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Emotional and Spiritual Intelligences: Keys To Enlightened Leadership. By Cindy Wigglesworth President, Conscious Pursuits, Inc. cswigglesworth@aol.com www.consciouspursuits.com. My Background. 20 years at Exxon / Exxon Mobil in Human Resources Worked as a Manager

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emotional and spiritual intelligences keys to enlightened leadership

Emotional and Spiritual Intelligences: Keys To Enlightened Leadership

By

Cindy Wigglesworth

President, Conscious Pursuits, Inc.

cswigglesworth@aol.com

www.consciouspursuits.com

my background
My Background
  • 20 years at Exxon / Exxon Mobil in Human Resources
    • Worked as a Manager
    • Worked in Organizational Development
    • Change Manager on largest change project in Exxon Chemical History
  • In private practice for 10 years
    • Consultant for The Methodist Hospital on a culture change project that landed them in Fortune 100 best employers
    • Conducted a Spiritual Intelligence at Work pilot at MD Anderson Cancer Center
  • I teach Emotional and Spiritual Intelligences to help people…
    • Master their Minds to Master their Emotions, improve resilience, decrease stress
    • To become better leaders and co-workers
    • To lead more fulfilled lives
intelligence defined
Intelligence Defined
  • Innate potential that is brought into form through practice
  • Adeptness or appropriately reasoned behavior or choice
have you ever known anyone who was brilliant intellectually and really poor at relationship skills
Have you ever known anyone who was brilliant intellectually and really poor at relationship skills?

Emotional Intelligence

multiple intelligences
Multiple Intelligences

Highly Developed

Cognitive

Developed

Under Developed

IQ Moral EQ SQ PQ

cpi model of 4 intelligences

SQ

EQ

IQ

PQ

CPI Model of 4 Intelligences

Inner wisdom guided by Compassion. Equanimity (inner and outer peace)

Managing ourselves and our relationships well

Math & Verbal intelligences (think SATs)

Body awareness and skillful use

emotional competency framework

Self-

Awareness

Social

Awareness

  • Emotional Self-Awareness
  • Accurate Self-Assessment
  • Self-Confidence
  • Empathy
  • Organizational Awareness
  • Service Orientation

Self-

Management

Social Skills

  • Developing Others
  • Inspirational Leadership
  • Influence
  • Communication
  • Change Catalyst
  • Conflict Management
  • Teamwork & Collaboration
  • Emotional Self-Control
  • Transparency
  • Adaptability
  • Achievement Orientation
  • Initiative
  • Optimism
“Emotional Competency Framework”

Per Daniel Goleman and Richard Boyatzis

18 skills

how do i get eq
How do I get EQ?

Self Awareness

Other Awareness

START HERE

END HERE

Self Management

Relationship Skills

the human brain
The Human Brain

Neocortex

The part of the brain most recent in evolution is associated with complex thought.

PrefrontalLobes

The brain’s executive center: integrates information from all parts of the brain and makes decisions to act.

Thalamus

Processes sensory messages (e.g., eyes and ears) then routes them mainly to the neocortex.

Amygdala

Triggers emotional responses. Typically gets signals from the neocortex, but a quicker and fuzzier signal comes directly from the thalamus. Can hijack the brain when it perceives an emergency.

Brain Stem

The most primitive part of the brain. Is associated predominantly with automatic reflexes, as well as memory and learning.

good news

Neocortex!

Performance

FEEDBACK

Good News!
  • You can develop Emotional Intelligence!
    • “Rewire” your responses to feelings.
    • Change how you think about this.
    • Alter your behavior.

Conscious & skillful behavior!

Beliefs

Emotions

Thoughts

Behavior

can eq skills be learned
Can EQ Skills be Learned
  • Yes! But the LIMBIC system learns differently from the neocortex
  • Self-directed learning (self-motivated)
    • Begin with gap between real self and ideal self
  • Experimenting with new behaviors
  • SUSTAINED practice required
  • Supported by feedback from trusted others
  • RETENTION of new limbic skill is better than neocortex-learning
racing up the ladder of inference
Racing up the Ladder of Inference

You have 10 minutes

  • Share a story with a partner or in a small group of a time when you made an assumption, an interpretation, shared it with others, and later found out you were wrong.
  • Why do you think we are so attracted to jumping to conclusions and ramping up our emotions – sharing these stories and generating emotions in other people?

