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If Football Clubs were Women

If Football Clubs were Women. Fulham = Charlotte Church. Proof that money can't buy you class but could look more attractive if the Welsh bloke was given the elbow. Birmingham = Pamela Anderson.

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If Football Clubs were Women

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  1. If Football Clubs were Women

  2. Fulham = Charlotte Church • Proof that moneycan't buy you classbut could look more attractive if the Welsh bloke was given the elbow.

  3. Birmingham = Pamela Anderson • Used to look good in the cups but now a declining force.Plus millions of people watched them get a good seeing to.

  4. Wigan =Davina McCall • Poor attendances confirm they'vebeen promotedabove their ability.

  5. Portsmouth = Girls Aloud • Only one real class act among the hastily assembled line-up.You shouldn't like them but admit it, you've sneaked the occasional admiring glance.

  6. Sunderland = Kerry Katona • Once the people's favourite but now an embarrassment. Fun while it lasted - now disappear from where you came, please.

  7. Spurs =Keira Knightley • Undeniably easy on the eye with an attractive English spine and proof that two little ones up front needn't be a drawback.

  8. Everton =Dannii Minogue • The poor relation to themore glamorous sibling.Can anyone remember when it was they were supposed to beany good?

  9. Arsenal = Jordan • Were more likeablewhen they weren'tpacked out withexpensive foreign implants.

  10. Newcastle =Jodie Marsh • Impressive front two but embarrassing at the back. Had surgery but need a lot more work tocompete at a higher level.

  11. Aston Villa =Dido • Bland, boring and still trading off the one big hit they had years ago.

  12. Liverpool =SophieEllis-Bextor • Individually all the components look greatbut stick them togetherand it just doesn't work.

  13. Chelsea =Rachel Stevens • You'd rather just watch them than listen to allthat painful whining.

  14. West Ham =Vicky Pollard • Nothing more needs saying as a teams fans speak for themselves - Chavs in Chavs clothing.

  15. Bolton =Clare Balding • You wouldn't.Not even if theywere the last teamon earth.

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