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How To Go From Relationships to Referrals. "Don't wait for a life changing event to change your life" (unless this meeting is your life changing event). Begin With The End In Mind.

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How To Go From Relationships to Referrals

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how to go from relationships to referrals

How To Go From Relationships to Referrals

"Don't wait for a life changing event to change your life" (unless this meeting is your life changing event)

begin with the end in mind

Begin With The End In Mind

If there were only 12 words on your tombstone what would you want them to be, who would you want at your funeral, what would you want them to say about you?...

What you want said at your funeral has everything to do with how you do business today.

Your business should be a vehicle  for helping you live and leave a legacy.

You really need to dig deep and know what your “Why” is.

where should we spend our time money
Where Should We Spend Our Time & Money

We should NOT spend it on cold calling, door knocking, and advertising. This is trying to attract and close people we have never met.

We can spend our time, energy, effort, and money on people we actually know, like, and trust.

Think about who you sold in the last 6 months.

The number of your relationships not the size of you advertising budget will determine your future.

The more you give, the more you get as your relationships turn into referrals. If your goal is to get 50 referrals over the next 12 months then you need to give out 100 referrals. You need to start connecting people in your database to each other.

It is not about who you know. It is about who you know, how well you know them, and who THEY know.

the math 150 9 000

Assume 150 people in your database

NAR estimates that the average person moves once every 5 years so that means one fifth or 30 people will be moving each year (if they sell and buy that is 60 transactions!). If you did 30 transactions last year you would be in the top 10% of all real estate agents nationwide.

Now let’s say each person you know also knows 150 people. 150 X 150=22,500 in your community.

So if 22,500 and 20% of them are moving each year then 4,500 people in your community are moving and that equals 9,000 potential transactions.

The Math 150=9,000

will you attend
Will You Attend?

Huge Ad in the paper

Jumbo Post Card

Email Invitation

Hand Written Invitation

Personal phone call from him

He shows up at your office in person

So now you see why no one responds to the billboard, bus benches, or huge ads. You wouldn't respond to that and neither will they.


As go up the pyramid the more impact you have on the other person and the relationship grows stronger.

The lower 3 levels are the informational zone, best used for informing or updating.

The upper 3 levels are the influential zone if you are looking to influence, convince, or sell do it with Phone Calls, Events and Seminars, or One on One Meetings.

handwritten notes

7 Steps To a Power Note

Use unbranded cards with a symbol or monogram that represents you. It's a personal note. No card with company logo...

Use blue ink. It looks original and positive.

Words-Use you, but avoid, I, me, my.

Be specific in your praise.  Identify and acknowledge a characteristic, a talent, a unique quality.

Leverage the power of positive projection.  Identify a personal characteristic you want to improve and express respect for others who possess that quality. (Happiness, wealth, balance, ect..)

Write rightly-Slope text slightly upward from left to right. Read the book-Your handwriting can change your life by Vimala Rodgers.

The power of the P.S. Use a P.S. as a call to action. Ask the recipient to take action such as e-mailing or calling.

Write these notes to everybody you know, pick up a business card, look in your email, look in your database. Find a person identify a positive characteristic to acknowledge and write the note. Write at least 50 with a compelling P.S. this week and your phone will ring.

Handwritten Notes

phone calls

Call reluctance if you are reluctant you are being selfish and thinking about yourself. If you think about their needs and helping them it is easy to pick up the phone.

1st and 10 calls. You do these as soon as you get to the office each day. -people showing houses to that week, referral sources, cooperating los/agents, recent networking contacts, team members potential clients and so on.  

Why are you calling? Go into call with heart to help, they may need a recommendation for a vendor, job recommendation, or whatever. Take time after the call to send them what they need. When calling forget about thinking of how this person can help grow your business. If the conversation goes there great, but your objective is to assign yourself at least one action item when it over just like your one on ones. Focus your attention on finding something you can do for them by the end of the call.

Hour of Power: At least 4 hours per week for focused phone calls to people in your database-those you have worked with in the past, networking contacts, friends, family, anybody you don't have to call, but should (does not include returning calls).

Get Better: Rank your self after each call 0 to 10. 0 hung up on you to 10 like reconnecting with your best friend. You want people to see your number and be excited to answer the phone.

