Praise CFCF and Head Start Parent Meeting Tuesday July 16, 2013
Questions What is the relationship between how children think of themselves and their willingness to accept challenges or risk failure? What is the relationship between how children think of themselves and the kinds of goals they set for themselves?
Praise Explained It would seem logical that children who grow up in families where their best is appreciated would be more likely to feel good about themselves and more likely to be able to cope with challenges and set higher goals for themselves. Why???
Praise Explained • “There is no value judgment more important to man, no factor more decisive in his psychological development and motivation than the esteem he passes on himself. The nature of his self-evaluation has profound effects on a man’s thinking processes, emotions, desires, values, and goals. It is the single most significant key to his behavior.” • -Nathanial Branden
How do we enhance self-esteem? • Reflect on previous chapters • Helping children deal with their feelings • Engaging cooperation • Encouraging Autonomy
How do we enhance self-esteeem? • Praise seems to be the next logical step in building self-esteem • Helpful praise comes in two parts: • 1. The adult describes with appreciation what he or she sees or feels • 2. The child, after hearing the description, is then able to praise himself • Example: Child brings a drawing him and asks if you like it, instead of saying yes describe the drawing and ask they how they came up with that idea. Allow them to process.
How do we enhance self-esteem? • Practice: • Child dresses herself for the first time. She stands in front of you, hoping you’ll notice. Praise unhelpfully. Praise by describing in detail what you see or feel. What might the child say to herself? • You have been invited to see your child in a school play. Afterwards they ask if they were good. Praise unhelpfully. Praise by describing in detail what you saw or felt. What might the child say to herself?
Assignment A quality I like about my child….. Something he or she has done recently that I appreciated but never mentioned is…. What could I say to show my appreciation to him or her using the skills of descriptive praise….
Reminders about praise • Make sure your praise is appropriate to your child’s age, level, and ability • Avoids the kind of praise that hints at past weaknesses or past failures • Be aware that excessive enthusiasm can interfere with a child’s desire to accomplish for herself. • Sometimes continual excitement can be experienced as pressure to perform • Be prepared for a lot of repetition of the same activity when you describe what your child is doing positively • Praise invites repetition so we would discourage praise for unwanted behaviors such as you can sure climb that ladder well