what do we tell the children dr katie koehler assistant director of bereavement services n.
Download
Skip this Video
Loading SlideShow in 5 Seconds..
What do we tell the Children? Dr. Katie Koehler Assistant Director of Bereavement Services PowerPoint Presentation
Download Presentation
What do we tell the Children? Dr. Katie Koehler Assistant Director of Bereavement Services

Loading in 2 Seconds...

play fullscreen
1 / 22

What do we tell the Children? Dr. Katie Koehler Assistant Director of Bereavement Services - PowerPoint PPT Presentation


  • 99 Views
  • Uploaded on

What do we tell the Children? Dr. Katie Koehler Assistant Director of Bereavement Services. Formerly known as The Child Bereavement Trust. A simple child That lightly draws its breath And feels its life in every limb What should it know of death?. William Wordsworth, We are seven.

loader
I am the owner, or an agent authorized to act on behalf of the owner, of the copyrighted work described.
capcha
Download Presentation

PowerPoint Slideshow about 'What do we tell the Children? Dr. Katie Koehler Assistant Director of Bereavement Services' - rosalyn-sweet


An Image/Link below is provided (as is) to download presentation

Download Policy: Content on the Website is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use and may not be sold / licensed / shared on other websites without getting consent from its author.While downloading, if for some reason you are not able to download a presentation, the publisher may have deleted the file from their server.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - E N D - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Presentation Transcript
what do we tell the children dr katie koehler assistant director of bereavement services

What do we tell the Children?Dr. Katie Koehler Assistant Director of Bereavement Services

Formerly known as The Child Bereavement Trust

slide2

A simple child

That lightly draws its breath

And feels its life in every limb

What should it know of death?

William Wordsworth, We are seven

slide3

The Elephant in the Room

There’s an elephant in the room.

We all know it’s there.

We are thinking about the elephant as we talk together.

It is constantly in our minds.

For, you see, it is a very large elephant.

It has hurt us all.

But we don’t talk about the elephant in the room.

Terry Kettering

families in grief

Families in grief

At a time when partners need each other most and children need their parents, they are often unable to be emotionally available to each other because they are consumed with their own grief.

slide5

Circumstances

of death/dying

Relationship with

person who died

‘Recovery’

environment

The child,

personality,

background

Factors affecting

the grieving process

tasks of mourning
Tasks of Mourning

To accept the reality of the loss

To experience the pain of grief

To adjust to an environment in which the person who has died is missing

To emotionally relocate the person and move on with life

J William Worden

slide7

A Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement

Stroebe & Schut (1999)

Everyday Life Experience

Restoration-oriented

Attending to life changes

Doing new things

Distraction from grief

Denial/avoidance of grief

New roles/identity/ relationship

Loss-oriented

Grief work

Intrusion of grief

Breaking bonds/ties

Denial/avoidance of restoration changes

in working with grieving families we all bring our own
In working with grieving families, we all bring our own
  • hurts and losses
  • feelings about loss by death
  • desire to care for others
  • ability to reach out and involve ourselves
  • inability, when overpowered by the horror or tragedy of a child’s death and our own sadness

“A Child Dies; a Portrait of Family Grief.” Joan Hagan Arnold & Penelope Buschman Gemma 1983. 1983.

effects of bereavement on children
Effects of bereavement on children
  • Physical health
  • Cognitive responses
  • Behavioural responses
  • Emotional responses
indirect impact
Indirect impact
  • Closed communication that can be detrimental (Holliday 2002) .
  • The nature of the sibling relationship (Hindmarch 2000)
  • Role of the surviving sibling is affected (Holliday 2002)
  • Parental overprotection can affect self esteem and independence (Gibbons 1992)
  • (Holliday 2002)
secondary losses
Secondary losses
  • Loss of security
  • Loss of attention
  • Loss of normality
  • Loss of confidence
children s experience of bereavement
Children’s experience of bereavement
  • Loss of the living as well as the dead
  • Adults can seek support, children are left with what is given to them
  • Act out feelings rather than speak them
  • Revisit their grief at each life stage
what can we do to help
What can we do to help?
  • Understanding, love and sensitivity
  • To be involved
  • Honesty
  • Information
  • Opportunity to express feelings
  • To revisit their grief as they become older
resilience
Resilience
  • Is promoted by:
    • Temperament
    • Scholastic competence
    • Self-esteem
    • Supportive relationships
    • Communication
    • Ability to share
    • Familial emotional support
family support
Family Support
  • Bereaved children are protected by their relationships with surviving family members (Harrington & Harrison 1999)
  • Families with higher cohesion, active/recreational orientation and moral/religious emphasis had children with fewer behaviour problems post bereavement (Davies 1988)
how do i talk to a child about death
How do I talk to a child about death?
  • Be honest
  • As soon as possible: or may undermine confidence in adults
  • Begin talking to the child about what he/she experienced or noticed
  • Use the adult reality
how do i talk to a child about death1
How do I talk to a child about death?
    • Let him/her ask questions as often as he/she wants
    • Answer questions accurately
  • Watch out for the child’s tendency to blame him/herself
  • Give clear message it was not his/her fault
  • Encourage child to remember and talk about the person who has died
the guiding principles
The Guiding Principles
  • Young people need, want and deserve honesty, truth and choices.
  • You can not “fix it”.
  • Grief is a normal, healthy, response to loss

Based on an article written by Donna Schuurman, The Dougy Centre

www.childbereavement.org.uk

slide21
Website

www.childbereavement.org.uk

Families Discussion Forum

Support and Information Line: 01494 568900

Email: enquiries@childbereavement.org.uk