Phone Calls

the great retrace

Communicating with every person of a strand of referral sources.

For Example: Joe refers Jeff who introduced you to Cindy who recommended you to Janet. You would call Cindy with an update on Janet. Then you would call Jeff to express appreciation for connecting you to Cindy. Then you would call Joe to let him know what has happened. There is enormous power to this subtle strategy.

These are calls you can make in your hour of power.

The Great Retrace

events meetings

Attending a seminar or live event with someone.

Attending a networking event.

This is how you get ready for a networking event:

Check out the website to find who is in charge of membership so you can call them.  Ask chairperson 2 questions. If introductions will be formal or informal and the names of the top 3 or 4 people you should meet (the most influential people). Ask if she or he will introduce you to them at the event.

Google those folks so you know what to say to them.

At the event  go with the spirit of helpfulness. People can smell a taker a mile away. Get there 30 minutes early. Wear your name badge on right side so when you shake hands it is thrust forward and easy to read. Introduce yourself to the meeting organizer and remind what they promised you. If they get busy don't pester just remind and say real politely you had mentioned I should meet so and so.

Use FROG-acronym to help you focus on the other person and what kind of questions to ask. Ask about Family, Recreation, Occupation, and Goals.(what are you known for)

Have an elevator speech for when they ask what you do? (consultant, negotiate, manage fears)

Follow up strategy power notes to everyone you meet

Events & Meetings

1 on 1 meetings

Most important hours of your week you need to prepare for them.

DO internet research on people before you meet them.

Once you're there remember FROG-about them not you.

Ask what are their biggest challenges? You're there to help so you need to know what they need.

Match their natural pace of conversation-if not a fast talker than slow down.

End your one on one meetings with one or both of these questions. How can I help you and what can I do for you? So your action item is to leave every one on one with an assignment that you will get done by the end of that day.

And a POWER NOTE to follow up.

Take a gift to the meetings- A relevant book or maybe a download version as it will be cheaper

Create a Networking Stack: Make a restaurant your home territory. Become a regular. Tip well 25%. Get to know the staff. Treat them like VIPS. Ask them about their kids, jobs, and hobbies. Use FROG Before you know it like Cheers where everybody knows your name. Then stack your appointments-have networking lunch, and then networking meetings at the same restaurant. Also strategically stack as they meet coming and going. Schedule people next to somebody who could help their business.

1 On 1 Meetings

3 most r eferral g enerating questions

What is your biggest challenge right now? Do not guess how you can help the person. Do not assume.

So what have you tried so far? Do not want to suggest what they already tried. Maybe tweak what they did or add to it and help them.

So what are you going to do next? (I’m not the expert you are showing respect the answer is deep down inside them.) I do not know. So have a conversation about what they are going to do next. Or they may self discover the answer themselves and talked their way through it. They solve it on their own because you are there they think you solved and tell others how great you are.

They will reciprocate. How can I help you. Tell them I can move anyone from anywhere. Who do you know who is looking to move? Give them specific clients or things they can help you with.

3 Most Referral Generating Questions

a successful success story
A Successful Success Story

When was the last time you made something good happen for a client?

Homework write 12 success stories

The Seven Steps to a Successful Success Story

What was the clients name and situation? (Be specific about the problem or challenge) For example Josh and Jill were first time home buyers.

What would have happened if you weren't involved? (What is the worse possible thing that could have happened? Josh and Jill could have bought the first home they saw(backed to a highway).

How did you help them solve the problem? Educated them on what makes a good investment.

What was the result? Be Specific. They Bought a great home that is a great investment. On cul de sac, desirable floor plan, and neighborhood that has a good history of appreciation.

What did the client say or do to let you know you did well?  Include their testimonial or that they referred me to Chris Hills another first time home buyer.

Ask if you can use their picture in the success story as it makes it more powerful

You will use these success stories in your marketing and follow up plan

the f bomb
The F Bomb

The F word is:


The F bomb is a system you will create for follow up on your one on one meetings. 7 Week series of power notes, direct mail pieces, emails and phone calls. At least four of your follow up touches need to be phone calls. Use your CRM calendar to schedule these tasks to take place. Ideally delegate the other pieces of the follow up.

