Parenting Readiness

1. Parenting Readiness

2. How do you know when you are ready to have children? • Marriage Readiness • Financial Readiness • Emotional Readiness • Social Readiness • Intellectual Readiness • Physical Readiness

3. 1. Marriage Readiness • The first years of marriage are for adjusting to the marriage and to build patterns. It is best to NOT add pregnancy to this. • How do kids affect marriages? • Do kids strengthen relationships? • Does having a baby makes a weak relationship weaker?

4. 2. Social Readiness • Your social life will change. • Your child needs to be with you at all times or you must pay for child care. • You will NOT have as much free time.

5. 3. Physical Readiness Exercise 23 – 30 years old is the prime time for mothers to be pregnant. No alcohol, tobacco, or drugs. Eat nutritiously Have Good Overall Health!

6. 4. Intellectual Readiness • Understand the responsibilities and commitments of parenthood. • Know the principles of child guidance. • Understand child development. • It is a lifelong commitment! You cannot give a baby back!

7. 5. Emotional Readiness • You will need to be flexible with your time. • You will need to be able to function with interrupted sleep patterns. • You will need to be patient. • You will need to share your money, resources and time with your child. • You’ll need to be able to deal with the frustrations of a crying child.

8. 6. Financial Readiness • Be Financially stable • Initial expenses: • Doctor • Hospital • Baby Food • Diapers • Car Seat • Furniture • To raise a child to the age of eighteen, it can cost more than $650,000.

9. Why do people have babies?

10. Family Pressure • Peer Pressure • Trapping a Partner • Bring a Couple Closer Together • For Someone to Love • For Companionship During Old Age • Your Religion Encourages It • You Love Children • Belief That It Will Be Fun

11. Why do you think teen parenting be hard?

12. Because teens are NOT READY in any of the domains! Marriage Financially Emotionally Socially Intellectually Physically

13. Teen Pregnancy Pre-Test(True or False) • True • True • True • True • True • True • Teen mothers are twice as likely to die in childbirth. • A child born to a teen mother is twice as likely to die before the age of one. • Teen mothers are twice as likely not to finish high school. • One-half of all welfare payments go to families with teen mothers. • 20% of teen mothers are pregnant again before two years. • 82% of girls who gave birth at age 15 or younger were born to teen parents.

14. Teen Pregnancy Pre-Test, cont.(True or False) • True • False • True • Most teen pregnancies happen by mistake – they were not planned. • If a girl is pregnant, but the boy doesn’t want her to have the baby, he is not responsible for supporting the child financially. • If the father wants custody and the mother doesn't, the father gets custody, because it's his baby.

15. Teen Pregnancy Pre-Test, cont.(True or False) • False • False • False • False • True • If a girl gets pregnant a guy does not need to worry about it if he does not like the girl. • If a guy does not have a regular job, he will not be responsible for child support. • If a couple breaks up after the girl is pregnant, the guy has no responsibility for the child. • It's a girl's fault if she gets pregnant. It's not the guy's problem. • The divorce rate is greater for couples with a pre-marital pregnancy than for those who conceive after marriage.

16. Teen Pregnancy…So what? An overview of the teen pregnancy problem in America Prepared by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy www.teenpregnancy.org

17. Four in ten girls get pregnant at least once before age 20.

18. In the U.S., a teenager becomes pregnant every 26 seconds. That means 100 girls give birth each hour!

19. Statistically Speaking, the consequences of teen motherhood are many: • Less likely to complete high school • Dependence on welfare • Single parenthood • More likely to have more children sooner on a limited income • More likely to abuse or neglect the child

20. Risks to children of teen mothers: • growing up without a father • low birth weight and premature • school failure • mental retardation / birth defects • insufficient health care • abuse and neglect • poverty and welfare dependence

21. How did you feel hearing the baby cry at the beginning of the lesson today? What did it make you want to do? What did you say to your friends sitting next to you?

22. Unfortunately, uncontrollable crying is the number one factor that leads to child abuse by parents. (Especially teen parents!)

23. Crying • There are 4 basic types of cries: 1. The hungry cry 2. The cry of pain 3. The bored or grumbling cry 4. The angry cry • Colic *When the baby cries for no apparent reason. They cry at around the same time of day, every day, sometimes lasting for several hours.

24. consider this When Infants Are Crying, • Babies are too young to understand requests. • Just because it is night does not mean the baby turns off or switches to your schedule. • Check to make sure the baby’s basic needs are met. • Could the baby have colic? • Is the baby ill?

25. What are some things you can do if an infant is crying?

26. Coping with Crying • Walk with the baby • Rock the baby. • Dance with the baby. • Bounce the baby gently in your arms or on your knee. • Take the baby for a stroller ride. • Take the baby for a ride in the car.

