Lim Por Yen Fil Theatre – Double Bill

1. Lim Por Yen Fil Theatre – Double Bill 2004 UE Section C Proofreading

2. Lim Por Yen Fil Theatre – Double Bill • What kind of films does the passage talk about? • Have you ever seen such a film? • Is it worthwhile to make such films?

3. 77. The Festival of Hungry Ghosts takes place during78. the seven lunar month. At this time the gates of hell are79. opened to free the ghosts, then wander the world seeking food. • The subject is “Festival”, not “Ghosts”. • Correct.

4. 77. The Festival of Hungry Ghosts takes place during78. the seven lunar month. At this time the gates of hell are79. opened to free the ghosts, then wander the world seeking food. • The problem is with “seven lunar month.” • It’s not likely that a festival will last seven months. So … • During which month will it take place? • Replace “seven” with “seventh”.

5. 77. The Festival of Hungry Ghosts takes place during78. The seven lunar month. At this time the gates of hell are79. opened to free the ghosts, then wander the world seeking food. • As it’s written, it sounds as if (the gates are opened) and then (the gates wander the world). • A word is needed to make it clear that it is the ghosts who wander the world seeking food. • Add “who” before then.

6. 80. In HK, many Taoist organisations hold up ceremonies81. to honour for the dead and give away rice to the elderly and the poor. • You do not “hold up” a ceremony. • You can “hold up a bank”, which means to rob a bank with a gun. • You can “hold up an object”, which means to hold something up high. • Delete “up”.

7. 80. In HK, many Taoist organisations hold up ceremonies81. to honour for the dead and give away rice to the elderly and the poor. • If something is an honour for me, I feel honoured. • The dead cannot feel honoured. • The ceremonies are held to honour the dead. • Replace “for” with “to”. • N.B. give away = give for free

8. 82. The rice distributed which is depicted in this film was scheduled to83. last from 9am to about 6pm but, in order to be sure a place in the84. line, most people arrived well before dawn. • What was scheduled to last from 9am to 6pm? • It was the act of giving the rice, not the rice itself. • Distributed must be changed into a noun. • Replace “distributed” with “distribution”.

9. 82. The rice distributed which is depicted in this film was scheduled to83. last from 9am to about 6pm but, in order to be sure a place in the84. line, most people arrived well before dawn. • A preposition must follow “sure”. • Add “of” after “sure”.

10. 82. The rice distributed which is depicted in this film was scheduled to83. last from 9am to about 6pm but, in order to be sure a place in the84. line, most people arrived well before dawn. • Correct.

11. 85. Ngau Tau Kok Estate is one of oldest and largest86. public housing projects in HK. Much of the residents87. are either elderly people who live alone or working-class families. • An article is needed before adjectives ending in the suffix “–est”. • Add “the” before “oldest.

12. 85. Ngau Tau Kok Estate is one of oldest and largest86. public housing projects in HK. Much of the residents87. are either elderly people who live alone or working-class families. • “Residents” is countable. • Replace “Much” with “Many” or “Most”.

13. 85. Ngau Tau Kok Estate is one of oldest and largest86. public housing projects in HK. Much of the residents87. are either elderly people who live alone or working-class families. • They are still residents and they still live alone so the tenses are correct. • Correct.

14. 88. Since 2001, when the government it formally announced89. a detailed plan for redevelop the surrounding area,90. residents gradually been relocated to new housing estates. • “government” and “it” are the same thing. • Delete “it”.

15. 88. Since 2001, when the government it formally announced89. a detailed plan for redevelop the surrounding area,90. residents gradually been relocated to new housing estates. • What do they plan to do? • Replace “for” with “to”.

16. 88. Since 2001, when the government it formally announced89. a detailed plan for redevelop the surrounding area,90. residents gradually been relocated to new housing estates. • Passive voice is appropriate. • What tense is used with “since”. • What is the passive form of the present perfect? • Add “have” after “residents”.

17. 91. Following two social workers who work to help the residents92. as they deal the difficulties of relocation, this revealing93. documentary film, shot over several months, offered its • You work for your employer. • Work to describes the reason you are working. • Correct.

18. 91. Following two social workers who work to help the residents92. as they deal the difficulties of relocation, this revealing93. documentary film, shot over several months, offered its • What preposition usually follows “deal”? • Add “with” after “deal”.

19. 91. Following two social workers who work to help the residents92. as they deal the difficulties of relocation, this revealing93. documentary film, shot over several months, offered its • The film was shot in the past. • However, you can still watch it. • Replace “offered” with “offers”.

20. 94. audience the glimpse into the lives of impoverished95. old people. The film presents with a fascinating 96. group portrait showing of our parents and grandparents. • This is the first time this glimpse is mentioned. • “Offer a glimpse into …” is an expression. • Replace “the” with “a”.

21. 94. audience the glimpse into the lives of impoverished 95. old people. The film presents with a fascinating96. group portrait showing of our parents and grandparents. • You present something to someone. • Ex.: He presented the prize to the student. • You present someone with something. • Ex.: He presented the student with a prize. • Here, the film presents a group portrait of our parents to the audience. • Delete “with” OR add “us” after “presents.

22. 94. audience the glimpse into the lives of impoverished 95. old people. The film presents with a fascinating 96. group portrait showing of our parents and grandparents. • The film shows our parents and grandparents. • We do not need a preposition after “show”. • Delete “of”.