How to develop Self-Empowerment in young players

1. How to develop Self-Empowerment in young players Brendan Harpur

2. Format of Presentation • Empowerment versus “Self Doubt” • Developmental stages of the young player • Influence of the Coach • Some guidelines for coaches

3. Self Belief versus Self Doubt VERSUS

4. Self Doubt • I am no good at this • I might make a mistake • I’ll never learn • I must be stupid • I might get it wrong • I am scared • What will others think • I could never do that

5. Definition of Empowerment Empowerment is a description of a continuous learning process where an individual deals appropriately with any situation in the following manner: • Decides to make him/herself aware of their capabilities (skill, knowledge and attitudes) and what is appropriate in any situation they encounter. • Decides to be aware if their response was appropriate. • Decides what they need to learn from this experience. • Decides to action their decision to learn. • Implements the action. • Decides to be aware of what they are learning and how they are learning it. • An individual who increasingly decides to go through this learning process is in my opinion a ‘personally empowered person.’

6. Stages of Development • 4-6 • Just coming out of the stage ‘I can do it all myself’. Difference can be between race, gender with awareness and acceptance. Sibling rivalry is strong. Thinking is concrete, magical, timeless, • 6-10 • Here there is increase in thinking for themselves and adjusting to groups, a rapid acquisition of skills, i.e.’ the golden age of learning’ More open to a sense of a need to learn • 10-12/13 • Surge in confidence. Can move into love/hate situations black and white world. A mixture of rivalry and identification with parents. Not sure of identity despite protests to contrary. Embarrassment more accurately fits.

7. Children Need • Stimulation • The stimulation they get from T.V., play stations, coke and crisps is short lived and useless. They need to engage with their environment with their friends, they need to participate. • Attention • Every child needs the attention to become mature healthy adults They need to hear their name, and get positive feedback after their effort. Attention needs to be personal and genuine. • Competition • Once a skill is learned, it must be tested. Children need competition but not on adult form. Small sided games, first to ten, how many in a minute, first to 7 in a row etc. Competition must always be fair. • Studies from America show that only 3 out of every 10 are having these needs met. They are not getting the nurturing attention that they need to grow into mature adults. • Children need a coach who will give them proper nurturing attention at every training session.

8. Self Image – Self Concept • A child’s mind is full of questions. • The greatest of these is ‘Who am I’, ‘What kind of person am I’ and ‘Where do I fit in?’ • Because of this, the child’s mind is remarkably affected by statements for others that begin with ‘You are’ • For one it is ‘you are so good at...’ for another ‘you are so lazy and useless’. • These statements from ‘big’ people go straight into the child’s unconsciousness. • From there, they affect the persons self image for the rest of their lives. • Adults are hypnotising children from the earliest age, so we better do it well.

10. ‘The Dog Whisperer’ Ceasar Milan • Dogs and children pick up on the energy of their adults and their behaviour reflects the adults state of mind. • His aim is that the dog should be happy. For this to happen the owner must be calm and assertive. • When the coach is calm it brings a positive energy that children like and want to be near. • When the coach is calm and assertive they becomes the leader of the pack. The pack feel a warm welcoming energy that relaxes them. They accept the leader because of their assertiveness. i.e. they know what to do they will meet the needs of the children (stimulation, attention, competition) • They will be organised, the task will match the ability of the children it will be exciting and energising. The children will learn because the sessions are framed to achieve stimulation, attention, competition

11. Ceasar’s three golden rules: • Rules • Boundaries • Limitations • When the children understand these and have them agreed and signed by their parents /guardians they will feel secure and safe. • The coach must train to be CALM & ASSERTIVE, a difficult combination. • The coach’s main aim is create happy lively alert players/ children • Demands a lot of an adult and can trigger any weakness in their personality, • To be leader then you must make whatever changes are necessary.

12. Mind your language!!!!!

13. Which of the following statements is most likely to result in you sponsoring me for £5 to support my GAA Club?

14. Sponsor me £5 to support my GAA Club • I want £5 sponsorship towards my club • I would like you to sponsor me for £5 • I need you to sponsor me £5 • I would appreciate it if you sponsored me £5 • You must sponsor me for £5 • I am telling you to sponsor me the £5 • Would you consider sponsoring me for £5 • You are expected to sponsor me for £5

15. I want -------- • I would like you to ------- • I need you to ---------- • I would appreciate it if you ------ • You must ---------- • I am telling you to -------------- • Would you consider ---------- • You are expected to --------------

17. “It’s the way I tell them!” • Positive wording makes competent children. • Mostly we have inherited a negative way of giving commands. Father to a 9 year old son with a jug of milk full to the brim “Whatever you do don’t spill the milk” • Coaches should think first and understand what outcome they want and find the words most likely to cause that to happen. • “Good man Stephen, steady now, take your time I’ll move the chair out of the way” • Saying what we don’t want done is not going to be effective.

18. A Few Examples • Of course the coach sees some children Drop the ball or Over carry • But never ever uses words like ‘drop’ ‘over carry’ because that goes straight to the unconscious as a command. • “Avoid using the word DON’T”

19. “Say what you want them to do” • ‘Great Catch’, ‘Try again’, ‘use your fingers’, ‘eye on the ball’, ‘jump towards the ball’, • To raise motivation ‘what a catch’, ‘wow’, ‘brilliant’, ’10 in a row’, ‘look at that’ with an exciting tone, ‘I knew you’d do it’ • It takes 20 positives to undo the damage done by one negative. That’s part of being human.

20. Effective Coaches • Only tell players things they have no way of discovering it for themselves. • Do more “Asking than Telling” • Reinforce the positive • “Catch players doing things right” • Make learning a “FUN” experience

21. You will be the footballer/hurler you think you are!!!! So think positively !!!! • You are what you believe you are. If you believe you are a good footballer /hurler you will act that way. • If you believe you are not a good footballer/hurler you will also act that way. • If you believe you are good at some aspect of your game you will be confident in doing it. • If you believe you are weak at some aspect of your game you will lack confidence and when you make a mistake this will tend to re- enforce your belief that you are not good at something. • Therefore what you think and believe affects your performance!!!!

22. Counter Negative Self Talk • “It’s not like me to make a mistake like that” • What did you do well? • What’s the best game you ever played?

23. Coaching Real Winners • ‘De-emphasize winning and re-emphasize attaining personal goals. • This principle is the key to meeting a player’s needs to feel worthy—not only to maintain their self-worth but also to develop it further. • This principle is essential in enhancing the motivation of your players.’

24. Top Basketball coaches in the U.S.A use 25 positive reinforcements to one area requiring improvement!!!

25. Empowering Statements • I am proud of my past achievements and I am confident about my future performance. • I take control of a game • I maintain the maximum work rate during matches and in training. • I am effective at tackling and dispossessing an opponent. • I bring other players into the game • I am very skilful at taking my opponent on • I am an accurate passer of the ball. • I am a Team Player • I am very effective in winning the ball • I am accurate at taking scores either from play or from frees.

26. Any questions?

27. Summary • Develop Self Belief in players • Children need Rules, Attention and Competition • Communicate to players what you want them to do. • Its how you tell them • Coaching is more about “Asking” Than Telling • Use positive and empowering statements • Encourage young players to use positive and empowering statements about themselves