Presentation Transcript

1. “I get to be her playmate”Childfree People’s Relationships with ChildrenPresented at the 2012 Meetings of theEastern Sociological Society Amy Blackstone University of Maine
2. Project Questions **How is the decision to remain childfree reached and what social responses do these individuals and couples receive about their childfree status?** How do childfree people perceive family? What role does gender play in these processes?
3. Background Childfree: those who have made the explicit and intentional choice not to bear or rear children Theoretical frame: Heteronormative families (Oswald, Blume and Marks 2005) “Doing” rather than “having” family 3 binaries: Gender (man/woman) Sexuality (heterosexual/bisexual) Family (biological/chosen)
4. Data & Method Data 5 heterosexual, married couples (5 men, 5 women) 21 additional participants (5 men, 16 women) Convenience sample Method Intensive interviews with couples, 60-90 minutes Focus groups of 2-5 people each, 90-120 minutes Individual interviews, 45-60 minutes Analysis Inductive approach Recorded & transcribed interviews & focus groups 2 coders; coding independently, then collaboratively
5. Sample Couples Interviews Focus Groups & Individual Interviews
6. Findings: Three Themes Kids Are People, Too Professional Connections Unique Relationships Because Childfree
7. Kids Are People, Too Kids as autonomous beings; some are likeable, some are not Kim: “I am a believer in discipline and not all kids are equally charming to be around. It’s not that I don’t like kids, I just don’t want to necessarily be around some of them all the time.” Bob: “When I go over to people’s houses who have kids, I like playing with the kids. I enjoy it. In fact, it’s often easier to hang out with some people’s kids than with the parents.”
8. Professional Connections Relationships with kids as teachers, therapists, social workers, nannies, and doctors Char: “I’m an education major so I have kids that I work with for that. … I can imagine spending seven hours a day with young children, that’s fun. But I definitely couldn’t imagine spending 24 hours a day with them.” Tanya: “I found that when I was a nanny I became quite attached to those children. I really was. I found I could really feel those feelings.” Kate: “I’ve been able to relate to kids in a certain way and that’s one of the reasons I’ve always wanted to be an educator or a teacher. I feel like I do have the ability to be really patient and I want to make sure that children do have access to advocacy and to adults who aren’t parents.”
9. Unique Relationships Because Childfree Friendships with children Kim: “I get to be her playmate.” Jack: “The kids can see us as a bigger, older friend.” Legal, spiritual, & guardian responsibilities for kids Tanya: “He lived with us for five or six months because we wanted, in a weird way, to help care for an older child. We wanted to provide someone who had so much potential with the opportunity to see a different way of living. ”
10. Summing Up, Next Steps Summing up It’s less about children than it is about parents Many childfree people like children It takes a village Other patterns Most come from happy family backgrounds Simultaneously resist and reify gender Next Steps Continue data collection and analysis Future Friendly Families: a book project on the history, ethics, and cultural impact of childfree families