Influencing skills
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Influencing Skills. Challenges/Confrontation-3 Steps. Recognize the incongruity Present it to the cx On the one hand… Evaluate the effect: how did the cx respond? (see box 9-3) Write down a challenge response for the following statements:. Some examples.

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Challenges/Confrontation-3 Steps

  • Recognize the incongruity

  • Present it to the cx

    • On the one hand…

  • Evaluate the effect: how did the cx respond? (see box 9-3)

    Write down a challenge response for the following statements:

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Some examples

Cx: I have good genes…my grandma ate whatever she wanted and lived to 98…I’m not worried about my cholesterol level.

Cx: No friendship is perfect. Sometimes her criticism hurts my feelings, but that’s just how she is. I’m not going to take it personally.

Cx: I can always study more, but this teacher just doesn’t like me…it’s not really worth putting more time into because he’s not fair and picks on me.

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  • Denial

  • Partial examination

  • Acceptance and recognition without change

  • Generation of a new solution

  • Development of new, larger, more inclusive patterns, beliefs, thoughts, behaviors

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What questions/observation re: ch. 12 do you have?

How are influencing skills different than the basic listening sequence?

  • We are adding something in.

  • We are taking a risk.

  • We are leading the client, rather than following.

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Reflection of Meaning & Interpretation/Reframing

  • Purposes:

    • Identify and explore the deeper meaning

    • Reframe to open up possibilities

    • Identify a pattern

    • Make connections between thoughts, feelings, behaviors and consequences

      2. What is the meaning behind client words?

    • I can’t go on like this…I can’t take it anymore.

    • He’s been my friends since 2nd grade…I can’t just stop hanging out with him!

    • Examples from your role plays?

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  • Considerations

    • Interpretation is typically used to gain insight.

    • How you view the world significantly impacts your use of these skills.

    • Genuineness is important in reframing.

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Self disclosure

  • Why self disclose?

    • To build rapport, gain trust

    • To normalize client experience

    • To break through denial/defense mechanisms

    • The client asked for information

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If they asked…

2. Why did they ask?

  • To see if you’re trustworthy?

  • To see if they’re “normal?”

  • To distract?

  • To know you personally?

  • To prove you can’t help them?

  • To problem solve?

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How to answer…

3. Genuinely and honestly

  • Be intentional

  • Share as much as you’re comfortable with

  • Acknowledge client’s interest and explore the meaning of their interest

  • Share how I feel about the request (immediacy)

  • Notice the client reaction/response

  • Be brief and refocus on the client

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Why not answer?

4. When…

  • You have a current/unresolved issue

  • The cx is easily distracted from him/herself

  • You’re uncomfortable with it

  • The cx wants to have a more personal relationship with you

  • The cx may use it destructively, e.g. to invalidate you, disrupt a group dynamic, etc.

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Counselor-initiated self-disclosure

  • When…

    • it is likely to benefit the client.

    • you know why you are self-disclosing

    • it helps the cx see things differently

    • it heightens cx awareness (immediacy)

      Write a true or false statement about the use of self-disclosure.

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Role Playing

  • In your dyads, you are meeting the cx for the next session.

  • Focus in on one or two issues

  • Notice statements with vague meaning.

  • Explore the meaning.

  • Use reframing or interpretation as relevant.


  • Practice using self-disclosure-client may ask for personal info or you initiate intentionally.

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Giving Feedback

  • What is involved?

    • Giving clear and accurate information about the client to the client.

  • What works?

    • Client is in charge

    • Positive assets/strengths

    • Specific example

    • In the moment/immediacy

    • Lean

    • Nonjudgmental

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  • Why give feedback?

    • A reality check

    • Challenge denial

    • Reinforce progress

    • Promote positive change

    • Provide clarity of expectations

  • Quick demo

    • 5 minute fish bowl role play

    • Observers: look for feedback to give the client or feedback to the student counselor.

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Information, Psychoeducation and Directives

  • What are these skills? Providing information, teaching skills, explaining ideas, advising, etc.

  • Use when:

    • cx wants the info.

    • the process of “figuring it out” isn’t important.

    • you understand the situation/need/context.

  • How to use effectively

    • Listen and understand

    • Be concrete and specific

    • Check it out: What do you think about that?

    • Observe cx’s response, including nonverbals

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An Example: Stress Management

  • Effects of Stress

  • Sources of Stress

  • Coping Strategies

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Relaxation Exercises


    • Progressive Relaxation

    • Imagery