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Waiting for the Right Time Lesson 3. Do right!. From the very start, have purpose in your heart – To do the right and never question why. Never count the cost though everything seems lost, The price for doing right is sometimes high.

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do right
Do right!

From the very start, have purpose in your heart –

To do the right and never question why.

Never count the cost though everything seems lost, The price for doing right is sometimes high.

Do right ‘til the stars fall, do right ‘til the last call, Do right when there’s no one else to stand by you.

Do right when you’re all alone,

do right though it’s never known,

do right since you love the Lord –

do right, do right!

do right1
Do right!

Right is always right, and wrong is always wrong,

And we must learn to separate the two.

If you love the right, the Lord will give you light,

So seek the right in everything you do!

Do right ‘til the stars fall, do right ‘til the last call,

Do right when there’s no one else to stand by you.

Do right when you’re all alone,

Do right though it’s never known,

Do right since you love the Lord –

Do right, do right!

for ladies
For Ladies
  • A letter from Christian Guys....
  • Modesty Survey

http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/browse

review of lesson 2 keeping myself pure
Review of Lesson 2 – Keeping Myself Pure

What is Purity?

Innocence and absence of temptation; free from moral fault or guilt, marked by chastity

  • Why is it important?
    • Because our bodies are no longer our own
    • Because it allows us to focus on the Lord
    • Because it safeguards and protects marital sex. It is an offense against the body.
    • Because it is a command!
  • How does impurity creep into our heart? Through our senses…
    • In what we see
    • In what we smell
    • In what we hear
    • In what we taste
    • In what we touch
  • How do we keep ourselves pure?
    • Flee from all appearance of evil (pornography, bad music, excessive TV and internet usage, trashy novels and stories, going to places that don’t glorify God)
    • Ladies should not tempt men by wearing immodest apparel
    • Everyone should ask for forgiveness, put our body under subjection, and do right!
slide7

Once there was a boy who saw a cocoon and from it a butterfly was struggling to come out. The boy wanting to see and play with the butterfly, thought it best if he could help it get out of the cocoon.

So the boy tore through the cocoon so that the butterfly could more easily come out.

It did come out, but it was just a caterpillar with shriveled wings.

The butterfly needed to come out of the cocoon slowly for it to ‘activate’ the muscles that would develop its wings.

If the boy had waited, he could have seen the butterfly in its full splendor.

slide8

YES!

Can we connect this story with true love?

In the same way we have to wait for love. Like the boy, you could also tear the cocoon, or have a bf/gf while studying or have an intimate physical relationship with another person even while you are not married… butthat action hasconsequences.

If we wait, we will be able to see and experience TRUE LOVE!

the rose

‘The Rose’

A Group Exercise – 10 minutes

instructions for the facilitator
Instructions for the Facilitator
  • This activity is designed to show how sometimes the best way to get something is just to wait.
  • Show the rosebud to the group. Ask a volunteer to try to open the bud gently, and then pass until everyone has the chance to open it. The goal is to produce a blossomed flower.
  • After everyone is done, ask the group the following questions:
    • How did you try to achieve the goal?
    • Were you able to achieve the goal?
    • If not, why not?
    • Would you say that this bud is somewhat like love? Why?

Lesson: Like the rosebuds you tried to open, love is not something we can force to bloom. We can try to make love bloom (just like we did with the rose) but it would get the same result – A mess! If we really want to experience true and beautiful love, we need to allow it to bloom in its own time.

friendship vs bf gf
Friendship vs. BF/GF

MU

Crushes

Bridges

Pam-bubuyo

BF/GF

- The Christian conviction is to be in an exclusive relationship with the clear intent of marrying that person.

Friendship

  • Puts the interest of the other person above your own interest
  • Won’t allow any harm to happen to the other person
lbbc principles on relationships
LBBC Principles on Relationships

Measure of Readiness:

  • Emotional – Am I emotionally mature? (Am I in control over my emotions)
  • Mental – Can I handle the pressures and problems in life like an adult would? Can you handle and overcome temptations?
  • Physical - Am I physically healthy and strong enough to take care of someone else? Can I control my physical desires?
  • Spiritual – Am I strong enough to do what is right, in accordance with God’s will, even if it is inconvenient or hard for me? (Gal 5:22-23) (Rom 12:1-2)
  • Financial – Can I currently support myself and my future spouse financially?
other reasons why we should wait
Other reasons why we should wait

The following practical facts prove why it is wise to save sex and physical intimacy for marriage:

Fact 1: AIDS and STDs

AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases are acquired, and can be gotten through a single contact.

