Coaching Methodologies

1. Coaching Methodologies Week 2 Dr. Sheila Boysen-Rotelli

2. Setting the Foundation 1. MEETING ETHICAL GUIDELINES AND PROFESSIONAL STANDARDS 2. ESTABLISHING THE COACHING AGREEMENT

3. Co-Creating the Relationship 3. ESTABLISHING TRUST AND INTIMACY WITH THE CLIENT 4. COACHING PRESENCE

4. Communicating Effectively 5. ACTIVE LISTENING 6. POWERFUL QUESTIONING 7. DIRECT COMMUNICATION

5. Facilitating Learning and Results 8. CREATING AWARENESS 9. DESIGNING ACTIONS 10. PLANNING AND GOAL SETTING 11. MANAGING PROGRESS AND ACCOUNTABILITY

6. Uncovering Irrational Beliefs using the A-B-C Model • The coach’s job is to recognize irrational beliefs and to challenge those beliefs. • (B)Beliefs/Thoughts • Evaluation • Rational • Irrational • Activating Event • Actual Event • (C) Consequences • Emotions • Behaviors

7. Personalization and Blame • The client is continually comparing herself to others, she questions her own self worth, she thinks that everything people do or say is some kind of a reaction to her, she holds other people responsible for her pain. • •Diane has been working for the same company for 5 years, she is upset because Barbara was hired 18 months ago and has been promoted to a job Diane had expected to be given. She wonders what is wrong with her and why her boss is mistreating her and is giving preferential treatment to Barbara.

8. Sample Language Personalization and Blame • “Barbara’s promotion has been a disappointment for you.” • “What other reasons may their be for Barbara being given the promotion?” • “What is a more favorable way that you can view in your strengths in light of this situation?” • “What evidence is there that your boss is mistreating you?”

9. Jumping to Conclusions • The client makes a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that support that conclusion. • Two types of Jumping to Conclusions: 1) Mind Reading: Without their saying so, the client knows what people are feeling and why they act the way that they do. In particular, the client is able to divine how people are feeling toward him 2) The Fortune Teller Error : The client anticipates that things will turn out badly and is convinced that his prediction is an already established fact.

10. Sample Language Jumping to Conclusions • “What is the evidence that leads you to believe…?” • “How do you know that your colleague is thinking…?” • “What part of the statement is a prediction? Which part is fact?” • “As you expand your thinking, how are you now seeing things differently?”

11. Overgeneralization • The client sees a single negative outcome as a continuous pattern of defeat. One bad experience means that whenever he is in a similar situation, he will repeat the bad experience. • Key words indicating overgeneralizing are: • all, every, none, never, always, everybody and nobody. • Labeling an extreme form of overgeneralization. The client describes an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded. • “I’m a total loser.” • “He’s a complete imbecile.” • “She’s the worst boss ever.”

12. Sample Language Overgeneralization • Emphasize the overgeneralization, “Everyone in your department is useless?” • “What has happened for you with this person to elicit such a strong reaction?” • “What specific actions or behaviors did your boss exhibit that leads you to that conclusion? What is your perspective on the actions or behaviors of the best boss?”

13. Catastrophizing • The client expects disaster. He notices or hears about a problem and starts “what if’s” “What if tragedy strikes?” “What if it happens to me?” • There are no limits to a very fertile catastrophic imagination. • “The economy has been so bad lately, people are losing their jobs. What if I lose my job? What if I can’t afford the house payment? What if I lose my car? How will I get a new job? What will we do?”

14. Sample Language Catastrophizing • “What evidence is there that this will happen?” • “If you were to expect something different, what would that be?” • “What would it take for you to be able to view this differently?” • “As you seek alternative ways to view this situation, what comes to mind?” • “You are looking at the worst possible outcomes. What might some best possible outcomes be?”