You can use your success stories for the direct mail pieces  and emails.

google alerts
Google Alerts

Google Alerts is a great product from Google that allows you to enter keywords to be notified when Google finds something on the web (news, blogs, etc.) that mention the keywords you entered.

For Your Top Clients and Referral Sources:

Set Google Alert for their name: Remember the days when you would read the paper, see a friend or client’s name, clip the article, and send it in a note? Those days aren’t gone – that is still a great idea – but Google Alerts are the technological equivalent to this practice. Set up a Google Alert for your clients, verify the article includes your client, copy and paste the URL into an e-mail, and send it over with a few words.

Set Google Alert for their hobbies or passions:Another idea for top referral sources is to find out what they are interested in and send them relevant articles about that topic.

the blessing book

Each morning write 5 things you are grateful for. Examples: health, family, friends, work…

Each Morning you write some positive affirmations.

Here is one affirmation you must write every day. It is called the Rainmakers Affirmation.

"Each and every day someone, somewhere in my city, needs my services. My job TODAY is to find that  person."

Have this where you can read it in the morning, at your desk, and in your car (not while the car is moving ) Internalize this and you will think like a top producer.

I also suggest carrying a gratitude rock.

Create a sense of urgency. Repeat: “Do It Now” to yourself 49 times 3 times daily. This exercise will build your sense of urgency.

The Blessing Book

your time
Your Time

Vision Exercise: Imagine your perfect work day and write it out from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed. Break it down hour by hour and describe exactly what you're doing on your perfect workday.

80% of your time needs to be in influential zone on the phone or in front of people. Only way to achieve this is to time block your day on an hourly basis. Like school: math 1st hour.... in this case 3 courses take 80 % of your day.

Schedule times to return phone calls and emails first. 11am and 4pm as an example. Next an hour of white space=open time. (catch up on paperwork, take a walk, return extra calls, grab a coffee. At least 4 hours per week for focused phone calls to people in your database-those you have worked with in the past, networking contacts, friends, family, anybody you don't have to call, but should (does not include returning calls). Called your hour of power.

1st and 10 calls. You do these as soon as you get to the office each day. People you are showing houses to that week, referral sources, cooperating los/agents, recent networking contacts, team members potential clients and so on.  You write the names, numbers, and reasons for your 1st and 10 calls during your pre-leave ritual.

Entire presentation on this but get an assistant and delegate!

the four rituals
The Four Rituals

These will prevent your life from getting out of control no matter how busy you get.

Morning Ritual:  Affirmations, Blessing Book, Personal Preparation, and exercise. (morning run, lift weights, tapes)

Pre-leave Ritual-Get your desk in order, write down your 1st and 10 calls, and check your time blocking for the next day.

Pre-sleep ritual-Reading, visualization, pray, stretch.

Sunday Night Ritual-take a look at the entire week's schedule. Make sure all of your appointments are in order. Make sure clothes fit the weather and arrange them in the closet right down to the socks.

from marketer to communicator
From Marketer To Communicator

You market TO someone but you communicate WITH your client's.  You are going to build your community by communication. Your Community of Influence is your database. Trying to build a community by staying in the influential zone.

Never forget it is people who buy and nothing happens until a person says yes and no one says yes to someone they do not trust.

You need to go through your database and grade your database.

A+ Ambassadors-they refer you multiple times a year they are unpaid sales staff.

A's are Champions they refer you on average once a year.

B’s are your potential champions

C's are friends and family like them but they do not send you business

D's have never sent you business, nor are they going to.

D means delete if D want them GONE

Need help creating or expanding your database:

communication plan
Communication Plan

Need to develop a communication plan for each grade in your database.

Ambassadors deserve the most communication. Call once a month during hour of power and quarterly into his networking stack at restaurant. Eventually board of advisors meeting with all ambassadors and ask them how he can improve his service and his business.

Champion 4 times a year. Use recurring reminders in CRM

B’s-send them the guaranteed response email  or GRE. SUBJECT: Hey <first name> have a few quick specific questions for you... BODY Hope all is well. Wanted to touch base. I have a couple of specific questions for you. Could you please call me at your earliest free moment at <your phone number>? It's not an emergency, but when you have a second, please give me a call. I promise to only take a minute or two of your time. Thank you in advance. Talk to you soon! P.S If somebody else answers, please let them know that I need to to talk to you. Thank you.

