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The Revision Process

The Revision Process . I will vary sentence structure and length to enhance meaning, clarity, and fluency. (2f) I will show this by rewriting sentences and changing words from my draft.

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The Revision Process

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  1. The Revision Process I will vary sentence structure and length to enhance meaning, clarity, and fluency. (2f) I will show this by rewriting sentences and changing words from my draft.

  2. Warm Up: Read my new narrative about my weekend. Write down what you notice about my sentence length and variety. Give an example from the paragraph. I will vary sentence structure and length to enhance meaning, clarity, and fluency. (2f) I will show this by rewriting sentences and changing words from my draft.

  3. I went home after school. I ate dinner. Next, I watched television. I had dessert. I went to bed. On Saturday, I made breakfast. Then I drove to Boulder. I met a friend. We watched the MSU football game. We ate lunch. I went home to read a book. I graded papers. I went to bed. Sunday was fun. I got coffee. I read a magazine. I watched football. My mom called in the afternoon. After dinner, I went for a walk. Then I went to bed.

  4. Whip Around: Give your thoughts AND immediate reactions. Are they your favorite sentences you’ve ever seen? Why or why not? I will vary sentence structure and length to enhance meaning, clarity, and fluency. (2f) I will show this by rewriting sentences and changing words from my draft.

  5. I went home after school. I ate dinner. Next, I watched television. I had dessert. I went to bed. On Saturday, I made breakfast. Then I drove to Boulder. I met a friend. We watched the MSU football game. We ate lunch. I went home to read a book. I graded papers. I went to bed. Sunday was fun. I got coffee. I read a magazine. I watched football. My mom called in the afternoon. After dinner, I went for a walk. Then I went to bed.

  6. I went home after school. I ate dinner and watched television. I had dessert. I went to bed. On Saturday, I made breakfast. Then I drove to Boulder. I met a friend. We watched the football game. We ate lunch. I went home and read a book. I graded papers. I went to bed. Sunday was fun. I got coffee and read a magazine. I watched football. My mom called in the afternoon. After dinner, I went for a walk. Then I went to bed. WOW. THIS IS BORING!

  7. PART OF IT HAS TO DO WITH STRUCTURE. ALL HER SENTENCES ARE SIMPLE. SIMPLE SENTENCES HAVE ONLY1 SUBJECT AND 1 PREDICATE

  8. SUBJECT: THE NOUN IN THE SENTENCE THAT IS DOING OR BEING SOMETHING EX: THE DOG RAN THE MAN WAS ANGRY THE STUDENT WENT HOME

  9. PREDICATE: THE VERB WHICH WAS DESCRIBES WHAT THE SUBJECT IS DOING OR BEING EX: THE DOG RAN THE MAN WAS ANGRY THE STUDENT WENT HOME

  10. NOW, LET’S REALLY LOOK ATHARKNESS’S PARAGRAPH. ALLHER SENTENCES ARE SIMPLE. WHAT!?! YEP, IT’S TRUE. ALL HER SIMPLE SENTENCES HAVE ONLY1 SUBJECT AND 1 PREDICATE.

  11. I went home after school. I ate dinner. Next, I watched television. I had dessert. I went to bed. On Saturday, I made breakfast. Then I drove to Boulder. I met a friend. We watched the MSU football game. We ate lunch. I went home to read a book. I graded papers. I went to bed. Sunday was fun. I gotcoffee. I read a magazine. My mom called in the afternoon. After dinner, I went for a walk. Then I went to bed.

  12. So this is what you need to know -- I will vary sentence structure and length to enhance meaning, clarity, and fluency. How? One way to do this is by combiningsimple sentences to form compound sentences. Join 2 simple sentences with a conjunction {FOR, AND, NOR, BUT, OR, YET, SO}. FANBOYS!!!

  13. FIRST, TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR SENTENCE STRUCTURE-- READ YOUR EXPOSITION PARAGRAPH AND LABEL ALL OF YOUR SUBJECTS AND PREDICATES REMINDER: (S) SUBJECT: WHO IS DOING OR BEING SOMETHING? (P) PREDICATE: WHAT IS SUBJECT DOING OR BEING?

  14. Iwent home after school. I ate dinner. S P S P TAKE 10 MINUTES AND LABEL YOUR ENTIRE EXPOSITION PARAGRAPH.

  15. Iwent home after school. I ate dinner. S P S P I WENT home after school, AND I ATE dinner.

  16. NOW READ THE FIRST 2 SENTENCES OF YOUR EXPOSITION PARAGRAPH. TRY TO COMBINE THEM INTO ONE COMPOUND SENTENCE. HAVING TROUBLE? ASK YOUR NEIGHBOR FOR HELP AND SEE IF YOU CAN FIND A WAY.

  17. INCREASE THE SENTENCE VARIETY OF YOUR PARAGRAPH BY COMBINING 6 MORE SENTENCES INTO 3 COMPLEX ONES. WRITE THE NEW ONE BELOW YOUR FIRST DRAFT. YOUR NEW VERSION OF THIS PARAGRAPH WON’T HAVE ENOUGH SENTENCES?? DON’T WORRY, WE’LL FIND A WAY TO ADD MORE NEXT TIME.

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