1 / 63

All About the random stuff you can do

All About the random stuff you can do. 2. WE PROMISE NOT TO DO ANYTHING IN THIS DOCUMENT BECUASE WE CAN’T BE BOTHERED

sorley
Download Presentation

All About the random stuff you can do

An Image/Link below is provided (as is) to download presentation Download Policy: Content on the Website is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use and may not be sold / licensed / shared on other websites without getting consent from its author. Content is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use only. Download presentation by click this link. While downloading, if for some reason you are not able to download a presentation, the publisher may have deleted the file from their server. During download, if you can't get a presentation, the file might be deleted by the publisher.

E N D

Presentation Transcript

  1. All About the random stuff you can do 2

  2. WE PROMISE NOT TO DO ANYTHING IN THIS DOCUMENT BECUASE WE CAN’T BE BOTHERED Holly heard a noise and crouched down in the bushes. Who or what was coming towards her? Suddenly a horse emerged out of the bushes, its golden mane streaking out behind, its hooves tearing across the ground. It quickly disappeared from view, chasing after three other riderless horses. But Holly had seen it for long enough to recognise the rider. He was wearing dark clothes and unremarkable, apart from one noticeable feature. A long scar running down his face; it made Holly shiver. She knew that face. It was Scar, the most notorious criminal in all of Warbleton. His real name was Victor Prince. The local police knew he was a smuggler, drug dealer and worse, but had no hard evidence, nor could they ever catch him red-handed. Rustling! Typical Scar, thought Holly. He only has to see a news item about something and at once, thinks it’s a good idea. No imagination! Next morning, as the church bells rang out, calling people to the Sunday Service, Holly jolted awake. She had overslept and was late, again. She had arranged to meet her friends at The Treehouse in 15 minutes. It was at least a 20 minute drive to the farm and then a 5 minute walk to get to The Treehouse. Holly threw her pyjamas off and grabbed her jacket as she ran out of the door to her car. As she swung out of the drive and accelerated down the road, she picked up her mobile and dialled her friend’s number. The Treehouse was actually a xxxxx, and had become a meeting place for the four friends who were enjoying their summer holidays and waiting for their ‘A’ Level results before departing, hopefully to University. They were all a little bored because very little happened in their small village. When Holly arrived at The Treehouse she was greeted by tired looks on some of her friends faces. “What’s wrong?” she asked. “Someone stole a couple of horses from Warbleton Stables and we’ve been up all night trying to find them” said Lucy wearily. “I might be able to help you there” said Holly quickly, realising the importance of what she had seen the previous evening. She filled her friends in on what she had witnessed and finished with a question. “…so what do you think we should do? “We should go to Scar’s house and demand he returns the horses” proposed Sammy boldly. LEGAL STUFF FROM THE GOVERNMENT “Don’t be silly, Sammy” said Rachael, “We can’t do that; for starters he would deny it, and even if he admitted it, he wouldn’t give them back just like that to us, would he”. I suppose not” replied Sammy, clearly disappointed that it wasn’t as simple as she had supposed. NOT VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION They all thought for a bit… then Lucy came up with an idea. “How about we turn the tables on Scar and steal the horses back! Turning to Rachael, Lucy continued. “I know your Dad is in the police force, but if we told him our story, even if he believed us he would have nothing to go on. We need to find out where Scar is keeping the horses and then perhaps he could help us if things get hairy”. Holly, we’ll take your car in case we have to move fast, and Sammy, can you borrow the halters and bridles we’ll need? It’s a good job we’re all proficient riders!” SMALL PRINT They decided that Holly should follow Scar in order to find out where he was keeping the horses. They reasoned he’d have to go and feed them and check they were o.k. Once they knew where he was hiding them they would tell Rachael’s Dad and carry out their rescue mission the following night. THIS STUFF JUST DOESNT MATTER Holly heard a noise and crouched down in the bushes. Who or what was coming towards her? Suddenly a horse emerged out of the bushes, its golden mane streaking out behind, its hooves tearing across the ground. It quickly disappeared from view, chasing after three other riderless horses. But Holly had seen it for long enough to recognise the rider. He was wearing dark clothes and unremarkable, apart from one noticeable feature. A long scar running down his face; it made Holly shiver. She knew that face. It was Scar, the most notorious criminal in all of Warbleton. His real name was Victor Prince. The local police knew he was a smuggler, drug dealer and worse, but had no hard evidence, nor could they ever catch him red-handed. Rustling! Typical Scar, thought Holly. He only has to see a news item about something and at once, thinks it’s a good idea. No imagination! Next morning, as the church bells rang out, calling people to the Sunday Service, Holly jolted awake. She had overslept and was late, again. She had arranged to meet her friends at The Treehouse in 15 minutes. It was at least a 20 minute drive to the farm and then a 5 minute walk to get to The Treehouse. Holly threw her pyjamas off and grabbed her jacket as she ran out of the door to her car. As she swung out of the drive and accelerated down the road, she picked up her mobile and dialled her friend’s number. The Treehouse was actually a xxxxx, and had become a meeting place for the four friends who were enjoying their summer holidays and waiting for their ‘A’ Level results before departing, hopefully to University. They were all a little bored because very little happened in their small village. When Holly arrived at The Treehouse she was greeted by tired looks on some of her friends faces. “What’s wrong?” she asked. “Someone stole a couple of horses from Warbleton Stables and we’ve been up all night trying to find them” said Lucy wearily. “I might be able to help you there” said Holly quickly, realising the importance of what she had seen the previous evening. She filled her friends in on what she had witnessed and finished with a question. “…so what do you think we should do? “We should go to Scar’s house and demand he returns the horses” proposed Sammy boldly. LEGAL STUFF FROM THE GOVERNMENT “Don’t be silly, Sammy” said Rachael, “We can’t do that; for starters he would deny it, and even if he admitted it, he wouldn’t give them back just like that to us, would he”. I suppose not” replied Sammy, clearly disappointed that it wasn’t as simple as she had supposed. NOT VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION They all thought for a bit… then Lucy came up with an idea. “How about we turn the tables on Scar and steal the horses back! Turning to Rachael, Lucy continued. “I know your Dad is in the police force, but if we told him our story, even if he believed us he would have nothing to go on. We need to find out where Scar is keeping the horses and then perhaps he could help us if things get hairy”. Holly, we’ll take your car in case we have to move fast, and Sammy, can you borrow the halters and bridles we’ll need? It’s a good job we’re all proficient riders!” SMALL PRINT They decided that Holly should follow Scar in order to find out where he was keeping the horses. They reasoned he’d have to go and feed them and check they were o.k. Once they knew where he was hiding them they would tell Rachael’s Dad and carry out their rescue mission the following night. Disclaimer:

