Qualifications in Marriage . Qualifications in general . For a successful marriage it is very important to have the following compatibilities: Age Education Culture Profession Piety. People differ in charactersitics. Having certain characteristics do make marriages easier: Calmness
For a successful marriage it is very important to have the following compatibilities:
Having certain characteristics do make marriages easier:
Listens before talking
Scholars speak of marriage qualifications when discussing who suits the women, not who suits the man from women.
Are we obligated to consider qualifications?
Marriage in general is based on mutual consent, which includes these qualifications.
And qualifications differ based on culture and environment, and is left for people to set its place.
They said the least Islam considered was piety, all the rest is left for people to consider and seek.
What Islam is against is considering other qualifications over piety, such as degree over piety.
Mutual equivalency in qualifications is left for people to consider
The wife of ثابت بن قيس بن شماس came to the prophet peace be upon him and said: “oh prophet of Allah, I do not complain of ثابت بن قيس in behavior or piety, yet I fear to be as a kafir in my Islamhood life. The prophet peace be upon him then said: “will you return his garden to him, she said: Yes! The prophet peace be upon him then said: accept her garden, and divorce her once.” in another narration she said: “I cannot stand him”.
In another narration: حبيبة بنت سهل was married to ثابت بن قيسand he was an ugly man, she said: if it wasn’t for fearing Allah, when he came to me, I would have spit in his face.”
A virgin woman came to the prophet peace be upon him, and complained that her father got her married to a man she hated, and the prophet peace be upon him gave her the right to choose. رواه أحمد وأبو داود وابن ماجة والدارقطني
A woman came to the prophet peace be upon him, and said: my father has gotten me married to his nephew to uplift his triviality . The prophet peace be upon him, then gave her the full power of attorney to herself, and she said: I have given consent to what my father had done, but I wanted women to know that they fathers do not have the right to force them”.
فاطمة بنت قيس came asking the prophet peace be upon him for advice for several men that came to ask for her hand in marriage and they were: معاوية، أبو جهم، أسامة بن زيد. The prophet peace be upon him said: معاويةis empty handed, and is with no money. Abu Jahm beats women. Go for Osama.
There is no contradiction between saying that these qualifications are based on mutual agreement, or that they to be there in a valid marriage contract.
Peoples lives changes, and its left for them to look for what makes a more successful and more comfortable life for them.
People have different habits and behaviors.
People vary in their manners, cultures..etc..
Life styles change and people may require new things based on the situation change.
In the end, if both sides agree on each other, that’s the most important thing that matters. A waliy’s rejection will be evaluated by the judge or court to make sure it is for the girls benefit.
Majority of the scholars do not give the woman the right to personally choose and get married by herself, and gave the woman the right to object the marriage if her waliytakes advantage of her.
Therefore, no marriage can take place without her consent.
She can choose the person she is interested in, and get married through her waliy. If the waliy rejects, the reason is researched. If the reason is valid, the contract will not take place. If the reason is not valid, the judge will have the marriage done despite the waliy’s disapproval.
The most important qualifications that scholars have considered are: progeny, piety, job, freedom (not slave), free from any cripples, wealth.
Some scholars add: knowledge, beauty.
Scholars have said: a Muslim should not support any innovators innovation, and therefore marriage and dealing with them is part of support.
IbnTaymiya said: the plain Shia are astray, and a Muslim man should not have his daughter married to a Shia, if a man marries a Shia, the marriage is valid, if there was hope that she would repent, and its best to leave getting married to them.”مجموع الفتاوى 32/ 61
Scholars from Shafi’e, Hanbaliconsiderd certain ethnicities such as Arabs, Persians..etc as of a higher progeny. But this really has no evidence and is based on culture. Which is why the Maliki scholars have denied all that and considered it depends on piety.
What is important is piety, and any ethnical preference has no evidence, as in the ayah يا أيهاالناس إن خلقناكم من ذكر وأنثى وجعلناكم شعوبا وقبائل لتعارفوا إن أكرمكم عند الله أتقاكم
Hanafis do consider, wealth as an important factor in qualifications.
Majority of scholars do not consider wealth, since it doesn’t necessarily always last.
Yet, the scholars that considered it, depended on the hadith that the prophet peace be upon him had told فاطمة بنت قيس not to marry معاوية due to his poverty.
Those that have considered wealth to be part of the qualifications, also differed in the amount, should it be capability to pay the dowry, or live a wealthy life.
They then split wealth into categories, poor, middle, rich.
This matter was dependent on culture, which is why they discussed its details based on their life matter.
The details they used to consider were the jobs that were considered low class jobs or middle class jobs, or high class jobs.
Its left for culture.