Online Counselling

1. Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

2. Online Counselling Anne Stokes Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

3. An Introduction to Online Counselling Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

4. Why might clients access Online Counselling? • Irregular working hours • Working away from home/workplace • Transport problems • Caring roles • Disability • Preference Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

5. How it happens • Asynchronous - by email - responses in agreed time - acknowledgement emails • Synchronous – in real time - agreed time as in f2f - secure chat room Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

6. Value within a Counselling Service • Greater flexibility and choice for clients • USP • May reduce time away from workplace (EAPs) • May offer greater diversity of counsellors and specialisms as location is irrelevant Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

7. Counselling Services might have to: • Train counsellors • Set up pilot schemes • Explore supervision of e-counselling • Ensure secure systems are in place Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

8. Concerns • Counsellors need training in online work • Confidentiality • How to allocate ‘sessions’ – e.g. does one email exchange equal one session? • Technology failure • Effectiveness? Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

9. Using words in Emails • Consider the value of words, emphasis and image • Consider what guidelines you might give your potential clients about their writing • Explore different ways of building your therapeutic email relationship and what factors might be important in sending them. Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

10. Words have to convey • Warmth, empathy, UPR, genuineness • Your understanding of the client’s issues • Your own feelings where appropriate • Tentativeness • Summary of issues • Focus of work Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

11. Using words to convey meaning • Choice of font • Size of font • Colour of font • Using ! Or … • Using :-) or :-( or ;-) • Typing <sigh> <nodding> <wink> Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

12. Using creativity • Your client could write you the story of their life • Or send you images as well. * Or write a poem Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

13. What guidelines do you want to give? • Do you want to limit the amount they write? • What happens if they write “too much”? • Do you want them to sit down and write “as it comes” without returning to change or correct it? • Should the amount be part of the contract? Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

14. Working with emails • Is each email going to be a ‘stand alone’? • Do they become a long string of emails all attached to each other? • Do you add to the client’s text to build a dialogue perhaps using a different colour/style of font to show the different voices? • Do you edit the client’s text, keeping only portions you are responding to? Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

15. How will you send your email? • Put the therapeutic part into a Word document which is a file attachment with a covering email? • Send open emails to a remote email address such as hotmail? • Use encryption to secure your emails? • Use a digital signature so the client knows the email has come from you? Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

16. Example of email dialogue DS: I don’t know where to begin really, I’m worried about my marriage,my children, my mother. I just seem to have stopped thinking again …I just hope you can help mesort myself out. It’s all such a muddle. GJ: …Do you think it might help ifyou try and focus on just one thing in your reply? I’m also awarethat you feel you are reacting just like you have in the past and …I really want to say ‘slow down, take a deep breath’ let’s talk through things one at a time. DS: I have been thinking a lot since your last email. I agree with whatyou say about taking one thing at a time. So I’ve decided to put thelatest crisis on one side until I feel stronger, then I can deal with it better.Worrying about everything doesn’t work – I really need to concentrate onone thing at a time.’ GJ: Thinking aloud here <what a huge change F is making>. Even though you’re in a crisis right now, you’re not ‘frozen’ by it this time. You’re thinking things through more objectively. <smiling to myself here> This is a big step forward and a much more manageable way to look at things. Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

17. Synchronous sessions • Can seem more spontaneous • May feel more like f2f • Can be slow if ‘two finger’ typing • Have to overcome fears about ‘typos’ • May allow use of emoticons • Have to be scheduled Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

18. Example of live session • Anne says: Can you say a bit more about the chain of events? • Mona says: I can’t understand why this is happening. I now isolate myself almost completely and I spend most of my time alone. • Mona says:  • Mona says: It’s a mess isn’t it? LOL • Anne says: So there’s the concern over the promotion, what’s happened in the past (that chain of events) . . . • Anne says: Isolating yourself, the effect on your well-being, and that sense of not trusting anyone . . . • Anne says: Have I got that right? Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

19. Example of initial email Hello I am struggling to cope at work at the present. The future feels very uncertain, I might lose my job due to restructuring: and I am scared about what comes next. There is talk about the possibility of redundancy and this feels very bleak. I am not yet 50 and have 10 years left on my mortgage. If the department are able to offer me another job it could be in any work area. I haven’t done mainstream work for over 10 years and the thought of retraining at my age is daunting. I have noticed that I can be easily irritated at work, and when I go home I don’t want to do anything. My partner has taken early retirement and he is enjoying this lovely weather. It is so hard to come in every day and just carry on. Any help you can offer would be appreciated. I’m not sure how this will work…but I am willing to try anything that may make me feel a bit better. Thank you for listening. Brenda Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

20. Email for you to respond to Dear Julie…thanks for your email last week. I’m happy enough with the terms of the contract you explained to me. The problems I’m having are not work related at all It’s to do with home. My wife has recently left me after starting a relationship with someone she met in an online chat room – she has left me and the children and moved in with this bloke. It had been going on for ages and when I found out I couldn’t cope with it – I started drinking too much of an evening and going to the pub at lunch time, sometimes I would stay all afternoon. Anyway when my wife left, I didn’t know what to do. You see we have two young kids 6 and 8 and she left them with me. I’ve got to get them to school in a morning and pick them up after school. My parents have been able to help up to now but they’re not well themselves so I need to sort something else out – but I don’t know where to start. I told my manager at the meeting last week and he was understanding and said he would do what he could to help and asked me to think about it and let him know - we are supposed to be meeting again next week. I don't think he's putting me on performance management yet but he said I’ve got to get my flexi, my work and my home commitments sorted out – I don’t really want to be here – it’s all just a mess. If you can suggest anything I would be grateful. Rob Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

21. Over to you! • What are your concerns? • What questions do you have? • What are you ‘sitting on’? Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013

22. Do feel free to contact me later • anne.stokes4@btinternet.com • www.onlinetrainingforcounsellors.co.uk Anne Stokes Bristol June 2013