Fact 2: Unwanted pregnancy

Teenage pregnancy is on the rise, even in churches. Having a child is a great responsibility. It is a blessing from God and should never be labeled as an ‘accident.’ Think for a moment how life would change for you if you learned that you were pregnant. What kind of life would that be?

Fact 3: Emotional toll

Relationships and pre-marital sex can lead to guilt, anger, bitterness, loss of self-esteem, self-respect, and damaged reputation. This can lead to depression, and the teen can turn to drugs or alcohol to remove the pain.

It can also lead to emotional baggage in their married life. The ‘first time’ is always a symbol of fidelity – what happens if it is given away before marriage?

god s reasons on why we should wait
God’s reasons on why we should wait
  • The Bible guides us on why we should wait
    • (I Cor 10:31) Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
  • We can easily give in to our urges, do what we want, make our own rules – but is this what is best for us? There is a difference between doing what FEELS good, and doing what IS good for us.
    • (I Cor 10:23) All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient (profitable): all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.
  • God loves us and wants what is best for us. He is already preparing the best to be your partner for life. ‘One Woman for One Man for Life! Psalm 37:4.
  • Because True Love is worth the wait.
so how do we make the waiting worthwhile
So how do we make the waiting worthwhile?
  • By responding to the call of PURITY!
how to wait
How to Wait
  • Seek God
    • The more we get to know God, the more we realize what He wants us to do and the more we discern His Plans for us. He showed us what true love is all about. (I John 4:7-21)
  • Guard your heart
    • Our hearts lead us to action. We must keep it pure for those who need true love from us. God will guard our hearts if we learn to listen to him (Phil 4:7)
  • Guard your thoughts
    • We think we can handle it, but our thoughts put our defenses at risk. Temptation itself is not sin – but can lead us to commit sin. It pays to keep our minds pure while we wait (Phil 4:8; II Cor 10:5)
  • Look at others in a different light
    • Rather than looking at others as a potential boyfriend or girlfriend or even MU, treat each other with absolute purity and show brotherly love When we do this we see each other in a different light, and see their true selves.
how to wait cont d
How to Wait (cont’d)
  • Strive for Purity
    • Dress to advertise yourself (not your body or sexuality)
    • Watch your conversation (always build up, and not tear down others)
    • Watch what your senses are exposed to
  • Make Friends
    • Look for friends who share the same goal of being pure. They will support your convictions. Eccl 4: 10-12 gives the importance of friendship.
  • Prepare your answer to pressure lines
    • ‘ang corny mo naman.’ ‘everyone is doing it’ kung mahal mo ako gagawin mo ito para sa akin’…. These are many lines that you will hear, and you will have to make a stand on what you believe.
  • Get involved in the ministry
    • Being busy for the Lord yields much fruit and protects you from temptation
  • Enjoy being free
    • There are many things you can do, and many people you can meet. These are the times that you can mature spiritually and get to know God more.
break out sessions 20 minutes
Break out sessions (20 minutes)

Activity 1: What will I say to what they say?

Write possible pressure lines and then discuss what answers you can give in order to keep pure. Practice answering pressure lines you will hear when you get into compromising situations.

Activity 2: What should I do?

Each group to write down two lists.

  • The first list should be things you can do and activities you can get involved in that will benefit your personal growth;
  • The second list are specific ministries and church activities that you can spend time in that will maximize your singleness and spiritual growth
the challenge of waiting
The Challenge of Waiting
  • Making the commitment to be pure (sample pledge cards)
  • Purity Ceremony – public commitment to remain pure. This is just the beginning of the journey. The ring is a symbol to remind us to be pure for God.
  • Satan will try to destroy you because he wants to deprive you of God’s true love for you. He will try to ruin your testimony and hinder you to serve God. Be strong. (Joshua 1:8-9)
  • Be patient because at the end of the journey you will find a treasure that will last a lifetime…True Love.
slide20

Yes, BUT, there are steps that you need to do before doing so:

  • First you must admit that you have sinned before God, and have defiled your body which is the temple of God.
  • Repent of your sins and seek God’s forgiveness (I John 1:9), and turn your body into a living sacrifice for God (Romans 12:1-2). Let God take full control of your life.
  • If you belong to a faithful Christian family, confess your sins to your parents. They will become a source of encouragement and accountability. If you do not have a mature Christian family member, then confess your sin to a YP adviser who can be your Accountability Partner.

Q: What if I have already committed fornication (pre-marital sex) or engaged in pornography, or any other sin of impurity, can I still be take the purity vow?

