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综合型作文 讲评 PowerPoint Presentation
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综合型作文 讲评. sixuanhai@sina.com 13109515985 QQ:332567896. It is universally a fact that (社会现象) . ( 展开一、两句 ) . (主题句) Communicating via email is very convenient / not advisable. Firstly, (好 / 坏处之一) . Secondly, (好 / 坏处之二) . Lastly, (好 / 坏处之三) .

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综合型作文 讲评


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Presentation Transcript
slide1

综合型作文讲评

sixuanhai@sina.com

13109515985

QQ:332567896

slide2
It is universally a fact that (社会现象). (展开一、两句).

(主题句)Communicating via email is very convenient / not advisable. Firstly, (好/坏处之一) . Secondly, (好/坏处之二) . Lastly, (好/坏处之三).

Therefore, (自己的观点). (展开一、两句).(套入标题的结尾句).

slide4

Merits:

  • Successful use of the suggested templates
  • Good development of the composition
  • Good language use
good points
Good points:
  • According to a survey, people in a big city have to spend at least half an hour on it every day.
  • Traffic jam causes a waste of time.
  • People waste much of their time because of traffic jam
  • Working people lose lots of time because of traffic jam.
  • When we go to school or work, traffic jam prevents us from getting there conveniently.
  • Firstly, because of it, traveling, going to work and so on is not so convenient as before.
  • We have to get up early only to waste more time in the jam.
slide6
More Traffic jams mean more time we waste on the road.
  • We are running the risk to get (of getting) physical illness, such as cancer. This is because vehicles produce more waste (exhaust) when at low speed.
  • Beside(s), it makes the car eat more gas, so that our resource will be used up sooner.
  • In this way, minutes may stretch into hours.
  • A survey indicated the percentage of traffic accidents nearly doubled when the traffic was busy.
  • Because of the bad traffic, we often have to waste more time on the road.
  • As people want to make up for the time they waste on (in) traffic jam, they drive faster and it (this) tends to be more dangerous.
what we need to improve
What we need to improve…

The application of the templates

Logic /common sense

Language

Contents

the application of the templates
The Application of the templates
  • Not using the given templates
    • Too long compositions
    • Not coherent at places
    • Off topic at places
    • Overlapping points
  • Not fully using the templates
    • Going away from the given task
    • Insufficient length
logic common sense
Logic/common sense
  • Cars cannot move a step
  • Traffic jam causes air pollution/noise/wastes people’s time.
  • We should limit the number of bus and car, and increase the number of traffic policeman to make traffic more and more convenient.
language problems
Language problems
  • Word form
    • Social  society
    • boring bored
  • Collocation
    • important problem
    • pay attention on
  • Diction
    • Private/ personal cars
    • Affect/effect/ influence
  • Whether vs no matter w(h)
  • The traffic jam
  • Agreement
    • Sv
    • Pronoun
    • Tense
  • Punctuation

--run on sentences

--fused sentences

  • Spelling

traffice/ triffic

  • Grammar
contents
Contents
  • Traffic jam can waste much money. For example, many kinds of food are easy to go to bad, if they meet traffic jam, they will go to bad and waste money.
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Praise Lists

SE61

SE62

SE64

SE63

EE69

EM61

SE65

EE610