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1. Wow. I accidentally hit on the start just before I was even ready, so wow. Below we go. I can't chicken out with the No, I can't, but my tripod isn't set up correctly. How are you guys as I merely am, I try thawed. Just how are you currently? You are doing well? Yeah. I am trying to keep track of the days. My body's still enjoy playing catch up from, um, traveling and becoming at the long term. However now we are. Just how are you? Um, yeahthis may be the only Facebook dwell video that I really don't want to really do. U M, but that really is intimacy. And if Ipersonally, very well, I will talk the talk. I will have to walk in the walk right? Um, a piece of me personally of what intimacy is all about, that I have experienced intimacy together with other people has been throughout vulnerability and being super receptive with men and women. And that for me has caused a lot of intimacy in my life, however, also a good deal of breakthrough and a great deal of freedom. And so I am about to embark on a exact scary journey because of mepersonally. And, um, I wish I had done, '' I almost wish I would have achieved this earlier because I was really like really tender and really tender about this. And today I can feel my walls are getting out of bed and also my tonality can be a tiny bit more. U M, but I am sharing what I am about to share with you, U M, is very, um, burdensome because of me. Um, but, and that the reason why I do so, why do I do so publicly? Is because I, I believe as what is likely to make me powerful as. A person, an intimacy physician, an intimacy healer, a an intimacy expert, coach, whatever you need to call me that you truly feel comfortable having understanding me, whatever box you demand. U M, if you ask me, intimacy is real and there's no bullshit around it. There is absolutely no pretense. There is absolutely not any like, Hey, let's only get it done also. Best. I am definitely going to absolutely tell you about intimacy. Like that's horseshit. Much like intimacy is raw and real and vulnerable. And some times messy and sometimes hard and at times beautiful and at times romantic and at times sexy. It's got all types of attributes to it. Um, but yeah, I want to go on this trip of sharing it openly because one, it's very intimate. It is extremely real. And also to, um. Sometimes watching somebody else's courage and some body else's travel, um, really will inspire and liberate other people. Um, I, I have found that by giving myself permission to become free, disgusting, in undertaking that, I actually give other people the consent to become free and if I find their own freedom as well. So that's why I am about to share all this openly and just go with this trip with you. U M. Very openly. Um, yeahthis can be hard. Wow. I really wasn't expecting all of this. U M, but itall sort of just like came to a head today, so. Today. I was like really definitely going to be inspired along with my enterprise. Like I'm really thrilled. I want to really start to branch outside and start dealing together with marriages and partners. Cause I have such a heart for seeing marriages revived and redeemed. I believe as that's definitely going to be a significant section of at which I go along with intimacy isn't just supporting singles and discovering love on their own, however even helping marriage is fine.

2. The love and also to. Really merely bring healing. I mean, that's essentially what I do is I draw healing to individuals hearts. You realize, the majority of the time what keeps us from love will be , is, is brokenness. You know, damaged plea places within our heart at which you understand we only run away from these. And I'm going to post a quotation after this , I can't even say the gentleman's name, but basically how we will run out of our brokenness. We are going to run out of our pain only. Because we're afraid of the not known to stay within the familiar because we're comfortable using the familiar. And really that is essentially what I'm doing with my own intimacy work, is attracting healing into men and women's hearts and healing that the brokenness. And there exists a much more that goes on it, but that is it in a summary and can't preach it when I am not doing this correctly. Thus, um, so. As you know, I have shared with you men with intimacy also, it is a lot about taking possibility. And therefore that's the reason why I titled this just like, for example, what exactly is the most scary thing that you're planning to complete on your life to change your entire life that this year? And for me personally, last year I made a big scary hazard. I made a change. I employed a business coach that I. Technically could not afford. At exactly the same period, I have changed my entire company from dating to intimacy and raise my own prices, which was really hard for me because I was charging like a therapist and perhaps not really charging for its value that I introduced. So like setting a demand in my value, all of that was really scary. But also for me, um, what I'm carrying out starting tomorrow is more scary than all people that. U M. All right, here we proceed. Um, therefore I will maintain, I'll just tell the narrative from the start because a number of you know, some of you don't know, however, um, Back in 2010, my, I get a telephone call and I was surviving in California and I receive a call out of my sister, Jackie, that my sister Sarah was struck with a drunk driver on her way to perform at . 