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Senior Writing. Week of Sept. 16 Focus for this week: Wrap up Unit 1 and take test, finish draft and revise Personal Narrative, Revising techniques. Opening – Write the corrected version of the sentence below.

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Senior writing

Senior Writing

Week of Sept. 16

Focus for this week: Wrap up Unit 1 and take test, finish draft and revise Personal Narrative, Revising techniques

Opening monday

  • Opening – Write the corrected version of the sentence below.

  • Its to bad when it’s the weekend and their are so many things I want to do and only 48 hours too do them, so my dog did not get its bath unless you count walking in the rain.

  • (This is all one sentence – but there are punctuation and word choice issues)

Opening - Monday

Corrected opening

  • It’s below. toobad when it’s the weekend,and theretheirare so many things I want to do and only 48 hours to toodo them, so my dog did not get its bath unless you count walking in the rain.

Corrected Opening


  • Do Lesson 4 – pick up your computer when finished. below.

    • Open up the “About Me” Introduction you typed on Sept. 6

    • Open up the body paragraphs and conclusion

  • Revise Introduction to make it flow and add thesis statement.

    • Consider order

    • Do not repeat info you covered in the body

    • Add thesis at end

  • Look at grammar check as you revise

  • Have draft ready for submission.

  • Check MLA format.

  • Learning Targets:

    • I will consider audience and purpose when combining my introduction, body, and conclusion.


Thesis statements and introductions

  • Thesis Statement below. should identify your career/college plan and specify what you have done to prove this is good option.

  • My love of the outdoors and my family have influenced me to pursue a career as a conservation officer.

  • From my experiences in CTC and my family members who currently work in construction, I have decided I want to study to be an engineer.

  • Introduction – Goal is to introduce YOU – let reader get to know you – and NOT repeat what is in body.

  • Reread introduction

    • Need to “tweak” it – make thesis last sentence

      • Transition – As I am finishing my senior year, I have started thinking about my future. OR Everyone keeps asking me what I am going to do after high school, and I am close to making a decision.”

    • Take out material that is repetitive to body

    • Review goals of introduction

Thesis Statements and Introductions

Composing the rest of the paper

  • Conclusion – Your plan

    • How will you go from where you are now to your career, internship, program, etc.

    • Most will begin something like- As a senior who is about to graduate… or In June, I will be graduating from….

Composing the rest of the paper

When you have finished composing and putting togeth er

  • Print out a copy to use tomorrow and Wednesday. anecdotes, give specific experience, evidence to support your choice. End with statement that ties what you have said to your thesis.

  • Save it somewhere “safe” that you can get to any day you need to this week.

  • Homework – Mastery Review p. 7, Part A.

  • Revised Time Line –

    • Discuss revision process – self and peer.

    • Submission of draft will be Wednesday. – Sept. 18

    • Peer Revision will be Thursday – Sept. 19

    • Final will be submitted on Sept. 23.

When you have finished composing and putting together ….

Tuesday opening

Tuesday - Opening

Tuesday agenda

  • Correct Mastery Review, Do Part B and Correct doing.” Walt Disney

  • Discuss Improving your writing

    • Specific Word Choice

    • Sentence Variety

    • Using Mature Vocabulary

    • Using a Variety of Transitions

    • You will want your handout that has Ten Errors with Transitions on back, your openings with the vocabulary, the hand out on Sentence Variety, and your paper.

Tuesday - Agenda

Improving words

  • Replace general words with specific ones doing.” Walt Disney

    • Things, stuff, went, go, etc., friends, family (unless you have already specified whom you mean)

    • Be clear – school, high school, Mona Shores High School.

    • Up the vocabulary level

Improving words

Sentence variety

  • Changing up how you start sentences doing.” Walt Disney

    • Add clauses at beginning of some sentences

      • Because, Since, While, When, If, During

    • Look at how you start sentences and change it up.

  • How do you combine sentences – is it always, “,and”?

