Winning with People

1. Winning with People Dr. John C. Maxwell

2. Critical Questions – People Principles • Are we prepared for relationships? • Are we willing to focus on others? • Can we build mutual trust? • Are we willing to invest in others? • Can we create a win-win relationship?

3. The Readiness Question Are we prepared for relationships?

4. People Principles • The Lens Principle • The Mirror Principle • The Pain Principle • The Hammer Principle • The Elevator Principle

5. The Lens Principle Who we are determines how we see others

6. Who You Are Determines… • What you see • How you see others • How you view life • What you do

7. Determining Who You Are • Genetics • Self-image • Experiences in life • Attitude & choices about those experiences • Friends

8. The Mirror Principle The first person we must examine is ourselves

9. The Mirror Test • Self-awareness • Self-image • Self-honesty • Self-improvement • Self-responsibility

10. The Pain Principle Hurting people hurt people and are easily hurt by them

11. Truths in Dealing with Others • There are many hurting people • Those hurting people often hurt people • Those hurting people are often hurt by people • Those hurting people often hurt themselves

12. Dealing with Hurting People • Don’t take it personally • Look beyond the person for the problem • Look beyond the situation • Do not add to their hurt • Help them find help

13. The Hammer Principle Never use a hammer to swat a fly off someone’s hand

14. Tempering Your Behavior • Total picture • Timing • Tone • Temperature

15. Developing a Softer Touch • Let the past stay in the past • Ask yourself, Is my reaction part of the problem? • Remember that actions are remembered long after words are forgotten

16. Developing a Softer Touch • Never let the situation mean more than the relationship • Treat loved ones with unconditional love • Admit wrongs and ask forgiveness

17. The Elevator Principle We can lift people up or take people down in our relationships

18. Four Kinds of People • Some people add something to life – We enjoy them • Some people subtract something from life – We tolerate them • Some people multiply something in life – We value them • Some people divide something in life – We avoid them

19. Being a Positive Influence • Commit to daily encouragement • Know the little difference that separates hurting & helping • Initiate the positive in a negative environment • Understand life is not dress rehearsal

20. The Connection Question Are we willing to focus on others?

21. People Principles • Big Picture Principle • Exchange Principle • Learning Principle • Charisma Principle • Number 10 Principle • Confrontation Principle

22. The Big Picture Principle The entire population of the world – with one minor exception – is composed of others

23. Breaking the Selfish Pattern • Perspective • Maturity • Responsibility

24. Improving Your Ability to See • Get out of your “Own Little World” • Check your ego at the door • Understand what brings fulfillment

25. The Exchange Principle Instead of putting others in their place, we must put ourselves in their place

26. The Power of Perspective • We naturally do not see ourselves & others from the same perspective • When we fail to see things from the perspective of others, we fail in our relationships • Learning to see things from others’ perspectives help us succeed in our relationships

27. Making the Exchange • Leave “your place” & visit “their place” • Acknowledge that the other person has a valid viewpoint • Check your attitude • Ask others what they would do in your situation

28. The Learning Principle Each person we meet has the potential to teach us something

29. What’s Your Attitude? • No one can teach me anything – Arrogant • Someone can teach me everything – Naïve • Everyone can teach me something - Teachable

30. Learning from Others • Make learning your passion • Value people • Develop relationships with growth potential • Identify people’s uniqueness & strengths • Ask questions

31. The Charisma Principle People are interested in the person who is interested in them

32. Making People Like You • Become genuinely interested in other people • Smile • Remember that a person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound

33. Making People Like You • Be a good listener – encourage others to talk about themselves • Talk in terms of the other person’s interests • Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely

34. The Number Principle Believing the best in people usually brings the best out of people

35. Five Things About People • Everybody wants to be somebody • Nobody cares how much you know until he knows how much you care • Everybody needs somebody • Anybody that helps somebody influences lots of bodies • Somebody today will rise up and become somebody

36. A High Belief in People • Our disappointment in a few people should not stop us from believing in people • A trusting heart is emotionally healthy • We behave in light of our beliefs

37. A High Belief in People • A healthy marriage is built on high expectations • Expressing belief in people’s potential encourages them to reach their potential

38. The Confrontation Principle Caring for people should precede confronting people

39. What We Know About Relationships • Conflict is unavoidable • Confrontation is difficult • How we handle conflict determines our success in tough situations

40. Road Map for Healthy Confrontation • Confront a person only if you care for that person • Meet together ASAP • First seek understanding, not necessarily agreement

41. Road Map for Healthy Confrontation • Outline the issue • Encourage a response • Agree to an action plan

42. The Trust Question Can we build mutual trust?

43. People Principles • Bedrock principle • Situation principle • Bob principle • Approachability principle • Foxhole principle

44. The Bedrock Principle Trust is the foundation of any relationship

45. Trust & Relationships • Foundation of any relationship • Frame of any relationship • Height of any relationship

46. Build Your Trustworthiness • Trust begins with yourself • Trust cannot be compartmentalized • Trust works like a bank account

47. Rebuilding Trust with Others • Forgive them • Explain that the violation must never happen again • Remember their better moments

48. The Situation Principle Never let the situation mean more than the relationship

49. Keeping the Proper Perspective • Do I see the big picture – or just the bad picture? • Do I communicate the big picture along with the bad one? • Is this a one-time situation or an oft-repeated one?

50. Keeping the Proper Perspective • Do I make too many situations a life-or-death issue? • Do I show my unconditional love during difficult situations?