Post your answers to #2 to leadership@unity.org

developing eq skills
Developing EQ Skills
  • Emotional Self-Awareness- journal of emotions – see www.consciouspursuits.com under ARTICLES
  • Empathy exercise in the prework
  • Emotional Intelligence 2.0 – book full of tips and has an assessment passcode at the end
three behaviors of resonant leaders that nourish everyone
Three Behaviors of Resonant Leaders that Nourish Everyone
  • Compassion
    • Caring for people (shown in behaviors)
    • Caring for self (shifting toward positive thoughts; good self-care body/mind/emotions/spirit)
  • Mindfulness
    • Present moment focus
    • Relaxed & alert awareness of what is going on
  • Hope for a better future
    • Optimism + Realism + alignment with the team’s values and emotions
a typical exercise spiritual leaders
A Typical Exercise: Spiritual Leaders
  • Name some people you admire whom you would consider to be Spiritual Leaders
    • Can be alive or dead
      • May never have met the person
    • Fictional or real
    • Don’t have to be perfect
  • In a second list, name the TRAITS of these Spiritual Leaders that cause you to admire them
    • Don’t have to be connected to a person - just a general list
typical list
Typical list…
  • Major religious figures: Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Moses, Abraham, Lord Krishna, saints (e.g. Mother Theresa)
  • Political leaders: Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Jr.
  • Teachers, local religious leaders, guidance counselors,
  • Authors/TV: Oprah, Dr. Phil
  • Relatives: Mom, Dad, Grandmother, Grandfather, Aunt, Uncle, children
  • Others: my co-worker, my neighbor, my patient, my boss, animals/pets
common traits of spiritual leaders
Common Traits of Spiritual Leaders
  • Peaceful / nonviolent
  • Passionate
  • Outstanding teachers
  • Able to inspire others
  • Great leaders
  • Visionary
  • Persistent in the face of difficulties
  • See the gifts inside other people and develop them
  • Loving / Compassionate / Kind
  • Honest / High Integrity / Authentic
  • Humble
  • Wise
  • Courageous
  • Faithful, Committed to their ideals
  • Forgiving
  • Accepting / non-judging
  • Calm, centered
a basic vocabulary

A Basic Vocabulary

Spirituality and Religion

Source of life or Highest Power

Ego self and Higher Self

Love

Spiritual Intelligence

defining spirituality
Defining Spirituality
  • Spirituality is an innate need to connect to something larger than ourselves – something you feel is divine or sacred.
    • Religion is one very common way we attempt to satisfy this need
    • Connecting with Nature is another
    • Philosophy, Art, Physics, Science are others

- Seeking an ideal, a noble truth, perfection, beauty

some synonyms for source noble ideal
Some Synonyms for Source/ Noble Ideal
  • Higher Power
  • God, Allah, Brahman, Yhwh, Lord, Spirit, Jesus, Holy Spirit
  • The Dao/Tao
  • The Ground of all Being, Pure Essence
  • I Am That I Am - All That Is – That Which Is
  • Ein Sof, The Indefinable Mystery
  • Quantum field, the Vacuum State of Infinite Potential
  • The Universe
  • Love, Truth, Knowledge, Compassion
  • Pure Consciousness, Pure Love, Pure Intelligence
  • Gaia, Creator, the Great Spirit….et cetera
we have two parts an ego and a higher self

We have two parts…an Ego and a “Higher Self”

Ego is our “personality self” and is designed to help us navigate the world and defend ourselves

Fight or flight is key

Needs to be healthy

Higher Self is where we go when we “transcend” ego

possible synonyms for ego
Possible Synonyms for Ego
  • Personality self
  • Local self or temporary self
  • Manifest or material or relative self
  • The “nafs” (Islam)
  • Lower self, animal nature
  • Fearful or childish self
  • Needy self
  • Persona - the mask I wear
the problems of ego self
The Problems of Ego self
  • Puts HUGE filters on our perceptions of reality
    • it’s all about me!
    • it’s probably bad!
  • Focuses on the past (what I or others did wrong) or future (what might happen) where we are powerless
  • LOVES drama, gossip, distraction from what matters
  • Is chronically unsatisfied – there is never enough (scarcity)
possible synonyms for higher self
Possible Synonyms for Higher Self
  • Soul, Spirit
  • Christ Consciousness
  • Buddha nature
  • Atman
  • Essential Self
  • Authentic or True Self
  • The Dao/Tao within
ego self higher self
Ego self / Higher Self
  • Ego is the part of us that is
    • Fearful, angry, separated from others
    • Likes drama, victim roles, aggressor roles
    • Thinks of “me” as a body
    • Necessary to function in 3rd dimensional reality
      • Practical but prone to overreaction
    • Initially resists Spiritual growth (likes being in charge!)
  • Higher Self or Spirit is the part of us that is
    • Eternal, fearless, compassionate, wise, peaceful, deep joy
    • Seeks UNITY with others and Source/God/Universe
slide29

Spirit or Higher Selfis about Unity, Connection, Service, abundance, Long-term thinking, Win/Win/Win solutions

  • Egois about Separation, isolation, self-protection, scarcity, short- term thinking, win/lose or “quid pro quo”
sq and love one another
SQ and “Love one another”
  • The Golden Rule exists in all the major faith traditions and in most philosophies of life (treat others as you wish to be treated)
  • We want “Love.” But what is Love?

