5 Most Important Events In Ender’s Life. <Ender’s Game>. April 23 rd , 2175.
They finally took my monitor out—it hurt so much. I feel good that they finally aren’t watching me all the time, but… I also don’t feel the protection I used to have before they took it out. The kids in my school used to not be able to hurt me because the military was watching me all the time, but now that they’re not watching anymore, they can do anything to me. I’m especially scared of Peter, I really don’t know what he’s going to do to me… Maybe he’ll really kill me, beat me up, who knows what he can do! He’ll probably make fun of me for being a useless third, then ask me to play astronauts and buggers… then… kill me! Hopefully then, Valentine could get me out of it, she always does… Plus now I really don’t know what my parents will think of me, the only reason I was born was because the military battle school wanted to watch me and see if I was the type for a trainee in battle school, and now they’ve taken the monitor out… They’ve practically thrown me away… Oh my god what will happen to me?
I can’t believe it. Today at the breakfast table, a man named Graff came and asked me questions about the fight with my classmate, Stilson yesterday… I answered honestly, telling him the reasons I made these choices, but then I felt really bad, and I started crying. I thought I would be punished for fighting with Stilson, but Graff introduced himself as the director of battle school, and guess what he did! He offered me a chance to go to battle school! I was puzzled at first, because they had taken my monitor away, but he told me that that part was my final test, and I had passed. Luckily he liked my reasons I gave him earlier. I accepted, thought not too willingly. I’d miss valentine so much, she loved me so much. I asked about my parents… and Graff told me sadly they wouldn’t miss me because of all the trouble I was causing them, and I reluctantly accepted. I was ready to go to battle school.
Battle school is kind of cool, because its in space. When I was travelling to battle school, I broke someone’s arm, and I felt horrible… I’m afraid I’m becoming Peter. When I got to battle school, there were lots of other kids, some older than me, some younger than me. When I checked the games out and watched for a few games, I knew the controls, they were really easy to catch! Since the other games were too boring, I decided to challenge some older kid, Bernard to play a game with me. He and his friends made fun of me at first, but I beat them on the second and third game of the three and everyone seemed really surprised that it was my first experience and I beat kids that were there longer than me and were older than me in age. Bernard got really mad at me, and he soon formed a group of older kids and created a gang. I had to do something about it, so what I did is I basically hacked a computer system and humiliated Bernard. My friend Shen(who was also made fun of my the older kids) really seemed to admire me. Dap, the guy who’s in charge of us knew it was me, but luckily he didn’t tell Bernard. Phew!
I can’t believe what I did today. I killed Bonzo. I know myself it was for self defense, but I still killed him the same. Well, here’s the story—after a game I took a nap and when I woke up I went to take a bath and I found these 7 boys waiting for me including Bonzo and Bernard, and I remembered the warning that Dink left on my table, but it was too late. I told Bonzo not to hurt me, because I really didn’t want to fight back, but Bonzo leaped for me. I avoided his attack and hit Bonzo in the face with my head. That was enough to hurt him and I couldn’t walked away, but like when I had fought kids at school back on earth, I knew this wasn’t enough, that he’d come back for a revenge, with something maybe even more dangerous. I knocked him on the ground and kicked him in the crotch, but he didn't’t move, and I knew something was up, but I didn’t realize he was dead until the teachers found out about it. I felt so bad I sobbed and sobbed for a while, and I was fearing I’ve become Peter—violent and evil. I realized that adults can’t help me, that I have to stand up for myself, but I still regret what I’ve done to Bonzo. I should've just left when he couldn't have fought back… I feel terrible…
This is probably the worst memory of battle school—the day when the adults tricked me, and I did the worst possible thing—kill a entire species. I thought it was just another game, just with an army with many many more members. Mazor told me that this battle would be my final examination, and I was really happy about it, because I hated this place. I fought wit all my strategies I had learned from my experiences in battle school, and I won the out-numbered enemies, and when I destroyed the planets of the enemies, everyone in the room cheered for me. Only after the battle Rackham told me that I was the commander for the 3rd invasion and I had destroyed the entire species, and that’s when I felt sick to my stomach. I was so mad at Rackham and Graff for using me to destroy the buggers. I couldn’t believe the adults were using me the whole time, from the instant when I was born, to get rid of an entire species, and not even tell me about it. I never really wanted to destroy the buggers in the first place. I really just thought that being able to go to battle school in space was a great privilege, which is the only reason I followed Graff here. So mad…