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Core Needs. Presentation by Geoffrey Roberts. Control, Freedom & Value. Introduction. Our need to feel that we: Are in control Have freedom Are valuable. There are many needs that all people have in common. In this session we are going to look at three of these needs. Needs & morals.

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core needs

Core Needs

Presentation by Geoffrey Roberts

Control, Freedom & Value

introduction
Introduction

Our need to feel that we:

  • Are in control
  • Have freedom
  • Are valuable

There are many needs that all people have in common. In this session we are going to look at three of these needs.

needs morals
Needs & morals

We are most happy when our needs get met in healthy ways.

Our needs trump our morals.

meeting our needs
Meeting our needs

If we can’t find a GOODwayto meet our needs we will acceptANYway to meet our needs.

core needs1
Core needs

Control

  • Order
  • Safety
  • Comfort
  • Security
  • Consistency

Freedom

Value

  • Surprise
  • Excitement
  • Adventure
  • Spice of life
  • Risk
  • Important
  • Significant
  • Unique
  • Respect
  • Honour
being in control
Being in control

Helpful Ways

Unhelpful Ways

  • Be confidence
  • Make ‘you’ a priority
  • Create plans and goals
  • Write down a budget
  • Dress well
  • Develop self discipline
  • Controlling others
  • Bullying people
  • Perfectionism
  • Fear of failure
  • Comfort eating, etc.
  • Anxiety
finding freedom
Finding freedom

Helpful Ways

Unhelpful Ways

  • Adventure
  • Hobbies
  • Creativity
  • Meeting new people
  • Exciting outings
  • Spontaneity
  • Drugs
  • Getting drunk
  • Sleeping around
  • Wild partying
  • Reckless behaviour
  • Melodrama
being valuable
Being valuable

Helpful Ways

Unhelpful Ways

  • Take responsibility
  • Be the driver not the passenger in your life
  • Value yourself
  • Faith & spirituality
  • Honour
  • Boasting or lying
  • Co-dependency
  • Rebellion
  • Putting others down
  • Martyrdom
  • Attachment (me + ?)
slide9

Justice

They get punished

Vengeance

I dishonor them

Dishonour of self

I tell myself a story to justifythe dishonor

(I deserved it, it doesn’t matter;they didn’t know any better)

Forgiveness

I have weighed the dishonor.

I am allowed to feel angry and hurt.

I can choose to forgive.

I am in control and I am significant.

Forgiveness creates an opportunityfor reconciliation.

Honour

important questions
ImportantQuestions
  • Does your need for control stop you from taking risks or trying new things?
  • What good strategies do you have that are working?
  • What strategies are you currently using that aren’t so good?
  • What new strategies could you use in your life?
  • Is there any person that you need to ‘honour’?