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March and April Warm UPs. More sentences to correct… . Fossum English 10/12. Warm Up 52 March 22/23. carl waisted his 1 st year at college by not studying enough and spending to much time at parties. REVISED.

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march and april warm ups
March and April Warm UPs
  • More sentences to correct…
warm up 52 march 22 23
Warm Up 52 March 22/23
  • carl waisted his 1st year at college by not studying enough and spending to much time at parties
revised
REVISED
  • Carl wasted his first year at college by studying too little and partying too much.
wu 53 march 26 27
WU # 53 March 26/27
  • the reason they were so eager to sell tickets is because their trying to re-furbish the old gymnasium
revised1
Revised
  • They were so eager to sell tickets because they're trying to refurbish the old gymnasium.
wu 55 march 28 29
WU#55 March 28/29
  • there is a desire on the part of many of us to maintain a Spring Recess for the purpose of getting away from the demands of our Studies
avoid clich s and bloated writing
Avoid Clichés and Bloated Writing
  • http://www.canadianwriterspocketguide2e.nelson.com/includes/HED/buscomm/PDF/Module21.PDF
much better
Much Better
  • We want a spring recess so we can get away from our studies.

OR

  • We want a spring recess to escape our studies.
wu 56 april 10 11
WU #56 April 10/11

by changing the oil every three thousand miles the car was kept in excellent condition

revised for dangling modifier
Revised for dangling modifier
  • Changing the oil every 3,000 miles, we kept the car in excellent condition.
wu 57 april 12 13
WU #57 April 12/13
  • he was really late to his English class due to the fact that he had to finish his Math test
revising for bloat
Revising for “bloat”
  • He was late for English because he had to finish his math test.
bloated expressions to avoid
Bloated Expressions To Avoid
  • At this point in time . . .“
      • Meaning: Now.
  • "It would be appreciated if . . .“
      • Meaning: Please.
  • "In the month of December . . ."
      • Meaning: In December.
  • "It has come to my attention that . . ."
      • Meaning: Whatever comes after "that."
  • "In the eventuality that . . ."
      • Meaning: If.
  • "At the present time . . .“ Now…
more redundancies
More…Redundancies
  • "Bad mistakes"
      • Use mistakes. All mistakes are bad.
  • "My personal opinion is that . . ."
      • Use my opinion. All opinions are personal.
  • "Repeat again"
    • Use repeat. Repeat means to do again.
  • "Visible to the eye"
      • Use visible. Can anything be visible to anything but the eye?
  • "For the purpose of . . ."
    • Meaning: For.
warm up 58 april 16 17
Warm Up # 58 April 16/17

noone on this bus seem to know they’re way around this part of the city of new york

revision
Revision
  • No one on this bus seems to know his or her way around this part of New York City.
indefinite pronoun agreement
Indefinite Pronoun agreement
  • No one(person)----has? vs. have? the answer
    • People have
  • Everybody----has? Or have? their or his?
    • Every (individual) body of us has his or her answer
  • All of us have
  • Anyone will have their or his/her
  • Any one (person) will have his/her
wu 59 april 18 19
WU #59 April 18/19
  • after reading the original study the article remains unconvincing
revision1
Revision
  • After reading the original study, I remain unconvinced.

(The article did not read the study; a person — I did.)

wu 60 april 20 23
WU #60 April 20/23

7 children were injured in the accident only one required hospitalizing

revised for comma splice
Revised for comma splice

Seven children were injured in the accident; only one required hospitalization.

wu 61 april 24 25
WU #61 April 24/25

do you want turkey spinach and cheese roast beef lettuce and cheese or ham tomato, and cheese asked jim

use semi colons between items on a list already separated by commas
Use semi-colons between items on a list already separated by commas

“Do you want turkey, spinach,and cheese;roast beef, lettuce,and cheese;or ham,tomato, and cheese?”asked Jim.

