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Helping Students and Families make Good Decisions . Shirley Cobb Associate Director Counseling & Student Development Center. Mindset List Class of 2012. Most of the students entering college this fall, members of the Class of 2012, were born in 1990.

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helping students and families make good decisions

Helping Students and Families make Good Decisions

Shirley Cobb

Associate Director

Counseling & Student Development Center

mindset list class of 2012
Mindset List Class of 2012

Most of the students entering college this fall, members of the Class of 2012, were born in 1990.

  • They have never “rolled down” a car window.
  • They probably have never heard a phone “ring” or played solitaire with real cards.
  • A Southerner has always been President of the United States.
  • What Berlin wall?
  • MTV has never featured music videos.
  • Thongs no longer come in pairs and slide between the toes.
the first year a time of stress change transition
The First Year: A Time of Stress, Change, & Transition

Who am I?

With whom will I be?

What am I going to do?

the first year a time of stress change transition4
In High School:

Established group of friends

“Big fish in a small pond”

Frequent personal contact with teacher

Dependence: Students rely on parents, teachers, etc. to help make decisions and set limits

Lower academic competition, expectations, and standards; good grades may come with little effort

In College:

A new social network

“Small fish in a big pond”

Faculty available during office hours

Independence: Students make many of their own decisions and set their own limits

Higher academic competition, expectations, and standards; bad grades may come with little effort

The First Year: A Time of Stress, Change, & Transition
from a professor to a student at ohio university
From a professor to a student at Ohio University:

“I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.”

college parenting 101
College Parenting 101

Expect some changes in your student

college parenting 1017
College Parenting 101

Convey your confidence in your student’s ability to succeed

college parenting 1018
College Parenting 101

Let your student prepare to leave home over the summer

college parenting 1019
College Parenting 101

Keep the lines of communication open

early warning signs of a problem include
Early warning signs of a problem include:
  • Calling or going home too frequently
  • Skipping classes
  • Difficulty keeping up with coursework and assignments
  • Exhibiting overconfidence despite contrary evidence
  • Parental notification of student alcohol or drug use
college parenting 10111
College Parenting 101

Allow your student the opportunity to make decisions and solve problems

an alternative title we considered
An Alternative Title We Considered . . .

How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?

the most important thing you can say to your freshman student is
The most important thing you can say to your freshman student is:

What is it that you think you should do about this problem?

safety @ jmu
Safety @ JMU
  • Comprehensive Plan
  • Crisis Communication System
  • Intervention Team
  • Personal responsibility
what risks to my student s safety should cause me the most concern
What Risks to My Student’s Safety Should Cause Me the Most Concern?
  • “Saliency Effect”
  • Most Common Risks
    • Motor Vehicle Accidents
    • Alcohol Poisoning
    • Suicide
    • Illegal & Prescription Drug Abuse
an area in which we d like you to hover a bit
An Area in Which We’d Like You to Hover a Bit . . .
  • Initiate conversations
  • Avoid scare tactics
  • Clear expectations
  • Perceptions vs. reality
  • Be a good role model
  • Repeat the message
let s start right now parent postcards
Let’s Start Right Now:Parent Postcards

1. Write a message to your son or daughter about health and wellness issues.

  • 2. Put the card in the envelope, seal it, and CLEARLY PRINT your child’s:
    • First name
    • Middle Initial
    • Last Name
  • We’ll send the postcard to your student early fall semester
  • 3. Drop off completed postcard:
    • Grafton-Stovall Lobby
    • Warren Hall
college parenting 10122
College Parenting 101

Talk about finances, especially credit cards

a little college credit card trivia
A little college credit card trivia . . .

$2,327

Average credit card debt

for a college student

defining financial emergencies
Defining financial “emergencies”

If you can eat it, drink it, or wear it, then it’s not an emergency.

college parenting 10125
College Parenting 101

Avoid the “empty nest syndrome”

college parenting 10126
College Parenting 101

Learn about support services available to your student

when you re finished here
When You’reFinished Here . . .
  • Business Office
  • CommonWealth One Federal Credit Union
  • Counseling & Student Development Center
  • Dining
  • Financial Aid & Scholarships
  • Health Center
  • Information Technology (computers)
  • Parent Relations
  • Residence Life Open House
free confidential services
Free, Confidential Services
  • Individual counseling
  • Group counseling
  • Psychiatric
  • Consultation (helping you help others) http://www.jmu.edu/counselingctr/Resources/families.html
  • Outreach
  • 24/7 crisis intervention
let s start right now parent postcards29
Let’s Start Right Now:Parent Postcards

1. Write a message to your son or daughter about health and wellness issues.

  • 2. Put the card in the envelope, seal it, and CLEARLY PRINT your child’s:
    • First name
    • Middle Initial
    • Last Name
  • We’ll send the postcard to your student early fall semester
  • 3. Drop off completed postcard:
    • Grafton-Stovall Lobby
    • Warren Hall