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College Friendsickness: Transition Challenges and Coping Strategies

Learn about friendsickness in college, its effects, signs, prevention strategies, and coping skills for students. Addressing the relational challenges faced during the transition to college is crucial for a successful adjustment.

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College Friendsickness: Transition Challenges and Coping Strategies

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    1. FRIENDSICKNESS Erin Klingenberg, M.Ed.; LPCC; NCC Director of Counseling Valley City State University

    2. Friendsickness? ~ What is that? Relational challenge for college students that is induced by moving away from the established network of friends (Paul & Brier, 2001).

    3. Defined: Challenge in the college transition that is distressing and dampening to college adjustment and in need of prevention and intervention efforts so that its effects do not become chronic.

    4. Transitional Period May be decreased sense of competence as a friend (Paul & Brier, 2001). Feeling of loss and grief may be so intense that student has no energy to invest in “forward focusing”.

    5. Backward Focusing -vs.- Forward Focusing Backward Focusing: Preoccupied with losing the established friendships. Forward Focusing: Shift from pre-college friendships to new college friendships.

    6. Senior Year of High School Signs of Potential Problems: Avoidance of post high school decisions Uncharacteristic academic problems Depression Anger Overly consumed with high school friends Social adjustment problems Withdrawn Acting out Alcohol and/or other drug misuse

    7. First Semester ~ College First semester lays the ground work for program completion and attainment. 50% of students experience moderate to high degree of friendsickness. 40% did not include new college friends at the 10 week mark into college (Paul & Brier, 2001).

    8. Psychosocial Maturity Definition: Capacity of an individual to function without the over-influence of parents/friends (Budny & Delaney, 2001). Eliminating parents/friends from the students’ life is NOT the desire; but rather, eliminating the dependency on parents/high school friends.

    9. Signs and Symptoms Feelings of loss and grief/sadness Loneliness Loss of appetite Academic difficulties Abuse of alcohol and other drugs Change in sleep patterns Crying spells Poor choice of friends Anger None

    10. Preparing High School Students Identify expectations: student; family; friends Social adjustment Emotional separation from high school friends for some (age) Recognize poor coping pattern

    11. Addressing Friendsickness Identify family expectations~ how they may contribute to friendsickness Prospective higher education institution~ how do they address transitions Resources available~ referrals Social adjustment~ coping skills Self inventory Family’s transition~ prepare Special population

    12. What Can I Do? Suggestions for the high school counselor… Parent awareness Parent Teacher Conferences Student preparation Presentation to senior classes College student return to HS classes Coping skills identified Referrals

    13. What Can I Do? Suggestions for the Student Affairs Personnel Educate RAs about Friendsickness Educate family members during summer orientation Educate students during summer orientation Counseling Services awareness Educate Academic Advisors

    14. Summary Awareness~ recognize Action~ students; families; Advocate~ prevention Future~ gender; first-generation student; distance from home; age of HS student;

    15. Overview~ Best Treatment is Prevention! Raise the knowledge level of new students and families regarding lifestyle changes (friendships; sharing room; bathroom; cafeteria; etc) Awareness of the resources available to the new student and family members provided through the university/community Helping all parties develop a positive attitude toward the first year of college

    16. Reference: Budny, D.D., & Delaney, C.A.(2001). Working with students and parents to improve the freshman retention. Paper presented at the Frontiers in Education Conference. Reno, NV. Oswald, D.L., & Clark, E.M.(2003). Best friends forever?: High school best friendships and the transition to college. Personal Relationships, 10, 187-196. Paul, E.L., & Brier, S.(2001). Friendsickness in the transition to college: Precollege predictors and college adjustments correlates. Journal of Counseling and Development, 79. 77-87.

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