7:30 AM and it changed my whole lifespan. I remember watching with her, and that was clearly one of the most devastating nightmares in my personal lifetime of seeing my sister with tubes all over her and belonged up the size of a football and metal rods coming out of her own body to keep her. Hips in place. And that was only the most painful thing I have ever seen. And I ran out of this hospital space and I ran to, I can not, Oh. And they told me I couldn't talk to her, which that I could not like be a large sister turn, such as saved this day. And then we ran outside and she ran in to the bathroom and that I began to just punch the floor. It truly is like cement flooring and I am only punching it along with my bare-faced and my family simply comes and runs and there's a few other of those kiddies, and also my parents have been all just caked. They're hovering around me in a bathroom floor and I will never forget that I woke up the next point nightI really don't know how exactly I got into my parents' property, but that I awakened to the sofa in my parents' living room. My family had stayed at the ER. And that I woke up the next early morning and I was like, Holy shit. That was the worst fucking nightmare. Excuse my French. But that's the hardest fucking nightmare I Have everexperienced. Oh, my God. And that I just like felt relieved that I woke up and I was like, Ooh, that was a horrible dream. And then I woke up and that I enjoy , I remember feeling the texture of my mum's couch when I touched it, and I looked around and realized I was in my mother's house. And that. It was perhaps not a dream and that I was surviving in a nightmare and that that nightmare was my life. And, it has been function as my life because my sister today resides, um, a nursing home and doesn't talk and will not walk.

3. And, you know, we've almost misplaced your on many occasions in the past 7 years. And it is an area within my own heart that has been the untouchables however. Just like that I personally, it really is only, it's a place within my heart that when you touch , I'll go in to rage. I shall, I will move from the intimacy person until I shall fucking kill you in human being because it is so tender. Um, and, uh, I've, it is a broken part of the heart. Or perhaps the past seven yearspast And you know, it's similar to, '' I could not uncover, I looked best online dating sites for like therapy groups to combine and all them were like, for men and women who had died. And I'm like, well, what would you really do when the man is still living? And consequently that my heart has been broken within this and it reveals in every area of my life. It reveals in my relationship. Um, when she belongs into the ER, '' I can't work. I only. It merely really debilitates mepersonally. And so, um, so only recently more than Christmas, I didn't obviously share that publicly, however, um, maybe not Christmas, Thanksgiving, U M, my small god was coming to the town. And my love becoming ill and had to visit the ER and I am driving into the airport, picking up my small brother, and I start having a panic attack and I'm here driving in Los Angeles. As you are really on a busy road. You've got the car down. And Italked to my girlfriend and I said, please like pray for me cause I am on my way to pick up my small brother. And they merely took my own love affair. His child just chose him into the ER. Um, and I said, I am dropping it. And thus that she began to merely pray on me and speak peace for me personally. And, um, and also you men, this is precisely why we do intimacy. Cause we're not, when I continue saying we aren't made to do this lifetime alone, we are really not. We're really not. And I'm so grateful that I have opened my heart to your close folks in my own life and I have allowed them to observe my wounds. I've allowed them to see my personal victories, my wins. I have allowed them to observe where I am courageous and where I'm fearful, at which I am a star and where I can nonetheless just fuckup at the drop of a hat. And thus my dear buddy who was praying with me, she said, Erica, I think that it's time. I said, okay. She said, I believe it's time that you find a therapist within your sister's situation. And that was like the huge elephant in the room that I've been running away from for years. I, I'll tell folks about any of it, however I have certainly not, I've talked to coaches and now there. I've, I've, I have skirted around it. I've never only saw the showed in a therapist off ice and said, I am here in order to work on healing my heart with my sister's situation along with her accident. And I'm so grateful for that courageous good friend who, who spoke the truth to me and said, sweetheart, you can't keep living like this. You can't just remain getting paralyzed every