“I’m SO Angry!”

1. Conflict Management slides 2-14Resolution Strategies slide 15Bullying slides 16-18Communication/NegotiationRefusal Skills Slides 19-20Peer Pressure slides 21-25 Decision Making slides 26-29

2. “I’m SO Angry!”

3. “What are we so mad about anyway? (examples) • Which movie to go see • Cut off in traffic • Someone spreading rumors • ‘Stay at home mom’ or a career • How late you can stay at a party • Spending money • How and where to spend your time • Parents disagree with clothes/ hairstyle • Can’t go to a school event because it falls on a religious holiday • You were excluded from a group

4. What is Conflict • Conflict: a disagreement between people with opposing view points, ideas, or goals. • Conflicts can be an exchange of words • Group confrontations can be ongoing • Conflicts that involve weapons can be serious Some conflicts are with YOURSELF!

5. What Causes Conflict?3 major reasons 1. Resources: something usable, such as goods, property, money or time. Examples??? Couples who fight over finances, whichrestaurant, flu shot dispensed, study or go to the mallwith your mom, fighting over the computer… 2. Values: your beliefs and ideas that you consider important Examples??? Browns fan, daily PE class, politics, 3. Emotional Needs: the need to belong and feel respected and worthwhile examples??? Left out, disrespected, put down, feel it’s unfair didn't make the science Olympiad, sports team etc…

6. Activity • Think of a conflict you’ve had recently and briefly describe. • Answer the following questions in your notes. • 1.What was it about? • 2. What caused it? (Resources, Values, Emotional) • 3. Was it resolved? Explain. If not what are some ways it can be resolved?

7. Managing my Anger/Conflict • Release frustrations of life. • Calls Attention to Problems • Helps us understand self and other’s values • Increases motivation to take action • Brings about change • Healthier relationships • Anger can build and boil over • Can lead to violence • Irrational thinking • Not pleasant to be around • Lead to depression (esp.boys) If I learn to manage my anger then… If I don’t and conflicts get out of hand then…

8. Positive Ways to Manage Anger

9. COOL OFF– Calm Down • Take a time out to cool down

10. Attack the Problem not the person No name calling or put downs

11. Brainstorm reasonable ways to handle the situation • Make a list • Find a middle ground • Find a creative solution

12. “I Feel…” • Explain how his or actions make you feel

13. Learn the the other person’s point of view “hmmm how would I feel” Ask Questions

14. Ask for Help • If you cannot resolve problem yourself.

15. Effective Conflict Management or Resolution Strategies • Take a time out • to calm down and think through my anger. • Allow each person to tell his or her side • then paraphrase the other persons position. • Let each person ask questions • in order to view the issue from the others point of view. • Keep brainstorming solutions • either to find the middle ground or creative solution

16. Conflict vs. Bullying • Conflict is a normal part of most relationships because people have different perspectives and priorities. Conflict is inevitable. • People can also be hurtful to each other because of thoughtlessness, annoyance, poor boundaries, and experimenting with negative uses of their power without realizing the impact.

17. Conflict vs. Bullying • Learning how to take charge of your own emotional and physical safety, how to act safely and respectfully towards others even if you feel frustrated or upset, how to set boundaries and respect the boundaries of others.

18. Cyber Bullying Steps to reduce cyber bullying • Do not respond or reply electronically • Save the evidence • Tell a trusted adult • Report the issue to the cite

19. Communication Skills • Communication- The exchange of thoughts, feelings, beliefs and wants between two or more people. • Communication is important because… • It can start and make relationships strong • Helps people grow closer • Vital in many areas of life ( work place, marriages)

20. Communication Skills Verbal • Tone of voice • Express feelings through words Non-Verbal • Body Language • Eye Contact • Posture • Facial Expressions • Gestures Mixed Messages: Occur when your words say one thing but your body language says another.

21. Refusal and Negotiation Skills • Say no in a firm voice • Tell why not • Offer other ideas • Promptly leave

22. Peer Pressure • Pressure is the feeling that you are being pushed toward making a certain choice. A good or bad choice. • A peer is someone in your own age group. • Peer pressure is—you guessed it—the feeling that someone your own age is pushing you toward making a certain choice, good or bad.

23. Positive vs. Negative Peer Pressure Positive • Pressure of getting into college • Pressure to get to school on time • Pressure to make a team/club • Pressure to follow the rules • Pressure to respect others Negative • Underage drinking • Underage smoking • Stealing • Fighting • Bullying

24. What’s so difficult about avoiding peer pressure? Reasons we give in… • want to be accepted and liked by people their own age • are afraid of being rejected by others • want to be liked and don’t want to lose a friend • want to appear grown up • don’t want to be made fun of • don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings • aren’t sure of what they really want • don’t know how to get out of the situation

25. How do Peers… Pressure? • Insults: making a person feel bad for not doing something, so that they eventually will • Reasoning: pressure by giving a person reasons why they should do something • Rejection: pressure by threatening to end a relationship or a friendship

26. Spoken vs. Unspoken Pressure • Sometimes a friend or peer can say something directly to you, that puts a lot of pressure on you and makes it hard to say no. This is an example of SPOKEN pressure. • You might think you are supposed to dress or act in a certain way because it seems like everyone else is doing it, or because it’s the “cool” thing to do. When you feel this way- even though nobody has said anything to you this is UNSPOKEN pressure.

27. Decision Making • Decision making is the process of choosing what to do by considering the possible consequences of different choices. • Making a decision is not something you do from habit — it requires conscious thought. • Successful decision-making means making a choice that has enough of the important satisfactions (good) in it to outweigh the less important dissatisfactions (bad).

28. Decision Making Skills 1. Identify the Problem • (Identify, ask yourself questions, what choices do you need to make and who else if anyone is involved) • What are the choices • (List everything, ask for suggestions and make sure they are safe.) • Gather Information • (what’s helpful to know before making a decision) • Consider outcomes and values • (honesty, respect and trust) Consequences of each options Healthful Ethical Legal and Parent approval) • Make a decision and act • (Ready to take action, choose a course that supports your values, the impact of all choices on self and others and ask a trusted adult if unsure.) • Evaluate your decision • (Reach expectations, how did it affect others, how you feel about yourself and what could you do differently)

29. Decision Making… • In everyday life we often have to make decisions fast, without enough time to systematically go through the previous actions and thinking steps. In such situations the most effective decision making strategy is to keep an eye on your goals and then let your intuition suggest the right choice.

30. Case Studies Activity Materials: 1 Case studies worksheet (front/back) 1 Making Decision: Case Studies Directions: Read through all 4 situations on the Making Decision: Case studies paper. Choose 2 of the situations and complete the Case Studies Worksheet. Use the one side for the first situation, and the reverse side for the following situation. ** OPTION- You may also choose 1 situation from the paper, and than make up your own situation or use a situation you are currently going through, or recently went through for the reverse side of the paper. DUE Dates: 4th,5th and 6th -10/24 7th, and 8th- 10/25