God is a God of new beginnings. He will forgive you. But you must rely on Christ to give you self-control over your body. Only He can free you from the bondage of your addiction and sin, and give you the VICTORY!

slide21
Know your bottom line, communicate your position, stick by your convictions, avoid compromising circumstances, and bolt like a bat!

I Thessalonians 5:19-23

19 Quench not the Spirit.

20 Despise not prophesyings.

21 Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.

22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.

23 And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

24 Faithful is He that calleth you, who also will do it.

finding your accountability partner
Finding your Accountability Partner

What is an accountability partner? (Ecc 4:10)

He or she is someone who has agreed to be ‘accountable’ and sees to it that the person who signed the pledge card follows through with his/her commitment to be pure. His/Her main task is to be a concerned person willing to give encouragement, friendship, attention, love and rebuke (if necessary).

How do I find the right accountability partner?

Pray to God and ask Him for guidance, and commit to searching for the right accountability partner for you. You need to have at least 1 AP

What are the qualifications of an accountability partner?

Your AP should be older than you. They should be able to understand what concerns you face on a day to day basis. He/She must be the same gender as you, and must be growing or mature Christian (not someone who is stagnant, cold, or backslidden). He must be willing to take responsibility as your AP. He must also know the seminar material. You need to be able to talk to him/her, and you are not afraid to approach him/her with sensitive issues.

what do i do with my ap
What do I do with my AP?
  • Enter into a covenant together
    • Once you have selected your AP you need to let your advisers know and they will give you your AP covenant cards and let him/her sign as a commitment to you that he/she will be your AP.
  • Pray together regularly
    • This is the most important element in accountability. You will engage in a prayer bond to pray for each other wherever you are. You can start this relationship by asking him/her to pray for your commitment to purity after you give him the covenant card.
  • Meet regularly
    • You can do this with him/her, depending on your schedules. This is the time to fellowship, affirm your purity, or they will rebuke you in the spirit of love. Agree on a specific time and place. This can be done as often as once a week, or as seldom as once month. You can send email (or text messages) to each other to keep in touch.
  • Agree to answer truthfully
    • You must agree to be honest with your AP in answering specific questions your AP will ask you regarding your walk with God, and purity related issues.
  • Plan special times together
    • Study God’s word together, and celebrate when you experience victory over temptations that Satan may put in your way. He will encourage you during your high and low times in your journey.
questions your ap may ask you
Questions your AP may ask you:
  • How has your Bible study and prayer been going, and how do you feel about that?
  • What did you watch, read, and listen to last week? When were you conscious of thinking unhelpful thoughts?
  • Did you go anywhere that you know can destroy your testimony?
  • Who and what have you been thinking, dreaming, or fantasizing about?
  • How is your relationship with your friends, and crush (if any) going?
  • What is concerning and encouraging you spiritually, emotionally, and sexually?
  • What mistakes have you made since the last time we met, and how have you handled these?
  • How can I be praying for you this week?
what if my ap becomes problematic
What if my AP becomes problematic?

You may encounter some problems with the AP you selected, but this should not discourage you. Satan will do his best to keep you from reaching your goal.

  • Conflicting Schedules – Find ways of contacting each other if you cannot meet. Just make sure you are able to update each other.
  • Loss of an AP – You may lose touch with your AP if he/she is always busy. Try looking for a new AP to replace the one you’ve lost, and check with the YP advisers.
  • Your AP fails to pray for you – They may need encouragement themselves. You must also pray for your AP, and let them know that you do so. Express your appreciation for their commitment to help you stay pure.
  • Your AP stumbles or fails – Even mature Christians fall into sin. When they do, do not be discouraged. It’s your turn to remind them of their spiritual responsibilities. Continue to love them, but do not condone their sin. Pray for them during this time, they need your friendship and support. Be strong for them. You, too, can be an AP someday and encourage others.
slide26

Prayer for ForgivenessEach person who will commit a lifetime of purity to God is encouraged to ask for forgiveness, and have a moment of silent prayer at this time.

the purity vow
The Purity Vow
  • Pray earnestly as you commit yourself to purity. This is an important lifetime vow you will make to God for yourself, your family, your future spouse, and your future kids. A pledge card and a ring will be given you when you take the purity vow, and the idea is to give the ring to your future spouse at the day of your marriage.
  • Do not sign the card or participate in the ceremony if you are not serious about your vow. (Ecclesiastes 5:4-5)
  • On the other hand, do not also be afraid to commit. He that stand for nothing will fall for anything.

Psa 37:5 Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

Pro 16:3 Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.

1Co 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.