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Coping with Hitchhikers and Couch Potatoes on Teams

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Coping with Hitchhikers and Couch Potatoes on Teams

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    1. Coping with Hitchhikers and Couch Potatoes on Teams

    2. All people are normal

    3. Some people are more ‘normal’ than others

    4. An imagined scenario You Mary Henry

    5. A few things about Jack Just too busy to meet Turns in junk Never answers phone messages Never answers e-mails Doesn’t show up for meetings Writing skills are subliminal Complains about everything

    6. But guess what? Mary’s a problem Henry’s a problem You’re a problem Everybody except Jack is a problem! Jack’s so certain, you start to wonder if you really are the problem.

    7. Time to go see the professor

    8. Jack

    9. The Bottom Line You and your teammates are left holding the bag. Jack gets the same good grades as everyone else in the group—without doing a lick of work.

    10. POST MORTEM

    11. What this group did wrong Absorbing Group took pride (at least initially) in getting the job done anyway. Hitchhikers count on you acting in a self-sacrificing manner. By not reflecting the consequences of the hitchhiker’s behavior—you’re rewarding him (or her)!

    12. What this group should have done Mirroring—Reflect the consequences of the behavior so the hitchhiker pays the price, not you. Maintain your own sense of reality Show by your actions that you have a bottom line—there are limits to the type of behavior you will and will not accept!

    13. Specific actions the group should have taken Too busy to meet? Find the time! Body language. Shoddy work is unacceptable. Don’t waste time trying to contact him. Don’t put his name down. Stick to your guns!

    14. Only Jack can change Jack He has no incentive to change if you do all his work for him. You can only change your own attitude so that Jack no longer takes advantage of you. People like Jack can be master manipulators. By the time you find out… Stop allowing these dysfunctional patterns early in the game!

    15. But what about Henry? Handling couch potatoes is a piece of cake compared to handling hitchhikers. The same firm limits you set for hitchhikers work beautifully for couch potatoes.

    16. But I’ve never liked telling people what to do!

    17. Common characteristics that allow a hitchhiker or couch potato to take advantage Inability to allow the person to fail or suffer. The person never learns from mistakes. Devotion to the ideal of the ‘good of the team.’ Temper this with commonsense realization of how this can allow others to take advantage of you.

    18. Characteristics (cont.) You like to make others happy—even at your own expense. Your best is never enough (perfectionism). You interpret the slightest contribution as ‘progress.’ You are willing to make personal sacrifices to not ‘abandon’ the hitchhiker.

    19. Characteristics (cont.) Poor self image (nothing you do is ever enough). Long-suffering martyrdom. The ability to cooperate but not delegate. Excessive conscientiousness. The tendency to feel responsible for others—at the expense of being responsible for yourself.

    20. Hitchhikers and couch potatoes have an uncanny ability to detect the limits of what they can just barely get away with.

    21. Summary comments from previous students to these ideas

    22. Freshmen versus Senior Freshman ‘I don’t think we’ll need to worry about these types of people once we get out of school.’ Senior ‘There is no doubt that somewhere down the line everyone will meet people like this.

    23. Empowerment ‘I know that I have traits that would allow others to take advantage of me—now I know how they were taking advantage of me. ‘The handout shows how easy it is to be manipulated and how some people make it seem like your fault when it isn’t.’

    24. New self-awareness ‘I sometimes acted sheepishly towards these people.’ ‘I am just too nice sometimes.’ ‘The handout lets me know it’s okay to tell them they need to do more.’

    25. ‘Nice’ people often try motivational techniques that work well on people like themselves. ‘Getting motivated inside yourself to stand up for yourself is hard.’ ‘It was helpful to know that there are people out there that intentionally try to get by as a freeloader.’

    26. Conclusions People are often unaware of how easily they can be manipulated to do another person’s work. Self-awareness of how some forms of altruistic behavior can be taken advantage of can substantially improve team efficiency and workload distribution.

    27. Acknowledgements My colleagues at Oakland University Professor Richard Felder Other past and present teammates worldwide: Research and development U.S. Army (especially SSGT Kelloes) Intractable former fishermen South Pole team (my best teammate—Philip)

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