Relating to Others

1. Relating to Others

2. Relating to Others • People who value themselves, because they are confident and happy, attract other people into friendships. • A person’s friendships can form into strong support systems. • A support system-A network of individuals or groups with which one identifies and exchanges emotional support, which can be a great help in times of need. • A mentor- is a wise person who gives advice and assistance when needed.

3. Dealing with Conflicts • Conflict- a struggle or opposition between people, especially when people compete for something in the belief that only one can have what he or she wants, at the expense of the other. • Small situations are settled without much fuss. Example: Bumping into someone down the hall. • Sometimes conflicts can occur from just that. The difference lies in how people react to the problem.

4. Dealing with Conflicts • Violence- A brutal physical force intended to damage or injure another. While it is important to remain calm and try and avoid a conflict if possible if you ignore the conflict it may become worse. • Feud- A bitter continuing hostility often involving groups of people. • The Hatfields and McCoys lived on opposite banks of the river that separates eastern Kentucky and West Virginia. It is believed that a theft of a hog may have caused it. What it did lead to was a very costly and deadly war between the families that consumed and ravaged their families, counties, and states. Eventually the US Supreme Court finally had to come in and settle after 40 years!! • Working on your conflict and communicating is important to try and settle the conflict and to prevent someone from getting hurt.

5. Viewing your Enemy • At some point during a conflict you stop viewing the person as just another person and now they become the enemy. • The Hatfields were missing a pig and someone said they saw an extra pig on the McCoy’s land and that is how the shooting started. • Problems quickly multiply. People embroiled in a conflict stop communicating. Soon they hate one another on vague, and general principles. • Now people are forced to pick sides and more people are forced to become involved and this is where violence comes into play. • Tolerance- Accommodation and acceptance of differences between oneself and others. • That may never happen if people don’t stop and talk and try and communicate with one another.

6. Strategies for Resolving Conflicts • Conflicts if handled correctly can end constructively. People who resolve their conflicts are motivated to make things better. • With the right attitude people can break down barriers and create more trust, which is essential for resolving conflicts. • Desire a Resolution- Have a genuine desire to solve the problem.

7. Strategies for Resolving Conflicts • Strive for a win-win Outcome- Know if that if each person helps meet the other’s needs, everyone’s needs can be satisfied. • Honor the Relationship- Desire to maintain or improve the friendship, partnership, or community. • Be Flexible but Firm- Be flexible on how needs are met; be firm that one’s needs will be met. • Be Sincerely Apologetic- When appropriate. • Show Courage- Have courage to face the problems even while feeling threatened or afraid of hurting other’s feelings. • Be Open-minded- Be willing to brainstorm and listen to all ideas for new solutions, even if the ideas are later discarded.

8. Assertive, Not Aggressive • Communication- a two-way exchange of ideas or thoughts. You have to perform a balancing act between getting what you want and meeting the needs of others. • The happy center between the extremes of never speaking out and verbally attacking others is called assertive behavior. • Assertive- possess the characteristic of appropriately expressing feelings, wants, and needs while respecting those of others. • Passive behavior is not expressing feelings appropriately. • Aggressive behavior is to be overly demanding of other and confrontational.

9. Forming New Relationships • Some people may fear trying to make new friends. Reaching out to other people usually does not lead to rejection. To get started, though you have to be willing to risk rejection and handle it if it occurs. • S-Smile • O-Open posture • F-Forward lean • T-Touch • E-Eye contact • N-Nod

10. Making Decisions • When making a decision, using a good strategy like Help may prove beneficial. • Healthful- Does this choice present any health risks? • Ethical- Does this choice reflect your personal values? • Legal- Does this choice violate local, state, or federal laws? • Parental Approval- Would this choice be approved by your parents or guardians? • Name the problem: Pinpointing what to wear is very easy to fix. Relationships problems may take years to fix and work through because they can be very complex. • First step is to put the problem into words and then start to work on the solution.

11. Decision Making Process • Describe the Problem’s Parts- Breaking problems into parts will make it more manageable. Usually you will start off with the smaller components of the problem and work your way to the larger components. • If an emotion you are on starts to fill you with resentment and anger you may to re-evaluate the part you are working and either come back to it or work with someone you trust to help you through it. • Brainstorm- Involves thinking up many different solutions to the problem. During this step don’t try and solve the problem but come up with creative and fun solutions to it that may make it enjoyable for you. With all of these solutions right them down because they can either be used or combined with other ideas and that will make the solution that much better.

12. Decision Making Process • Think about each solution- In thinking about each solution, judge it based on your own values and emotions. Imagine and list probable outcomes that can be both positive or negative. Compare the ideas and rank them best to worst. Also consider the practicality of each solution. • Choose a Solution and Act on it: Once you have though all possible solutions out, you can pick one that fits your values and personal circumstances. Evaluate the solution. • Did you receive the results that you expected? • How did the solution fit with your values and beliefs? • Did the Solution fail to meet your needs? • Evaluate the Outcome: If the idea worked you can keep it and if it didn’t work you can go back and completely change it or just modify it just a little bit.

13. Finding a Place in Society • Your society may consist of the community you live in, school, ethnic or religious groups, and other groups as well. • Societies have sets of values and expectations that they impose on their members. • Our society has held values devoted to action and achievement in high regard. • In our society and many others there are no laws that say other must conform to the values of the majority, but those who don’t are looked down upon and may lose support and approval. • Alienation-is withdrawing from others because of differences that cannot be resolved. • Ostracism-is the rejection and exclusion from society. • Nonconformist- a person who does not share society’s values and therefore behaves in unconventional ways.