time some thing happens. And once I saw that I was likely into an anxiety attack , my lovemy boy friend visiting the hospital, I was enjoy , I can't, '' I can't survive like this. And it merely turns in so many different ways. I go in to handle. I get extremely angry. I get closed down. I eventually become incredibly walled off. I get incredibly annoyed by people when I get afraid like this, and I'm like, I can't, I can't survive like this. I can't enjoy my relationship. I can't just keep collapsing. And I said, you are suitable. You're absolutely right. So perhaps not a major deal right. So she provides me with a therapist and I speak to the therapist, and that I had certainly not just over the phone. I said, pay attention, I want to talk to someone. I don't know whether I have PTSD. I believe I do. U M, my sister was struck with a drunk driver and, um, it merely shows up in most area of my own life because. I feel that out of the heart leaks all of life. And if so, if there is an area in the heart that's damaged that you simply will start doing your life out of that brokenness. And that's the reason why it's so imperative for me that when I

4. work with persons that I bring healing into their hearts because their hearts are not healed and that I just give them some mantis, I only offer them practical things todo, but I'm not able to heal their heart, then their lifetime will never, their life will never flourish except if that area has been healed and restored. I know this. So I talked to this therapist and he was the very compassionate person I've heard in my own life, and he only began to just. He was enjoy, I'm really so sorry, I am really so sorry. However there were a lot of empathy and compassion originating from him. I was like, Oh my God, '' I wish I walked . That sort of empathy because it's indeed beautiful. And that I told him my situation and he said, you know, I am happy to do the job together with you. And that I said, okay. And I said, well, I am about to go. That really is in December. And I said, I'm about to go see my sister. I already have my coping mechanisms in place, so I really don't, um, '' I really don't want to open this up can of worms directly before I go and see my sister. So if we could only get the job done with each other. While I get back and he's like, whatever you think, such as, I will just honor that and I thank you so muchbetter. I called him yesterday and brain that when I said, when I committed in my own heart that I was likely to get therapy within my sister's situation, all hell broke free. My heart went enjoy this. And it just closed down. And I sensed that this massive wall come across my heart because it is similar to that fear of this unknown of I am about to allow someone come and touch the very tender place in my own heart. And I was to get a weekend. I only, my heart was just shut . I remember calling my appreciate at the job and saying, I really don't understand what to do. My heart, so shut down right now. It's so closed down. Therefore it simply committing to it, it was just like that my heart already knew like, Oh she, so she is moving there and for this, it is intensive. And so today I talked with a therapist and also we advised my appointment. He was like, well, I have an appointment tomorrow at two 30 and I can't let you know the way every thing I only wanted to run. And I just wanted to say, what's your second appointment? But my heart because I have, I have encouraged my heart to become powerful and courageous. My heart such as spoke to me personally and that I was like, yes, then I'll take that appointment. And when I did so, I just started crying and crying. Cause I'm enjoy, for seven years, I have never provided anyone full access into my heart inside this area. I've given them pieces, I have given them only enough, but it truly is such a scary place in my own heart. That even I'm not able to face it on my own even. I am not able to just open up all corners of it and only go, this really is it. This really is the way I believe, but I understand each day I dwell with a broken heart because of her situation, and so moving and getting surgery on this or healing or allowing someone to speak. To the area of my own life and sharing that part of my life with some one so publicly is quite scary, very scary. However, I know, I know the healing that will lead to my heart and my own life history is whatever I get, I offer it away. This can be the reason why I am a coach, because any freedom I've obtained, I want to devote it to my customers. And which means that really is. Very scary because of mepersonally. Incredibly, very scary to really go and work with a therapist and talk about my sister's situation on an ongoing basis and to keep that area of my heart peeled available and I'm not doing it alone. I immediately enjoy reached out to my love. I reached out to mybest buddy, my girlfriend, and merely said, I want your own support. I can't try this on my own, personal. So after I say such as intimacy isn't to be achieved on our own, um, and that it is scary and that there are hazards and there's vulnerability. Just like I understand that firsthand.

