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Thesis Revision

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  1. Thesis Revision

  2. Revised Thesis Although flirting can be a carefree and amusing way to meet people, the song “Promiscuous” illustrates teenagers belief that in order to obtain love they have to start with selling themselves through sex, and when finding love starts as a game it leads individuals to be insecure and lack trust in one another.

  3. Yes, it’s still long winded, but… • it is better to be a bit long winded at this point in the writing process. • because • The longer thesis assertion will give you more breadth of ideas to write about as you continue drafting.