This email will cause them to give you a call. When they call you are going to ask how they are doing, what's new in their lives. then you are going to use the Am I the Chosen One script. After that conversation you will know if they are an A, C, or even a D

By the time done have no more B’s in database either be champions who promise to refer you, friends and family who you choose to stay in touch with or they will be deleted because they have an established relationship with another professional in your industry.

Send guaranteed response email to 20 B’s at a time to prevent getting overwhelmed

relationship to referral

For someone to buy from you they have to trust you. Trust comes from communication. 7 levels is about maximizing your communication to increase trust. The more people trust you the more they buy from you. the faster they trust you the faster they buy from you. Once you establish relationship to where you are an 8 ranking or above on the phone than you are approaching the referral zone. You have had a couple of conversations and helped them out in a couple of ways. Now its time to have a referral conversation.

Power of Words-Never say referral instead say introduce me to those they love and trust neighbors, friends, family members and co workers or to be connected to influencers and other connectors.

A referral is an emotionally charged endorsement to put their reputation on the line for you. Easier for someone to introduce you then refer you.

Birds of a feather flock together. people buying or selling with a neighborhood know others interested in doing the same thing.

Birds of a Feather script:

Example client buying moved from renting a townhome.   ”It has been great working with you, who is another renter or first time home buyer like you who is looking to buy a home soon? The more specific the better.”

Relationship To Referral

relationship to referral1

Great People Script:

Hi _____ I know how important your time is these days. I'm looking to grow my business and I want to grow my business with great people like you. Something I've found is that great people tend to know great people. SO with that in mind, out of all the people you know; who is the next person you know who will be buying selling or investing in real estate? (practice make it more natural)

After you ask give them time to answer. Don't be afraid of silence in conversation.  Let silence help you. So many people get uncomfortable and feel compelled to say something. Don't do it.

The Reticular Activating System or RAS Script:

Example someone who buys a specific car all of a sudden notices all of those cars on the road.Particular part of your brain. The Reticular Activating System or RAS. Controls what you focus on.

In real estate say this:  ”Mr. and Mrs. Client now that you are buying a house you have supersonic hearing and x ray vision for real estate. You're going to notice that dozens of people around you are buying, selling, or investing. I ask you that when you see, hear, or meet a person who mentions real estate; that you give them my card and give me a call. My promise to you is that I will respond quickly to determine how I can help them. Would you do that for me please?

Ask for SPECIFIC and RELEVANT referrals Example:

Who is a person you know buying their first home-could be a renter or even a son or daughter or someone you know?

Call to Action. Use a sentence like. Please reply to this email with the name and their situation. I promise they'll get the excellent service they deserve.

Relationship To Referral

the magic question

How would your best friend/spouse describe you: 1) straight to the point, 2) social and outgoing 3) steady and dependable 4) cautious and perfectly accurate? If you had to choose just one what would it be.

Put that magic question on your intake forms and next to your phone. Important to know the behavioral style of your client. DISC.

D stands for Dominance-Straight to the point. Driven, Fast paced, impatient, efficient, and brutally honest. They aren't into long explanations. They want the bottom line.

I stands for influence, and i's love socializing. They are often outgoing, friendly, emotional, and energetic. They are the life of the party.

S is Steadiness-An Si steady and dependable. S's nurture. They live to serve and please others. They prefer predictability and security over spontaneity and excitement. They enjoy executing systems.

C is for Compliance-C's are perfectionists who expect everyone to comply with the rules. These guys create order and process. They can seem almost inflexible. This is the person who tells you it is more important to do it right than to do it fast.

Buying process of a home or selling of a home brings out everyone inner C. The bigger the purchase the more attention to the details. In life 3 things you should never mess with a person about his family, his home, and his money. In our profession we mess with all 3. People are going to want specifics, details, and facts.

Some times as an agent it is easy to wonder what people are getting so worked up about. But its the largest amount of money most of them will ever spend.

The Golden Rule is to treat others as you would wnat to be treated. Forget that. Instead The Platinum Rule-Treat others the way THEY want to be treated, even if its not what you would want yourself. Sell the way the buyer buys.

The Magic Question

do it now
Do It Now!

Get the book:

Start Implementing the concepts immediately!

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