5. And that's why my clients obtain the breakers that they receive, and that's why their hearts receive free and healed and complete. So certainly, that can be a rather scary travel for me, however that I know that I can't live the rest of my own life having panic attacks. Anytime some one near to me goes to a hospital and I can't just, anytime that my sister goes to the hospital, just completely shed everything and simply lay in a fetal position all day that I can't. Reside my own life that way. U M, and I know that I can't do so on my own, personal. I've tried for the past seven years and that's workedout. Here I am going to observe a therapist and let some one else have access to this area of my heart that needs healing, that's brokenup. I encourage you that when there is a place in your life that you are running from. And it's really dictating your own life and it's managing your own life and it takes away your freedom, takes away your courage. This makes you afraid that hopefully that one can feel that my energy coming with this and that that may encourage you and love on you and allow you to realize that you're not alone, and that people all go by means of scary matters and we all want persons, and some times we've got to reach out to that professional help from time to time as I am doing. But yeah, '' I really don't, I really don't want to waste my own life. I am enslaved to anxiety, to panic attacks, to article traumatic anxiety like the, I Had rather have healing in my heart. And it's scary because it is the unknown, nevertheless the freedom that I am aware I have gotten in the past by dealing together with coaches and therapists in my personal own life. It is extremely tangible. It's very real and it liberates and it brings freedom to me personally and also my lifetime changes. I become a lot more powerful, and I understand that this is only another chapter in my own life by which I will get more victory and to get much more freedom. I'm going to secure a lot more healing, more hope, and to become able to open this part of my heart so that I can adore so that my heart isn't so shut and consequently shut and therefore reactive. But instead that I can find some good understanding and a few grace and a few compassion and allow the beautiful healing perform to start. Therefore yeahthis can be a scary point that I'm carrying out. Um, and that I understand if you have some scary factors you've surely got to confront this year, only realize that I am with you personally. I support you. You're not alone. Please, do not do it alone. U M, and yeah, if you might only keep me on mind and prayers as I move through this travel because it's scary and it's hard and I've been running out of it for, um, I've been running from this for just seven years. Somebody simply said, use the phrase challenging. Sure. It is challenging. I agree. It is challenging, but my heart will connect of the phrase scary. So. Challenging kind of takes away that emotion. And I'm trying to allow myself to really feel during this as in relation to making it a logical entity, because I want all the healing to my heart. I simply don't want this to be a head journey. I want this to be a hard travel. I expect that helps someone and I'll continue to share my personal trip about this together with you men. So maybe it provides someone else confidence and somebody else else courage. To be able to go after exactly the same freedom and also their healing and that they can get victory and freedom along the way. And this isactually, this really is what intimacy looks like. This is actually the vulnerability of this. This can be actually the risk of this. This is allowing individuals end, letting people support you and enjoy youpersonally, and some times going out your safe place and, and asking for assistance. Therefore that's what I am performing. He loved, today that you are adored.

6. Thank you for listening and hearing my story and as always, please keep my family in your prayers. My parents sit in a nursing home every night together with my sister And my sister, her moving by means of this journey to be a normal person and then living in a nursing residence. Therefore keep Sarah, my sister and my parents and my siblings. It is a very. Very difficult, hard, hard situation to walk outside, however I really want some healing of my heart for this thisspecific. Idon't want to stay in anxiety and panic attacks and, and trauma in this anymore. Thus I hope this really helps you. I really like you much. Take care. Bye.