  3. YOU THOUGHT RANDOM MAN WAS DEAD! DID NOBODY TELL YOU THAT STICKMEN ARE IMMORTAL? NO, WAIT, YOU’RE TOO STUPID FOR THAT

  4. HERE HE IS, AND NOT LOOKING TOO WORSE FOR WEAR. HOW ARE YOU RANDOM MAN? erm.. I felt better when you dropped that house on me

  5. YOU INFIDEL! YOU DARE TO QUESTION OUR DICTATORS-I MEAN ‘GOVERNMENTS’ AUTHORITY? WELL DUH, WHY ELSE WOULD I BE POINTING THIS GUN AT YOUR FACE? AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN INFIDEL?

  6. AREN’T YOU THAT HOBO COLA GUY, FROM LIKE, YEAR 7? Yer, but ya know the recession kinda made us go bankrupt, health and safety and all that

  7. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT GOOD….

  8. NOW BACK TO LEARNING IMPORTANT USELESS RANDOM STUFF TO DO RIGHT AFTER I SHAKE OFF THE MIDGET POLICE, SEE YA!

  9. SHHHH!!!!

  10. KILLING ANGRY HOBO MOBS, STABBING POLICEMEN FOR THE HELL OF IT, OR… NOW, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEARN ABOUT? RANDOM MANS GUIDE TO KILLING POLITICIANS? FRANKLY, I DON’T CARE.

  11. This is Gordon Brown. He is useless, but here is his brief life story before he gets the chop And no, that doesn’t mean I’m going to circumcise him Here he is starting the cold war all over again with EX Russian President Vladimir Putin

  12. Hello Random Man… I am divine intervention OWWWWW!!!!!!! I need some worshippers here Godammit! I so hate it when the world blows up like that Sod divine intervention, all you did last time was make me a ghost

  13. God damn terrorists, wait, if I damn terrorism, then no one will pray to me at all. God dammit. I mean, me dammit I hate religion. Eat bullets kiddies! Worshippers ->

  14. Two days later…

  15. Welcome to RandomStovia! • After the world was destroyed, random man became world leader. Not that there was much to lead, there were only 4 people left: • A cadburys salesman • An astronaut • A nuclear physicist • A slightly deranged man who claimed the world was over, which of course it was • Sadly, the nuclear physicist died soon after, after he was attacked by the other three for causing the problem in the first place. • We pick up the story on the 37th of Randomth 0001. Its around lunchtime and there is some arguing going on.

