The Vital Role of Fathering

1. The Vital Role of Fathering The Making of a Young Person Focus of the Family Radio broadcast June 15, 2006

2. Study: Truth eroding • Research on born again Christian among teenagers in evangelical church. • Is there universal truth? Percentage answered NO: • 1991 - 52% • 1994 - 62% • 1999 - 78% • now - 91%

3. Study: The likelihood of young people involving Drug, Alcohol, and Violent • Study on family structure done by Columbia University after columbine high school incident in 1999. • 30% MORE likely – in a single Parent with the mother as the head • 68% MORE likely – in a two parent biological family with a fairly poor relationship with the father • 94% LESS likely – in a two parent biological family with a good relationship with the father

4. Study: The likelihood of young people involving Drug, Alcohol, and Violent • FBI study to develop a profile of potential shooter: One of the three ingredients of having a potential shooter is that the father is either absent or distance in the parenting process.

5. Study: The predicting factor of developing health problem • 30 years of study done by John Hopkins medical school to determine the common predicting factor of a young person that will have a greater potential of mental illness, hypertension, malignant tumor, coronary heart disease, and suicide. • The most significant predictor was the lack of closeness to one's parent. • A child raises in a loving family can handle stress must better later in their life.

6. The making of a young person- essential ingredients • Two essential ingredients for passing on truth and values to the child: • Develop close relationship • Model value and truth in your life

7. The making of a young person- essential ingredients • Two essential ingredients for passing on truth and values to the child: • Develop close relationship • Model value and truth in your life

8. The making of a young person- behavior • what drives a young people behavior?

9. The making of a young person - value • what drives a young people behavior? • what form their values?

10. The making of a young person- belief • what drives a young people behavior? • what form their values? • what engender their beliefs?

11. The making of a young person- relationship • what drives a young people behavior? • what form their values? • what engender their beliefs? Truth without relationship lead to rebellion

12. The making of a young person- relationship • From NLT: • Ps 26:3 I am always aware of your unfailing love, and I have lived according to your truth. • Ps 86:11 Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to your truth. .. 13 ,for you love for me is very great. • Ps 85:10 Unfailing love and truth have met together. • Eph 4:15 Speak the truth in love

13. The making of a young person- essential ingredients • Two essential ingredients for passing on truth and values to the child: • Develop close relationship • Model value and truth in your life

14. The making of a young person - modeling • Study suggesting that • 7 percent of what the child learns from the parent is from words, • 18 percent from shared experiences, and • 75 percent from modeling? Children watch us. They watch how I treat my wife. They watch how I treat them. They watch what I value.

15. The making of a young person - modeling • From NLT: • Jn 13:15 I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. • Ph 3:17 pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example. • Ph 4:9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. • 1Pe 2:21 Christ is your example, and you must follow in his steps.

16. The making of a young person- essential ingredients • Two essential ingredients for passing on truth and values to the child: • Develop close relationship • Model that value and truth in your life

17. I give you my love, which means that I accept you, without reservations, just as you are and will be. I give you my personal presence in order that you will have the security you need during your childhood. I give you my ears, in the sense that I will never be too busy to listen to you—sometimes never uttering even one word. I give you opportunities to work so that you might learn to do it without shame and come to enjoy the satisfaction of work well done. I give you my counsel only when it is necessary or you ask for it so that you might avoid some of the mistakes I have made. I give you my consolation when you have failed or feel discouraged, but I will not always protect you from the consequences of your sins. I give you instructions in the way of the Lord so that when you are old, you will never depart from it. I give you my daily prayers that the Lord will keep you and guide you in such a way that you, my child, will be a man or woman who will serve and glorify our Heavenly Father. When we reflect on how Mom and I tried to channel your life, I hope you will think well of us. Undoubtedly, we made mistakes, but we tried hard to do the best we could. God created two perfect children in Adam and Eve. He placed them in a perfect environment, yet both of them rebelled and did evil. Such can be the consequences of having children with wills of their own. I can only pray that you will continue to will the will of God. Love, Dad