REWARDS WRITING:. Sentence Refinement. Anita Archer, Ph.D. Mary Gleason, Ph.D. Steve Isaacson, Ph.D. Published by Sopris West Go to www.rewardsreading.com or www.sopriswest.com. REWARDS WRITING: Sentence Refinement. Multi-module writing program Intermediate and Secondary Students
Mary Gleason, Ph.D.
Steve Isaacson, Ph.D.
Published by Sopris West
Go to www.rewardsreading.com or
Students will be assisted in:
1. selecting more precise, interesting words, (Word choice)
2. improving the quality, sophistication, and variety of their sentences, and
3. editing sentences and paragraphs.
My father and I wanted to go fishing. We went to the campgrounds. We put up a tent. We put out our sleeping bags. We set up a camp kitchen. Then we went fishing. We fished every day. I caught 11 trout. My father caught 24 trout. It was a good trip.
Little variety in sentence length or complexity, good deal of repetition, limited word choice.
For several years, my father and I had dreamed of fishing together. In August, we traveled to the Cascade Mountains to fulfill our dream. My father reserved a campsite at a beautiful, secluded lake. When we arrived at our spot, we quickly assembled a small pup tent, spread out our warm down sleeping bags, and fashioned a temporary outdoor kitchen. When we finished creating our camp, we headed for the lake with our sturdy fishing poles. By the end of the week, I caught 11 humongous trout by using marshmallows for bait. My father is an experienced fisherman, so he caught 24 trout that week. The highlights of the trip were spending a whole week in the mountains with my father and catching my first trout.
Better word choice, additional information, sentences combined, more sophisticated sentences.
Three major strands:
1. Sharpening Your Word Choices
2. Polishing Your Sentences
3. Editing Your Paragraph
Students select words that are more precise, grammatically correct, and more interesting by using the Word Choice Help Book.
Students edit sentences by replacing common, overused adjectives.
nice, big, bad, pretty, hot, little, smart, cold, good, happy, terrible, funny, dirty, wonderful, scared, sad, old, clean, mean, hard
Students edit sentences by replacing common, overused verbs.
made, liked, walked, ran, ate, took, grew, got, went, saw, knew, used, gave, let, said, had, lived, talked, found, stayed, wanted, put, helped, build, thought
Students will also:
Students will polish sentences:
(Graham & Perin, 2007)
(Evans, Venotozzi, Bundrick, & McWilliams, 1988; Howie, 1979; Kanellas, Carifio & Dagostino, 1998; Pedersen, 1977; Saddler & Graham, 2005; Stoddard, 1982)
Start: Linda grabbed a seat.
Add: Bobby grabbed a seat.
Add: The seats were adjoining.
Add: The seats were on the bus.
Add: The bus was crowded.
Start: As the cubs grow fur, they spend periods of time outside the den.
Add: The fur is thicker.
Add: The periods of time are short.
Add: The den is warm.
Add: The den is protective.
Start: Jared will finish shopping for school supplies.
Add: He will shop this afternoon.
Add: He will shop at the mall.
Start: Everyone ate birthday cake.
Add: The birthday cake was chocolate.
Add: Everyone ate vanilla ice cream.
Add: Everyone ate candy.
Start: Porcupine caribou are large mammals.
Add: Porcupine caribou are hoofed mammals.
Add: They live in northern Canada.
Add: They live in eastern Alaska.
(Use that to make one sentence.)
Goal -- Students will edit paragraphs by using a strategy called SCORE.
S = Sound good? (Does your paragraph sound good? Do your sentences sound good?)
C = Combine? (Could you combine sentences into one sentence so that the paragraph is more interesting and has fewer repeated words?)
O = Omit? (Could you omit words, phrases, or sentences because they don’t go with the topic or add to the quality of your paragraph?)
R = Replace? (Could you replace overused words, less precise words, or grammatically incorrect words?)
E = Expand? (Could you create more complete, interesting sentences by answering some of the following questions in: when, where why, and how?)