  16. It’s Lunchtime! Astronaut Lunatic Cadbury Salesman

  17. Lunchtime! Astronaut Lunatic Cadbury Salesman

  18. Did the world just end? Would you like to claim compensation, because we will get you 100%! I do wish that would stop happening

  19. Sorry, but you are not eligible because you still have your main body parts intact. Bye! Deal! God dammit already!!!

  20. Will you stop saying that! I’m busy painting my fence! You don’t need God I up there ^. Come to my island la … paradise! Hello Random Man… I am God II Lets go dude!

  21. I have brought you here to… FEED YOU TO THE LIONS!! HAHAHAHA What are we doing here?? Who the hell are you??? Lions I don’t really know, someone pushed me out of the care home Good bye

  22. AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!

  23. OOOOFFFFF!!!!!

  24. Some considerable time and quite a lot of swearing later…

  25. Now random man, how are you feeling? Back to lessons, no rest for the abnormally lazy Haven’t I already answered this question?

  26. Oh look, it’s the fbi and Random man with a tank, now even I can see where this is going to go

  27. AFTER THAT ESCAPADE, THIS WAS KINDA INEVITABLE. HOW DYA LIKE PRISON THEN? I can’t tell you, this is China cough – I mean Guantanamo

  28. You aren’t going to try and escape through this big hole then? God I love those dissolving doors! I wondered when you’d notice that. BYE GUYS!

  29. You are now leaving Guantanamo bay, thank you for your custom. WE hope not to see you again soon, so if you Insist on blowing up civilians or anyone else, Please don’t get caught

  30. AFTER HIS EXPERIENCE IN GUANTANAMO BAY, RANDOM MAN WAS SOMEWHAT DISTURBED. HE WENT TO SEE MANY DIFFERENT MENTAL INSTITUTIONS, ALL OF WHICH REFERRED HIM TO THE MOST EXTREME TREATMENT THEY HAD: d.e.a.t.h – Destroying every ‘and ‘ all tiny ‘bit of’ health Random man refused, mostly because he’d tried dying before, but didn’t have enough money to get into the great waffle bar in the sky, so got thrown back down to the world of the living Here we go then, picking up the story 9 months later, along with random man’s new ‘friend’, random woman....

  31. THE CHEESY RIP OFF Guy’s HouSE! She’s so annoying. I only married her for the money. And the kid This is our well posh new house

  32. Our holy creator’s house The crazy old Lady’s house Just one problem. How do you kill the daughter of the president?

  33. How to kill the daughter of the president Mwahahahahaha ha! She does not suspect a thing. When she least suspects it, I will pounce! KEE HEE! My evil scheme is almost complete. WAIT. Oh crap. This looks nice dear. What evil demented scheme are you planning today? Oh I do love your sense of humour dear! Dinners almost ready! Actually, it’s a plot to kill you dear!

  34. THIS IS NOT THE LIFE I ORDERED!

  35. Please note: The following song and/or commercials is not necessarily the view of Random Stuff You Can Do Corporation nor any of its employees and or trained monkeys. In this specific case though, this is the view of the Random Stuff You Can Do Corporation, because of the simple fact this song is how the original should have gone, no question about it. Apart from the one question; would the advertising agency let you broadcast it?

  36. Go compare, go compare, give me a bat to kill the twat at go compare. He's such a knob-chops, he's so annoying, I just thank my stars when he finally goes off air Shuts up! YER!

  37. OH LOOK, MARY BALE’S HERE!

  38. WERE

  39. EVEN WINDOWS REJECTED YOU!

  40. EVER THOUGHT OF JOINING THE HIGHWAYS AGENCY?

  41. And now, back to the asylum. In other words, end of the commercial break. If you have not yet gone mad, then please feel free to do so in the second half. GOING INSANE COMES HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!* *Though obviously with no guarantees or warranties yada yada yada who cares

  42. What the…. Big ASS GUN

  43. HERE WE GO AGAIN…

  44. Sky Fish! Hi! I’m a frog, I’m just going a bouncing, how’s it going me mateys? Hello! I’m a penguin! (NOT LINUX!). I just came downstairs to say hi!

More Related