What lies behind us, And what lies before us, Are tiny matters compared to What lies within us!

1. What lies behind us, And what lies before us, Are tiny matters compared to What lies within us!

2. Interdependence Independence Dependence Seven Habits Paradigm

3. 4Think Win/Win – The Habit of Mutual Benefit Interdependence Independence Seven Habits Paradigm 4

4. 4Think Win/Win Interdependence Independence Seven Habits Paradigm 5 Seek First to Understand... Then to Be Understood – The Habit of Empathetic Communication 5 4

5. 4Think Win/Win 5 Seek First to Understand... Then to Be Understood 6 Synergize Public Victory Interdependence 6 5 4 Independence Seven Habits Paradigm

6. 4Think Win/Win 5 Seek First to Understand... Then to Be Understood 6 Synergize Public Victory 7 Sharpening the saw Renewal of Energy Interdependence 6 5 4 Independence Seven Habits Paradigm

7. 4. THINK WIN-WIN Emotional Bank Account

8. WITHDRAWALS Angry words Unforgiving Cruel joke Ignoring Excluding DEPOSITS Understanding Apology Attention to little things Keeping commitments Consideration Emotional Bank Account

9. PARADIGM • Ineffective: There is only so much, and the more you get, • the less there is for me. • Effective: There is plenty out there for every-one, and more • to spare. RESULT • Faster solutions to problems • More team involvement • Generosity of spirit • Rich relationships BEHAVIOUR • Balance courage and consideration. • Seek mutual benefit. • Create Win-Win Agreements. • Build win-win systems.

10. Courage and Consideration High CONSIDERATION Low COURAGE High

11. win-win or no deal (abundance mentality; get P and PC) lose-win (you get hard feelings) consideration lose-lose (never pays) win-lose (other person gets hard feeling) courage Habit 4: Think win-win.  Are there times when paradigms others than “win-win” are appropriate?  How do you develop “courage”? “Consideration”? Emotional bank account?  What causes conflict? Tools for conflict resolution? Your “boundaries”?

12. WIN - WIN: “Let’s find a solution that works for both of us.” • Characteristics • Seeks mutual benefit. • Is cooperative, not competitive. • Listens more, stays in communication longer, • and communicates with more courage.

13. WIN-LOSE: “I am going to beat you no matter what.” • Characteristics • Is very common scripting for most people. • Is the authoritarian approach. • Uses position, power, credentials, possessions, • or personality to get the “win”.

14. LOSE_WIN: “I always get stepped on.” • Characteristics • Voices no standards, no demands, no expectations of • anyone else. • Is quick to please or appease. • Buries a lot of feelings.

15. LOSE-LOSE: “If I’m going down, you are going down with me.” • Characteristics • Is the mindset of a highly dependent person. • Is a “no win” because nobody benefits. • Is a long-term result of win-lose or “win.”

16. WIN: “As long as I win, I win, I don’t care if you win or lose.” • Characteristics • Is self-centered. • Thinks “me first.” • Doesn't really care if the other person wins or loses.

17. WIN-WIN OR NO DEAL: “Let’s find a solution that works for both of us, or let’s not play. • Characteristics • Allows each party to say no. • Is the most realistic at the beginning of a relationship • or business deal. • Is the highest form of win-win.

18. CREATE WIN-WIN AGREEMENTS Elements of an effective Win-Win Agreement: End of Habit 4

19. 5. SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN BE UNDERSTOOD

20. Listening • Ignoring • Pretend listening • Selective listening • Attentive listening Your own frame of reference • Empathetic listening Within the other person’s frame of reference

21. Listening Don’t jump to conclusions!

22. PARADIGM • Ineffective: I listen with the intent to reply. • Effective: I listen with the intent to understand. • RESULT • Greater influence with others • Solutions to complex problems • Clarity on real issues • Faster problem solving • BEHAVIOR • Diagnose Before You Prescribe. • Listen empathically. • Seek to be understood from the other’s • perspective.

23. READING THE SIGNS Words we use 7% How we say words, Tone of voice, style 38%

24. Watch the Signals Stop talking and listen empathically when: • There is high emotion. • You must get to the heart of an issue. • You feel you don’t understand. • The other person doesn’t feel understood. Slow down. Watch and be ready to listen empathically • Go forward and seek to be understood when: • The issue is clear and mutually understood. • the conversation is casual and unemotional. • You are asked to give counsel or advice.

25. THE ELEMENTS OF EMPATHIC LISTENING Empathic Listening is reflecting what a person feels and says in your own words. You feel Angry, frustrated, excited, sad, irritated, ignored, misunderstood, happy, nervous, hesitant, embarrassed, foolish, upset, discouraged, stifled, disrespected, emotional, confused, speechless, unsure, enthusiastic About Content, topic, or meaning of what is being said. End of Habit 5

26. 6. SYNERGIZE If two people have the same opinion, one is unnecessary

27. SYNERGIZE • PARADIGM • Ineffective: It’s either your way or my way, or a compromise. • Effective: Together we can create a better way, a higher way. • RESULT • Innovation and invention • New and better solutions • Transformed relationships • Appreciation of diverse perspectives • BEHAVIOR • Value and celebrate the differences. • Practice creative cooperation

28. WHAT IS SYNERGIZING? Synergizing is a process of interacting that highly effective people use to get to synergy, or the Third Alternative

29. PRACTICE CREATIVE COOPERATION CHECK WILLINGNESS (Habit 4) When you face a problem or an opportunity, start the Getting to Synergy process by asking the other party, ”Would you be willing to search for a solution that is better than what either of us has in mind?” REFLECT VIEWPOINTS (Habit 5) As you continue the process of Getting to Synergy, ask the other party, “Would you agree to a simple ground rule: I can’t make my point until I restate yours to your satisfaction; you can’t make your point until you restate mine to my satisfaction?” CREATE NEW IDEAS (Habit 6) Once you feel you have achieved a solid level of mutual understanding, propose and refine alternatives: a new insight, a model, a plan of action, or a prototype. Keep refining, creating, and going back for further understanding until you have arrived at a Third Alternative End of Habit 6

30. 7. SHARPEN THE SAW

31. Social Spiritual Mental Physical Habit 7: Sharpen the saw.  When will YOU sharpen your saw?  What measures will you use in each category?

32. Recharge Your Batteries • Physical • Exercise, nutrition, stress management • Avoid Quadrant III activities – get out of urgency trap • Emotional – Social • Relationships, service, empathy, security • Consistent deposits to be made in the EBAs of key relationships • Mental • Reading, planning, visualizing, writing • Spiritual • Values, commitment, study, meditation, inspiring literature, admiring nature

33. SHARPEN THE SAW • PARADIGM • Ineffective: I focus only on getting the golden eggs. • Effective: I nurture the goose that lays the golden eggs. • RESULT • Improved capacity • Stronger relationships • Greater reserves • Continuous improvement • BEHAVIOR • Renew regularly in the four dimensions. • Be strong in the hard moments.

34. 7 Sharpen saw Interdependence Understand 5 Synergize 6 PUBLIC VICTORY Think win-win 4 Independence 3 1st things 1st PRIVATE VICTORY 1 Be Proactive 2 End in mind Dependence The 7 Habits ... a Summary habit = knowledge + skill + desire

35. “Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit” Aristotle End