When Life Gives You Lemons

1. When Life Gives You Lemons Mary Lou Gamble

2. Bouncing Back from Life�s Disappointments Everything is perfect! You just know this will last forever. Change will happen with or without your consent. That is reality: college, marriage, career change, death in the family, divorce, retirement, empty nest, health problems, etc. Trouble is an affirmation of the human experience. Sorrow and disappointment are part of life�s journey. We are not always going to get what we want or want what we get. Why settle for lemonade when there is lemon meringue pie?

3. Anticipate Change Maintain a savings account for emergencies Have your support system there to listen and help you through Develop a healthy lifestyle to stay in good physical and mental health Be a good student with a strong study ethic and motivation for success Keep your vehicle in good working condition Get organized and develop a routine that allows you to accomplish your goals

4. Do Not Worry About It (easier said than done) Allow yourself 15 minutes a day to worry � but not just before bedtime Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen. Carry it to the absurd � will I become a homeless person on a park bench? How will this affect me five years from now? Gain appropriate perspective

5. By anticipating change with the positive actions listed on the previous slide, you are developing EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE: the capacity to ride life�s hurdles gracefully and bounce back. Resilience comes easier for some than for others in major life events as well as minor setbacks. Intrinsic factors which influence your emotional resilience: background, attitude, temperament, emotional makeup, anxiety levels, coping skills, tendency toward optimism or pessimism

6. Building Your Emotional Resilience Encourage yourself to have the will to find relief ahead Be vigilant about eating and sleeping Pay attention to your spiritual condition � faith in some power larger than yourself Draw on others� strength � fight isolation through support groups, friends Shift your view of time � one day at a time; celebrate small signs of progress; �this too shall pass�

7. Give yourself permission to indulge wisely � do what you feel like doing rather than what you should do Act �as if� � visualize yourself regaining momentum Take your mental health seriously � find a stress reduction program Go with your instincts � listen to your inner voice Get out of your head � find distractions to limit negative thoughts

8. Look for good in a bad experience Laugh � humor is the highest level of defense against pain Acceptance � recognizing that we are powerless over certain situations can bring a sense of peace into our lives, which will allow us to go on in spite of our circumstances

9. It is our resilience that allows us to withstand the shocks of change, to recover from tragedy, and to move forward after failure � at least enough to give ourselves another chance for success.

10. The Station Tucked away in our subconscious minds is an idyllic vision in which we see ourselves on a long journey that spans an entire continent. We are traveling by train, and from the windows, we drink in the passing scenes of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at crossings, of cattle grazing in distant pastures, of smoke pouring from power plants, of row upon row of cotton and corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of city skylines and village halls. But uppermost in our minds is our final destination � for at a certain hour and on a given day, our train will finally pull into the station with bells ringing, flags waving, and bands playing. And once that day comes, so many wonderful dreams will come true. So restlessly, we pace the aisles and count the miles, peering ahead, waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.

11. �Yes, when we reach the station that will be it!� we promise ourselves. �When we are 18�win the promotion�put the last kid through college�.buy that 450 SL Mercedes Benz�.pay off the mortgage�.have a nest egg for retirement.� From that day on we will live happily ever after. Sooner or later, however, we must realize there is no station in this life, no one earthly place to arrive at once and for all. The journey is the joy. The station is an illusion � it constantly outdistances us. Yesterday is a memory; tomorrow is a dream. Yesterday belongs to history; tomorrow belongs to God. Yesterday is a fading sunset; tomorrow is a faint sunrise. Only today is there light enough to love and live.

12. So gently close the door on yesterday and throw the key away. It is not the burdens of today that drive men mad, but rather the regret over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. �Relish the moment� is a good motto, especially when coupled with Psalm 118:24: �This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.� So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, swim more rivers, climb more mountains, kiss more babies, count more stars. Laugh more and cry less. Go barefoot more often. Eat more ice cream. Ride more merry-go-rounds. Watch more sunsets. Life must be lived as we go along.

13. The Delano Code of Law by Gregory J. Delano, M.Ed. I am intelligent I am talented I am special I am worth loving I am worth forgiving I am a gift I am intrinsically good I must believe in myself I will be my own best friend I have discipline I have courage I am responsible I have commitment I am a winner I will always envision success

14. Thank you for your participation in this workshop. We hope you found it helpful. Please remember to complete and return an Academic Enrichment Summary. If you are viewing this workshop via the internet please come by the Student Support Services office to complete an Academic Enrichment Summary or you may click on the link in the directions box on the Workshops page and print one out or e-mail it to: rcrews@wallace.edu so that we may document your participation. Handouts available upon request.