add the semi colons
Add the Semi-colons
  • I cannot decide if I want my room to be green, brown, and purple green, black, and brown or green, brown, and dark red.
semi colons join items in lists
Semi-colons join items in lists
  • I cannot decide if I want my room to be green, brown, and purple;green, black, and brown;or green, brown, and dark red.
wu 62 april 26 27
WU #62 April 26/27

atticus didn't want scout to fight, however she could not ignore injustices

correcting comma splice
Correcting comma splice

Atticus didn’t want Scout to fight;however,he knew she could not ignore injustices.

wu 63
WU #63

3 reasons why some students drop out of college are problems of to much parting and if they run out of money and if they can’t meet deadlines

slide30

Three reasons why some students drop out of college are problems of toomuch partying, and if they run out of money and if they can’t meet deadlines

revising for better parallelism
Revising for Better Parallelism

Some college students drop out because of academic, financial, or time management problems.

warm up 64 may 2 nd 3rd
Warm Up #64 May 2nd/3rd
  • of the 5 stages of tradegy that artistotle said there is included a stage where a character will make a error in judgement based on them having a tragic flaw
revised2
Revised
  • One of Aristotle’s five stages of tragedy includes a character whose tragic flaw causes him to make an error in judgment.
  • Aristotle’s five stages of tragedy include a character whose tragic flaw causes him to make an error in judgment.
wu 65 may 4 7th
WU #65 May 4/7th

macbeth the thane of glamis finds out that he has been promoted to thane of cawdor , this makes him think about the other witches prophecy

appositive
appositive
  • Macbeth, the Thane of Glamis, becomes Macbeth, the Thane of Cawdor.
  • An appositive is a noun or noun phrase that renames another noun right beside it. The appositive can be a short or long combination of words. Look at these examples:
  • The insect, a tiny ant, is crawling across the desk.
revised3
Revised
  • Macbeth, the Thane of Glamis, finds out that he has been promoted to Thane of Cawdor ; this makes him consider the witches’ other prophecy.
  • Not the other witch’s prophecy
  • Northe other witches prophecy
wu 66 may 8 th 9th
WU #66 May 8th/9th
  • In macbeth a play by shakespeare you realize that the witches are being used by him to control the fate of the characters
the fix
the fix….
  • In macbeth a play by shakespeare you realize that the witches are being used by him to control the fate of the characters
  • Do NOT EVER use YOU in an essay
wu 66 revised
WU #66 Revised
  • Shakespeare uses the witches in Macbeth to control the fate of his characters.
wu 67 may 10 11th
WU #67 May 10/11th
  • writers should spend a great deal of time thinking about their arguments to make sure theyare not superficial.
revision two possibilities
Revision: two possibilities
  • Writers should spend a great deal of time thinking about their arguments to make sure that those arguments are not superficial.
  • Even better:
  • Writers should ensure that their arguments are truly authentic.
wu 68 may 14 15
WU # 68 May 14/15
  • In 1605 king james survives a assassination attempt which was the inspiration for Shakespeare to write Macbeth
revised for consistency in tense nominalization
Revised for consistency in tense, nominalization
  • In 1605 King James survived an assassination attempt, which inspired Shakespeare to write Macbeth.
wu 69 may 20 21
WU #69 May 20/21
  • all of this year we have corrected sentences for comma splices and fragments tenses that isn’t consistent, pronoun agreement errors, if they are punctuated improperly and weather or not they are parallel
better
Better
  • This year we have revised sentences for errors of comma splices and fragments, tense inconsistencies, pronoun agreement problems, punctuation, and parallelism.
another version
Another version
  • We have examined the following errors in sentences: comma splices and fragments; tense consistency; pronoun agreement; punctuation; and parallelism.
may 22 23
May 22/23
  • writing good is a skill you can use your whole entire life, the importance of it can not be underestimated or overlooked
revised for you and well and redundancy
Revised for “you” and “well” and redundancy
  • The importance of writing well can not be underestimated.
  • Writing well is an important life skill.
may 24 25
May 24/25
  • memorial day is a day of remembrance for all of the men and women who died while serving in the united states armed forces, it is also generally used as a marker for the start of the summer vacation season
revised4
Revised
  • Memorial Day is a day to remember the men and women who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces; it also marks the start of the summer vacation season.