CARSON ACS REINTEGRATION UNIVERSITY

40. Breaking it down… Day One • Positive Outlets- Ed Center, DFMWR, ACAP • Communicate w/Spouse- FAP Coordinator • Communicate (Single Soldiers)- FAP / Vet Center • Communicate (Divorce)- MFLC • Communicate w/Children- CYSS • TBI- DVBIC • Spouse Battlemind- Mob/Dep • Soldier Battlemind- UMT • Battlemind Breakout Groups- Vet Center/MFLC

41. …and More Day 2 • Domestic Violence- FAP Trainer • ASAP- Ed Coordinator • Medical Threat- Preventive Medicine • Legal- JAG • Money Matter- Financial Readiness Program • Sexual Assault- Trainer • Suicide Prevention- UMT

42. Prevention Wrap-Up • Be creative…most things that you develop for families are prevention. • Use all of the installation and community resources that you can! • CASE……copy and steal everything (with permission of course!) • Have fun with prevention!

43. Questions? Jill Nugin (719) 526-0445 DSN 691-0445 Jill.Nugin@us.army.mil Nathaniel Nugin (719) 526-4590 DSN 691-4590 Nathaniel.Nugin@us.army.mil