15. Awareness • Some key words for raising consciousness, or awareness, might be: • Aware • Clarify • Specify • Plan • Examine • Evaluate

16. Awareness • As you become more aware of your thinking, what are some other options available to you in this situation? • When you clarify for yourself that you have a desire for your performance to be perfect in all you do, how does that affect you? • When you specify one of your unwritten rules for yourself, how does your new way of thinking allow you to respond differently? • As you plan actions for your goal achievement, which thoughts are holding you back? • As you examine your current situation, which parts are you able to directly control? Which parts are you able to influence? • If you were to evaluate your belief in that statement, do you believe it 100%? If no, what % do you believe it?

17. Reframing • Some key words for increasing flexible thinking through reframing might be: • change • stretch • turn • expand • modify • seek alternatives

18. Reframing • If you were to change your viewpoint to the other person’s, what would you be saying and doing? • As you stretch your thinking to include other ideas, what are some other possibilities? • What would it take to turn this around for you? • As you expand you understanding, how are you now seeing things differently? • If you were to modify your viewpoint, how else might you see this situation? • As you seek alternative ways to view this situation, what comes to mind?

19. Peer Practice Group • Purpose: To illustrate and identify the 4 types of irrational beliefs(Personalization and Blame, Jumping to Conclusions, Overgeneralization, and Catastrophizing). Then to use the tools of increasing awareness and reframing to help the client identify the irrational beliefs and move past them. • One person is the “client” • One person is the coach • The rest are observers

20. Peer Practice Group • Process: Bring example from personal experience or from a coaching client to illustrate the irrational beliefs discussed in today’s class. The client uses their example of cognitive distortion. The coach uses the techniques of increasing awareness and reframing to increase the client’s understanding of how his/her beliefs and thoughts impact his/her interpretation of the event. Observers listen for language that indicates the presence of irrational beliefs and the language around reframing and increasing awareness that the coach uses to uncover those irrational beliefs. After 20 minutes of coaching and 10 minutes of feedback, choose another example and repeat the process.

21. Experience is the foundation of the client’s view of reality • Their view of reality can be called their Model-Of-the-World (MOW) • Their MOW contains their perception of the present and what they might want differently in the future.

22. The client’s MOW is internally represented by Deep Structures. • Deep Structures are the fullest linguistic representations of the client’s experience – and • their MOW DEEP STRUCTURE EXPERIENCE

23. Deep Structure differs from the person’s actual Experience: It is a linguistic representation. • Linguistic representations are subject to Deletion, Distortion, and Generalization - processes common to all human beings. • If Deep Structure becomes disconnected from experience due to these processes the client’s MOW is impoverished and their ability to change is restricted.

24. As clients communicate their MOW they do it in Surface Structures • Surface Structures are a representation of, and derived from, Deep Structures • The client’s Surface Structure is subject to the same processes as Deep Structures SURFACE STRUCTURE Distortion Generalization Deletion DEEP STRUCTUTRE

25. As a coach, you have Three Choices • Accept the Surface Structure as an accurate representation of Deep Structure. • Reconnect the Surface Structure to the Deep Structure to recover missing information for enhanced clarity. • Challenge the Deep Structure when cognitive errors impoverish their MOW.

26. Mental Filter The client takes the negative details and magnifies themwhilefiltering out all positives aspects of a situation. Forms of Mental Filtering 1) Discount ing t he Posit ive : The client re ject s posit ive ex periences by insisting that they don’t count. He maintains a negative belief that is contradicted by his everyday experiences. 2) The client exaggerates the importance of things or inappropriately shrinks things until they feel tiny. Examples:1) Exaggerate own mistake or someone else’s achievement2) Minimize own desirable qualities or another’s imperfections

27. Sample Language Mental Filter • As you remember the positive things you’ve experienced • recently regarding..., how are you beginning to reframe your notion that the positive is not important? • As you are becoming aware of your focus on what is (angering, frightening, saddening) you, how can you shift your perspective to develop coping strategies for this situation? • What is really true? • What other language can you use to describe the situation that feels better?

28. Roleplay • Note the irrational beliefs or counterproductive automatic thoughts that are present in the client’s language. • There will be no Peer Practice for this class, extra time will be given for class review.