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Traumaversaries: Lessoning the Impact of Adopted Children’s Annual Triggers

Traumaversaries: Lessoning the Impact of Adopted Children’s Annual Triggers. Traumaversaries. Anniversaries, “returning yearly”, associated with happy events for many of us.

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Traumaversaries: Lessoning the Impact of Adopted Children’s Annual Triggers

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  1. Traumaversaries: Lessoning the Impact of Adopted Children’s Annual Triggers

  2. Traumaversaries • Anniversaries, “returning yearly”, associated with happy events for many of us. • Yet, for those who have experienced trauma, these traumaversaries can lend to a downward spiral —emotionally and behaviorally.

  3. Traumaversaries Triggers are identifiable situations or events that can create emotional upheaval.

  4. Traumaversaries Triggers may be, • Explicit • Implicit

  5. Traumaversaries A Bit about the Brain Really? The Brain? Absolutely!

  6. Traumaversaries Implicit Memory System • Stores emotions, sensory experiences (sounds, smells, etc.), and expectations and assumptions about relationships based on prior experiences. • Implicit memories form early in life—prenatally, infancy, young toddlerhood—prior to the individual having language. • They cannot be recalled but they can be triggered (Briere & Scott, 2006). • Once triggered, the emotional response can be as strong as when the original event was occurring.

  7. Traumaversaries What implicit memories were stored as a result of these experiences?

  8. Traumaversaries Triggers Abound….

  9. Triggers, Triggers and More Triggers: Adoptee • Mother’s/Father’s Day • Birthdays • Holidays • Gotcha Day • Anniversary of removal from birth family • Illness or death of adoptive parent • Divorce • School-related projects and classes • Airplane rides • Visits with birth siblings • Birth or adoption of a child • Kindergarten or first grade • Beginning and end of each school year • Puberty • Questions/comments from strangers

  10. Triggers, Triggers and More Triggers: Parents Child arrives with unresolved emotions Child acts out behaviorally Parents’ own unresolved issues are triggered. Child and parent engage in negative emotional interactions.A Negative Emotional Climate is Created

  11. Triggers, Triggers and More Triggers: Siblings Typically-Developing Siblings • I want to “unadopt” him. • He is so hard to play with. • I wanted to teach her things. • I’m the one that wanted a brother or sister. • You’re adopted and I’m not. • You look different. You’re not even from America. • If I’m not good will I have to move? • I hate being told that I have to set the example. • I am tired of babysitting. • Why wasn’t I enough for Mom and Dad? • Adoptee • Can you really want me as a brother or sister? • I wish my brothers and sisters would play with me the way they play with each other. • My brothers and sisters are so lucky to live together. I want to live with my birth siblings. • I look different from everybody in my family. • They are having friends over again. • They are going out with their friends again. • They act so “perfect.” • Mom and Dad love them more because they were born to them. • My brothers and sisters get more, and get to do more, than I do.

  12. Triggers, Triggers and More Triggers: Siblings • “You’re adopted and I’m not.” The anger could be rooted in the changes that have occurred in the family. Or the resident child may be angry that her adopted brother was in her room for the hundredth time! The negative behavior is a reminder that, “I had more privacy before you came.” The feelings of being robbed are compounded by the loss of the family as it was. • "Can you really want me as a brother or sister?" Just as the adoptee wonders how his adoptive parents can want him when his own birth parents didn’t, he perceives he is unlovable to his new brothers and sisters. • “They are so lucky to live together.” The adoptee’s grief for the birth siblings living elsewhere is triggered by observing brothers and sisters in the adoptive family. • “I asked for a brother or sister.” It is my fault that Mom and Dad aren’t as happy as they used to be? • “You look different. You’re not even from America.” I look at you and “see” that our family is different. I long for the old family. I am tired of people looking at us when we are out in public. I hate it when people ask me, “Is that your sister?”

  13. Traumaversaries: Solutions • Identify the Traumaversaries to as great a degree as possible • Record in datebook or on calendar • Make a Timeline

  14. Traumaversaries: Solutions • Recognize the connection between Traumaversaries and negative behaviors • Traumatized children have limited verbal ability • Again, much trauma occurs pre-verbally • Children are often offered little opportunity to process their trauma

  15. Traumaversaries: Solutions Displacement of Emotions Today “No” Past Trauma

  16. Traumaversaries: Solutions • Expect Regression! • Children — stressed — return to earlier developmental periods/stages. • They especially return to the social and emotional age at which the trauma occurred.

  17. Research Vineland Adaptive Behavioral Scales

  18. Research Communication Domain • Receptive • Expressive • Written Daily Living Skills Domain • Personal • Domestic • Community The Vineland Measures Development… Socialization Domain • Interpersonal Relationships • Play and Leisure Time • Coping Skills Motor Skills Domain • Gross • Fine • Behavior • Internalizing • Externalizing

  19. Chronological Age 11 years, 10 months 5 years, 7 months Communication • Receptive 3 years, 11 months 4 years, 6 months • Expressive 7 years, 6 months 6 years, 4 months • Written 10 years, 10 months 9 years, 9 months Daily Living Skills • Personal 6 years, 7 months 5 years, 1 months • Domestic 8 years, 7 months 5 years, 6 months • Community 9 years, 1 month 7 years, 6 months Socialization • Interpersonal Relationships 4 years, 6 months 2 years, 5 months • Play and Leisure Time 7 years, 6 months 5 years, 8 months • Coping Skills 5 years, 6 months 4 years, 7 months Motor Skills Domain • Gross age equivalent age equivalent • Fine age equivalent age equivalent Behavior • Internalizing Clinically Significant Clinically Significant • Externalizing Elevated Elevated

  20. Traumaversaries: Solutions • Trigger Management — Talk About “It” • Begin about two weeks before the Traumaversary • Try the “ripple effect” • Establish rituals

  21. Traumaversaries: Solutions • Psychoeducation

  22. Traumaversaries: Solutions • Respite • Planned vs. Emergency

  23. Questions and Comments

  24. Books by the Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio

  25. Arleta James, PCC Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio 12608 State Road Suite 1 Cleveland, OH 44133 440-230-1960, ext. 4 arletajames@gmail.com Visit my website www.arletajames.com

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