Chapter 7: Improving Relationships *Climate and Conflict

2. Chapter 7: Improving Relationships *Climate and Conflict

3. Two Way to Improve Relationships • Maintain an effective communication climate. • Express and resolve conflict in an effective manner.

4. Communication Climate isthe emotional tone of a relationship • It measure the degree to which a person feels he/she is valued in a relationship. • It is created through: • Confirming responses: • Disconfirming responses: • Conflict Spirals

5. Messages have two dimensions • Content dimension: • substance of the message • Relational dimension: • conveys feelings one person has towards the other person.

6. Gibbs’ CategoriesCertain Messages (behaviors) are more likely to create supportive or defensive climates DefensivevsSupportive • Evaluation - Description • Control - Problem-oriented • Strategy - Spontaneity • Neutrality - Empathy • Superiority - Equality • Certainty - Provisionalism

7. Relational Conflict

8. Conflict What is it? Major Causes of Conflict • Expressed Struggle • Incompatible goals (perceived) • Scarce Resources • Interdependent Parties • Money • Other Relationships • Lifestyle • Decisions • Behaviors

9. Dealing with Conflict Effectively Influenced by: • Gender • Culture • Personality • Conflict Style • Conflict Resolution Method

10. Conflict and Personality

11. Personality Profiles

12. Conflict: Expression and resolution • Most people, tend to express and/or react to conflict in one of five ways. • Style may vary and be impacted by the situation, but many people tend to rely primarily on 1 or 2 styles most often. • There are four major ways to resolve conflict: • Win-lose • Lose-lose • Compromise • Win-win

13. Nonassertion • Does not express feelings • Puts other person’s needs ahead of your own • Generally achieved in two ways: • avoidance = I lose- you lose • accommodation= I lose – you win • Is it ever the best way to handle conflict?

14. Direct Aggression • Directly confronts and attacks the other person • Puts personal needs ahead of the other person • Utilizes competitive problem-solving = I win – you lose

15. Passive Aggression • Expresses hostility in a vague way • Lose-Lose: If I lose then You lose too. • Uses Crazymaking Actions • Pseudoaccomodators • Guiltmakers • Jokers • Trivial tyrannizers • Withholders

16. Indirect Communication • Conveys information in a roundabout way • Uses a 3rd party

17. Assertion • Expresses needs, thoughts, and feelings clearly and directly • Asserts own needs without stepping on the needs of others • Part of a Win-Win resolution: I win – you win • Utilized in Collaboration = problem solving process

18. Resolving Conflict Effectively • Perspective • See the issue from the other’s perspective (empathy) • Keep things in perspective • Be Tolerant • respect their decisions on how to live their life • Deal with your Anger • calm our anger before confronting other • Talk • But, remember some things are best left unsaid • Raising Problem • sometimes it is important to make another person aware of the problems they are creating

19. In resolving a conflict remember these things: • Consider the other person’s needs/your needs • Consider the most appropriate method of conflict resolution • Use effective communication techniques to address conflict • DESC(describe behaviors/ explain effect/ state outcome/express consequences) • If possible engage in win-win conflict resolution