    • Try other conjunctions – for, so, but, nor, or, yet

    • Try conjunctive adverbs – however, nevertheless

    • Check the transitions sheet

Sentence Variety



Ten errors and transitions sheet

Ten Errors and Transitions sheet

Improving writing

  • Improving Writing – Focus on words and sentences doing.” Walt Disney

  • Use “Ten Errors, “Transitions,” “Effective Writing,” and Openings with vocabulary.

  • Review purpose of these items.

  • Take out your paper.

    • Where can you “bump” up the level of your vocabulary?

    • Where can you change up your sentences – varying how you start sentences, varying the transitions you use?

  • Write these changes into your paper.

  • Tomorrow – time to “type” the changes in your paper – but make the plan to do so today.

Improving Writing

Wednesday no opening

  • Mastery Review – the rest of it – up to page 13 is due tomorrow.

  • Pick up computer

    • Make changes, improvements to essay

    • Check MLA format

    • Special request – increase spacing from double

    • Submit to Turnitin to Personal Narrative Draft. If you cannot –get it emailed to me please.

    • Decide who will review your paper and whose paper you will review.

    • This will be open to you until 6 pm tonight. You can actually start peer reviewing tonight if you wish.

  • Please log off and return COW at 12:50

Wednesday – No Opening



Thursday sept 19

  • Opening: Please correct the following. rings

  • The student, who turned in the 3-D project showing a remodel of the hallway, has been nominated to receive an award.

  • Grab your computer as soon as you are finishedand take out your Mastery Review.

  • You may go ahead and log on and log in to Turnitin, but let me give directions before you go further.

Thursday, Sept. 19


  • Correct Mastery Review rings

  • Review rubric for editing

  • Discuss who will read/share other’s paper

  • Peer review

    • Use the rubric and questions

    • Use your transition sheet and vocabulary and ten errors handout

  • Learning Targets

    • I can edit for sufficient use of detail and clarity in another’s paper.

    • I can correctly edit sentences for correctness in punctuation.


Peer review

  • Learning to review is a life skill rings

  • You are providing feedback – try to help this person

  • Keep rubric and peer review questions in mind.

    • You must write a min. answer in each of the spaces – more feedback may be given in the text.

    • Required that you do one and thoroughly – you may read two other people’s with their permission – for extra credit.

    • If 3 people have read yours – please send people elsewhere when they ask.

  • Take your time.

  • Peer feedback will be released at 11:30 pm today – I might up that time – once I see everyone is finished.

  • When you are finished, please print out a clean copy of your draft. You will need this tomorrow.

Peer Review

Introductions body conclusion

  • Goal of Intro – give sense of the person – not repeat what is in body.

  • Body – Each should be a point mentioned in thesis

    • Is it specific? Would someone who did not know this person understand the examples?

    • Does last sentence tie back to thesis.

  • Conclusion – Goal is to explain how person will move towards the thesis statement plan.

Introductions, Body, Conclusion

Friday sept 20 copy quote down for opening
Friday, Sept. 20 what is in body.Copy quote down for Opening


  • Questions on Mastery Review what is in body.

    • Study for Monday.

  • Take out clean copy of your essay.

    • Review comments from peer editors.

    • Look over your submission sheet.

    • Make changes, improvements, revisions to your personal narrative.

  • Submit final to by end of day on Monday.

  • If you have a problem, talk with me – email me your paper.

  • Submission also include filling out your submission sheet. You can work on this as you revise your paper.

    • Print out items requested.

    • Highlight what is asked for – Turnitin will take it that way.

    • You may either turn in to me today or on Monday.

  • Review Unit 1 for Test on Monday.

  • Journal 4


Revision and submission

  • Prepare final

  • Make it something you would be proud to hand to a boss, recruiter, college as an example of your best work.

  • Read directions on submission sheet.

Revision and Submission

Preview of next week

  • Monday – Unit 1 Test what is in body.

  • Be sure Paper is submitted both hard copy materials to me and final copy online

  • Journal 4 (finish), 5, 6.

  • Unit 2 Case and Agreement

  • Collage assignment

Preview of Next Week