Hilarious Husband Wife Joke

1. Husband wife jokes

2. Short Husband Wife Jokes 1. Nothing makes a little knowledge so dangerous as thinking your wife doesn’t have it. 2. Overheard an auction sale: “Sold to the lady with her husband’s hand over her mouth.” 3. When the man displays the strength of character in his home, it’s called stubbornness. 4. “Many men disappear because they know they are not wanted. And others because they know they are.” 5. Husband (to his wife trying on a new hat): “Of course, you can buy it, dear. I like that middle-aged look it gives you.”

3. Long Husband Wife Jokes 1. “How can you talk to me like that,” she wailed, “after I’ve given you the best years of my life?” “Yeah?” returned the husband. “And who made them the best years of your life?” 2. Maid: “Your husband ma’am is lying unconscious in the hall with a piece of paper in his hand and a large box by his side!” Mrs. Green (joyfully): “Oh, then my new hat has arrived!” 3. A woman tourist in Greece rented a car and drove out to one of the ancient temples crumbling under the centuries. Posing near one huge fallen column, she asked a fellow tourist to take a snapshot. “Don’t get the car in the picture,” she said, “or my husband will think I knocked this place down.” 4. A man appeared in a newspaper office to place an ad offering $100 for the return of his wife’s cat. “That’s an awfully high price for a cat,” the clerk suggested. “Not for this one,” said the man, “I drowned it.”

4. More Husband and wife Jokes 1. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. 2. A husband is a living proof that a wife can take a joke. 3. My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four policemen and a dog. 4. Wife: “I mended that hole in your pocket last night after you’d gone to bed, dear. Now, I ask you, am I not a thoughtful little wife?” Husband: “Well, yes, you’re thoughtful enough, but, tell me, dear, how did you discover there was a hole in my pocket?”

5. Conversation between husband and wife A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over at him and asks the question....WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"HUSBAND: "Of course I do."WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again. "WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed. "WIFE: -- silence --HUSBAND: "sheet.."

7. List of Husband Tag Questions • What is your favorite time spending habit? • What is my least favorite food? • What is my least favorite drink? • Am I good at any sport? • Am I good in video games? • Is there any unique talent that I possess? • Do I have a best friend? • Who is my favorite music artist? • What shoe size do I wear? • What would be 1 meal I could eat every day? • If I am watching TV, what am I most likely watching?

8. Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.

9. CONCLUSION After spending time with my Father on sunday today, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need a day to myself. I’ll call it sonday. Thanks and Regards Husband and Wife Jokes

10. THANK YOU