A Bird with two wings…

Wisdom

Compassion

So spiritual intelligence is acting with Love…

cpi definition of spiritual intelligence
CPI definition of Spiritual Intelligence

“Spiritual Intelligence is the ability to behave with Wisdom and Compassion while maintaining inner and outer peace (Equanimity) regardless of the situation.”

cpi model of spiritual intelligence
CPI Model of Spiritual Intelligence

Other focused

Self / self focused

1. Self / self Awareness

2. Universal Awareness

  • Awareness of interconnectedness of life
  • Awareness of worldviews of others
  • Breadth of Time perception
  • Awareness of limitations / power of human perception
  • Awareness of Spiritual Laws
  • Experience of transcendent oneness
  • Awareness of own worldview
  • Awareness of Life Purpose (Mission)
  • Awareness of Values Hierarchy
  • Complexity of inner thought
  • Awareness of Ego self/Higher Self

What You See -Inner World

3. Self/self Mastery

4. Social Mastery/Spiritual Presence

  • Wise and effective teacher / mentor
  • Wise and effective leader / change agent
  • Makes Compassionate AND Wise decisions
  • A calming, healing presence
  • Being aligned with the ebb and flow of life

What Other People See – Outer World

  • Commitment to spiritual growth
  • Keeping Spirit Self in charge
  • Living your purpose and values
  • Sustaining faith
  • Seeking guidance from Spirit
goal higher self drives ego navigates

Ego

Higher Self

Goal: Higher Self Drives, Ego “navigates”

Think of your Ego as an important part of the whole. It can sometimes have good advice but shouldn’t be “behind the wheel”!

Good Partners

the drama triangle its antidote

Challenger

Higher Self

Co-Creator

Coach

Spirit

The Drama Triangle & its antidote!

Persecutor

Ego DRAMA!

Victim

Rescuer

Ego

Based on The Power of TED* by David Emerald

*The Empowerment Dynamic

exercise shifting to higher self
Exercise: Shifting to Higher Self
  • Think about the Ladder of Inference example. Instead of leaping to a conclusion, and getting upset, how can we interrupt the ego-voices and instead operate from Higher Self?
  • Post your ideas to leadership@unity.org
clear perception
Clear Perception?
  • Ears to hear and eyes to see – both are gifts from the Lord (Proverbs 20:12)
  • Let anyone with ears to hear, listen! (Mark 4:23)
  • Where there is perception there is deception (The Buddha)
why this matters
Why This Matters
  • Perception is NOT equal to “Ultimate Reality”
    • Yet we act and react based on what we perceive (and the assumptions we make!)
    • So perception becomes “our reality”
  • We can choose to be in control of our perceptions (“the radio channels we tune into”) and our interpretations
  • We can tune into the voice “ego” or into the voice of “Higher Self”
beginning to integrate spirituality in our daily lives

Insert PAUSE

Beginning to Integrate Spirituality in Our Daily Lives

Event in Your Life

Your Response*

*thought, emotion, speech, action

reframe and tell a more compassionate story
Reframe and tell a more compassionate story

Our usual ego pattern

  • It’s all about me (making it personal)
  • Make assumptions - leap to conclusions/interpretations
  • Focus on and amplify the negative/drama story
  • Worry about past and future and miss out on the present!

Spiritually Intelligent pattern

  • It may not be about me at all!
  • What about the other person?
  • I don’t know what this means…be open
  • Focus on the positive interpretation
  • Focus on gratitude
  • Stay in present moment
conclusions
Conclusions
  • EQ matters so you can manage your own success, assist the success of others, and improve your emotional and physical health
  • SQ matters so that you can UNSEAT the triggers of anger and upset by learning the skills to shift from ego to Higher Self.
    • This increases peace, compassion, wisdom and prevents burnout for you and those who work for you
    • It enables much more accurate perception and decision making
developing sq
Developing SQ
  • Shift from Ego Self to Higher Self voice
    • Insert Pause
    • Empathy & role reversal to total reframe
    • Success = you can role reverse with anyone
  • Take on new worldviews (Skill 7)
  • Make sure you know how to be “in the world” as well as “not of the world”
    • Includes ability to set necessary boundaries
    • Develop worldly skills as needed = skillful means = part of Wisdom
  • Take the SQ Assessment if you feel drawn to that
sq as a capstone intelligence
SQ as a CAPSTONE Intelligence

SPIRITUAL

INTELLIGENCE

Human Development

Highly Developed

Cognitive

Emotional

Developed

Under Developed

Physical Intelligence