American Society's Expansion and Ideals: Closer or Further?

1. Core 2 Ideals Essay PLEASE LOG ON TO A LAP TOP RIGHT AWAY!

2. Introduction and Claim  Your Grabber should not be a question  See example in purple  Give background information about the Expansion of Society.  Specific content (see example in blue)  Think about who, what, where, when, and why  Paragraph Content should match claim:  Don’t say lots of good things and then have your claim be further from!  See example in orange  Claim should be the last sentence in your introduction paragraph.  See example in red

3. Example Introduction Paragraph  The expansion of American society brought about many changes for America. During this time period, many people moved west towards the Pacific Ocean. After the Louisiana Purchase and discovery of gold in California, thousands of Americans jumped at new opportunities. People of all races, genders, and backgrounds took the journey west. While many went westward for new opportunities, some were denied such privileges. The expansion of American society brought our country further from the ideals of liberty and equality.

4. Body paragraphs  Topic sentence  Identify closer or further (See example in red)  Identify the ideal (See example in green)  Identify the event (See example in blue)  Include specific content!!!  Explain connection to Ideal  Be very clear about the connection

5. Example Body Paragraph  The expansion of American Society brought America closer to the founding ideal of opportunity with the California Gold Rush. In 1848, gold was discovered on the American River 50 miles north of Sacramento in California. This led to the 1849 California Gold Rush. The California Gold Rush presented an opportunity for many people. Chinese immigrants, for example, could start a new life. Many settlers came in the hopes of finding gold. Americans were being given new opportunities and many could start their lives over. The California Gold Rush which occurred during the expansion of American Society brought our country closer to the founding ideal of opportunity.

6. Counter Argument  First sentence:  Some people would say the expansion of American Society brought our country___________ the founding ideal of _________ because of ___________.  Explain both the content and its connection to the ideal  Content in blue  Ideal connection in green  Acknowledge counter argument and explain why YOUR argument is more correct.  See example in purple

7. Example Counter Argument  Some people would say the expansion of American society brought our country closer to the founding ideal of rights because of the Declaration of Sentiments. By creating the Declaration of Sentiments, women were demanding their rights and independence. The Declaration of Sentiments is similar to the Declaration of Independence but demands women’s rights. It was written in 1848 at the Seneca Falls Convention and was presented by Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Although the Declaration of Sentiments did bring our country closer to the ideal of rights, there are many more examples of how our country was brought further from the ideals of liberty and equality. The Alien and Sedition Acts and the Indian Removal Act brought our country much further from our ideals.

8. Example Counter Argument  Some people would say the expansion of American society brought America further from liberty because of slavery. During this time period, it looked like slaves would never gain their freedom. They were not allowed to vote or own property and could be beaten or killed by their masters. They were given no freedom, or liberty, at all. Although it is true that slavery brought us further from liberty, there are more examples of America getting closer to liberty. Since Pioneer women eventually settled in the Wyoming Territory, they were the first to gain the right to vote for women in America, therefore expanding liberty. Even though it is true that slavery brought our country further from liberty, the fact that women had the right to vote in the Wyoming Territory brought our country closer to liberty as well.

9. Conclusion  Restate claim  Re-word your initial claim from intro (blue)  Be sure you keep consistency between closer/further and ideals  Summarize your argument  Reconnect to specific events (green)  Zinger  Something to leave an impression on the reader (purple)

10. Example Conclusion  Our country moved closer to the founding ideals of opportunity and liberty throughout the expansion of American society. The California Gold Rush gave many opportunities for settlers to expand. Moving westward gave many groups, such as women, more rights and freedom. These groups were able to gain more freedom because of the risk they took in expanding west. The expansion of American society paved the way and helped our country provide people with the founding ideals that every American is searching for.

11. Writing Tips  Writing Skills!  I noted that wording was “Awk” a lot!! Awkward!! Read it out loud!  Conventions!  You are 8thgraders—stop it with the run-on’s already!!  Read the comments and corrections on your paper to get extra help with this!

12. Writing Tips Examples  “Now today women have the same amount of rights that men have native Americans have the same rights also but also there is not more slaves but all of the people that we cut of their rights have rights today and finally got what they wanted but what about their liberty?”  “This made the country conquered many lands including Louisiana and Texas.”  “His founding’s attracted many settlers to California.”  “Being an example of how it wasn’t huge is that it slowly ended soon later on.”  “That moving to the west gave us good and bad opportunities.”

13. Writing Tips Examples  Topic sentence  “Second, they went towards liberty.”  “Because of political parties, democracy brought us closer to the American expansion.”  “Another significant ideal is the rights to child labor.”  “In conclusion the quality helps us today because the declaration of sentiments now allows women to vote and right now it causes huge numbers of votes in things like choosing a new president.”  “Finally the opportunity and the quality American society closer because quality made them work with each other and opportunity brought them cooperation.”