Getting a deeper understanding Can we find a commondenominator amongst the large number of manifestations of OCD and anxiety disorders?
The need to get rid of uncertainty!!! The problem is “it’s just impossible” We can never be 100% certain!
We All Enjoy Security But… Security has a price to pay
Security usually entailsavoidance of comfort or expense If I never fly a plane – I will never die from a plane going down over the Atlantic Security = I am safe Price = I cant fly ******* If I insure everything in my house - I don’t have to worry about losing my fortune in a fire Security = can’t lose my fortune Price = pay high monthly fee for years
There are many levels of security קריאת שמע
How does one pick his level of security Notice how every person decides What he thinks is considered normal And someone who is more careful is overcautious And someone who is less careful Is reckless
What is this decision based on? Usually it will be based on the calculation of how much risk and how much price. (if something means a lot to me, I will be willing to risk more.) We make these decisions without major calculations. This is the NORMAL way of living
Why do not we just play everything super-safe and do what ever it takes to be 100 percent safe Part one of the answer is – it is a sacrifice Part two of the answer is – it is impossible
Let us apply this to some of our examples: The fellow who only uses a helmet, stops at every corner, never rides at night, always rides slowly, never uses headphones, never uses one hand, never drives on a high-speed roads – can he be 100 percent sure that he will never get into an accident? So even if you are willing to pay the high price You still cannot get what you want!!!
Anxiety disorders are fueled by: The need for 100 percent security and the certainty 2) Putting in a tremendous amount of effort to attain this 3) The realization, after all my sacrifice I am still vulnerable
Understanding the frustration Feeling you need something for survival. Paying a high price to get it. Realizing that it’s not attainable Worst of all, my efforts are futile. I am not in control. I am doomed and hopeless.
The source of the error you are defying your own understanding and acceptance of the world as it is. Everyone is resigned to the fact that they are not in control. We all learned to live with it. Even people with anxiety disorders live by these rules, except for the specifics of where the disorder haunts them.
A few thoughts… • הקב"הmade us extremely fragile. • Need for בטחון. • There are so many sources of danger, how can anyone avoid all of them. • See how many people tried securing themselves and were still unsuccessful. • You will never escape mass dangers. • מצוותwere given to be a source of enjoyment not a pain.
A prerequisite for recovery Accepting to be willing to live in a world with uncertainty. This means realizing: Bad things do happen They may happen I cannot control it And it may even be my fault!
THE SAFEST PLACE TO BE TO STAY ALIVE. Avoid riding in autos because they are responsible for 20% of all fatal accidents. Don’t get out of the house because 17% of all accident occur in the home. (that’s 37% already) Avoid walking, because 14% of all accidents involve pedestrians. (now we’re up to 51%) Avoid traveling by air, trains or buses. 16% of of all accidents involve these forms of transportation. (that’s 67%) Of the remaining 33%, 32% of all deaths occur in hospitals. Above all, avoid hospitals. You will be pleased to note that only 1% of all deaths occur in a synagogue, and these are usually related to some previous health condition. Therefore, logic tells us the safest place to be at any given point of time is in a synagogue. Torah study is even safer. The number of deaths during Torah study is too small to register. So, for safety sake, go to shul as often as possible, and attend Torah study. It could save your life.
Goal of recovery Learn how to gauge - How much worry is acceptable and worthwhile? - Recognize “normal risks” and be ready to handle them? - How much security is realistic to accomplish?