27. Let the baby sit in a baby swing. • Provide white noise for the baby (radio, vacuum, TV, etc.) • Divert the baby’s attention with a toy. • Sing to the baby. • Rub the baby’s back. • Massage the baby with a warmed lotion.

28. Wrap the baby snugly in blankets (swaddling). • Feed the baby. • Burp the baby. • Give the baby a pacifier. • Turn off the lights and gently rub the baby’s back. • Let someone else tend the baby for awhile.

29. Turn on the TV so the baby can look at if for a few minutes. • Take the baby outside for a breath of fresh air. • Turn on a music mobile or music box. • Change the baby’s diaper. • Give the baby a warm bath. • Lay down and place the baby on your stomach/chest and rub his or her back.

30. Make sure the temperature of the room is comfortable. • After checking to make sure the baby is not hungry, wet, or in danger,place him or her in the crib, close the door, and call a friend to talk for a minute. Be sure to check the baby at least every 10 minutes.

31. NEVER EVER SHAKE A BABY!!!

32. Shaken Baby Syndrome • Shaken Baby Syndrome (SBS) results from the vigorous shaking of an infant or young child by the shoulder, arms or legs. • A single shaking episode usually results in whiplash-induced bleeding in and around the brain and can lead to death or permanent brain damage. • Infants and young children are more susceptible to SBS because their heads are disproportionately large in relation to their bodies, and their shoulders and neck muscles are weak and underdeveloped.

33. When a young child is shaken, the head whips back and forth, slamming the brain against the hard skull, causing bruising, bleeding and swelling inside the brain. In addition to shaking, don’t ever toss a baby either. The dangers of tossing a child can lead to eye, brain and neck damage.

34. Watch the following clip and identify why this girl was probably not ready for parenthood.

35. Assignment: Watch “Michael’s Story.” After watching the movie, write 1 paragraph, (5 sentences), or more, about how this movie made you feel.

36. Symptoms to Look For… • Child is not able to lift its head up • Head turned to one side • Pupils dilated or pinpointed • Pupils not reacting to light • Spots or pools of blood is visible in eyes • Nausea/Vomiting • Semi-consciousness • Seizures • Spasms • Child is unable to turn head from side to side

37. Forms of Child Abuse • Physical Abuse: • Along with Shaken Baby Syndrome, this includes deliberately injuring a child by hitting, biting, kicking, burning, throwing objects, or anything that physically hurts the child. • Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Drug Addicted babies also fall under physical abuse.

38. Other Forms of Child Abuse • Emotional/Verbal Abuse: • Deliberately injuring a child’s self-concept and emotional well being. This involves verbal attacks, threats or humiliation. Emotional abuse can sometimes be more damaging than physical abuse.

39. Other Forms of Child Abuse • Sexual Abuse: • Any sexual contact with a child, inappropriate touching, fondling, exposure or obscene language. Severe legal penalties will result.

40. Other Forms of Child Abuse • Neglect: • Failing to adequately provide for the child’s safety, as well as physical and emotional needs. Children who are unsupervised also fall under the neglect category.

41. Parenting Readiness TestTake this simple test to determine whether or not you are ready to have children... • THE MESS TEST: • Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. • THE TOY TEST: • Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream. (This could wake a sleeping child.)

42. THE GROCERY STORE TEST: Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage. THE DRESSING TEST: Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag, making sure that all arms stay inside. THE FEEDING TEST: Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. When finished, dump the contents of the jug on the floor and over your clothes.

43. THE NIGHT TEST: Obtain a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10pm. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these until 4 am. Set alarm for 5 am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. INGENUITY TEST Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make a replica of the Eiffel Tower. AUTOMOBILE TEST Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the cassette player. Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

44. THE PHYSICAL TEST (WOMEN): Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to your front under your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans. And try not to notice your closet full of clothes. You won't be wearing them for a while. THE PHYSICAL TEST (MEN): Go to the nearest drugstore. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time. THE FINAL ASSIGNMENT: Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run rampant. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you have all the answers.

45. Personal Readiness Quiz(Agree or Disagree) • I don’t care much about my free time. • I get frustrated easily when things don’t go my way. • Sleeping late is not very important to me. • Routines are boring. • I have a lot of confidence in myself. • I wouldn’t mind spending $400 a month on someone else for the next 18 years. • I would want my child to be just like me.

46. Personal Readiness QuizContinued • I still have years to go before I am fully mature. • I enjoy sharing my possessions with others. • I like going out and doing things when I feel like it. • I sometimes have trouble controlling my temper. • Children get on my nerves. • I feel unprepared to take care of a newborn baby.

47. Personal Readiness Quiz Continued • I feel unprepared to take care of a 6-year-old. • I feel unprepared to take care of a 12-year-old. • I need someone to love me before I can love myself. • I find it easy to be flexible and compromise. • I am a good communicator, listener, and problem-solver. • Household chores are a drag.