Paper 1 FA

1. Paper 1 FA Feedback

2. Common mistakes • 1. Misused words. (however/ have got/ spreaded) • 2. Serious errors in sentence structures • 3. Punctuation • 4. Lapses in logic • 5. Question tags/ rhetorical questions/ general questioning • 6. Sweeping statements • 7. tenses • 8. Over-lifting from source • 9. Wrong use of information

3. Misused words • However – a connector used to show contrast in ideas between sentences. Example: I went to the meeting on time thinking everyone would do the same. However, when I arrived, nobody was there. Important: correct use of punctuation together with however Use a semi-colon (;) before and a comma (,) after however when you are using it to write a compound sentence. Example: The engineers claimed that the bridge was safe; however, they were still not prepared to risk crossing. If ‘however’ is used to begin a sentence, it must be followed by a comma, and what appears after the comma must be a complete sentence.

4. Student examples • Ready made board were available, but many still painstaking made their own. However, in 1936, WladyslawGlinski invented a successful variation of the board with 91 hexes. • Many of us would know what is chess. However, it has a long and rich history. • In both examples, there is no contrast of ideas, hence use of however is unnecessary.

5. Other misuse of words • Chess, surprisingly, has been around for a very long time. People of all ages just cannot seem to get enough of this game. • >It is not surprising at all. • First started in 600 AD, walruses and whales have even sacrificed their tusks and teeth for medieval chessmen to be carved out of. • Many drastic variations of chess have emerged since. • Chaturanga became popular, and even spread to Persia. • > No degree of comparison, no need for ‘even’

6. “You fool, Victor Frankenstein of Geneva, how could you know what you had unleashed? How was it pieced together? Bits of thieves? Bits of murderers? Evil stitched to evil stitched to evil. God help your loved ones.”

7. Lapses in logic • Chess spread to Persia, and over time, the phrase “checkmate” was formed. • > from the spread to Persia, to the formation of “checkmate”, the progression is too quick without proper explanation, only indicated by “and over time”. • Back in Persia, players used the phrase ‘Shah Manad’, which has now evolved into ‘checkmate’. Soon after, in 1770, the Mechanical Turk was unleashed. • > It was more than 1000 years later, not just “soon after”!

8. Lapses in logic (cont’d) • Obsession with chess can be a great deal. It history can be traced back to 1400 years ago. • Together with many others, he was addicted to chess to the extent that he enraged his wife and they divorced. • Finally, in 1919, Marcel Duchamp carved his own set of chess after becoming obsessed with it. • Did you know that different variations of chess have been played for many years? For example, in the year 600 AD, Chaturanga was very popular. • >The second sentence does not follow up with the preceding question. It should, because of ‘for example’.

9. Awkward sentence structures • In the year 600, Chaturanga, an Indian invention, was related to four component pieces of the game: Infantry, cavalry, chariots, elephants. • His obsession was so great that he not only carved his own set, it caused a divorce with his wife, who glued his pieces to the board! • Invented by Wolfgang Von Kempelen, he was a hungarian nobleman, it was the world’s first automated chess-playing machine.

10. Awkward sentence structures • The game is such a beauty that Marcel Duchamp casts off his role as one of the most important artists as he was addicted to chess. • Later on, a farmer on the Isle of Lewis unearthed the most historical chess pieces in the world, and were reproduced for a scene in the movie “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s stone”.

11. Sweeping statements:A sweeping statement is a statement that makes a wide-ranging and complete comment about something, or more often, everything. • In this current day and age, chess is a commonplace thing to us. • Many would question what chess is. • The variations and development of chess leave most people in awe. • All anyone could talk about was the Mechanical Turk.

12. Sweeping statements (cont’d) • The phrase morphed into “checkmate” in no time. • The Mechanical Turk beat its closest opponent Napoleon flawlessly • (The mechanical turk) This was definitely an invention worth unveiling. • (…) taking chess to a whole new level

13. Punctuation • In the game of Chaturanga, player would play with four component pieces, infantry, cavalry, chariots and elephants, until the king was rendered helpless. • In the game of Chaturanga, player would play with four component pieces– infantry, cavalry, chariots and elephants – until the king was rendered helpless. • Over the years there have been many forms and versions of the classic game; and people’s obsession with it has gone on into the 20th century. • Over the years there have been many forms and versions of the classic game of chess, and obsession with it has continued into the 20th century.

14. Punctuation (cont’d) • Chess eventually made it to the big screen; capturing the attention of millions of Harry Potter fans in the years to come. • Chess eventually made it to the big screen, capturing the attention of millions of Harry Potter fans in the years to come

15. Questions and question tags • Have you wondered how chess from various regions came about? (variations of this was used by approx. HALF the class) • > Avoid beginning your paragraph with such questions for the reader. • As you can see, chess really is an amazing game, isn’t it? • > Avoid using question tags.

16. Insight • Presenting information to the reader that is not seen (directly) in the infographic • Presenting information derived from analysis/ understanding of information in infographic

17. May I? • Could you use questions/ brackets/ exclamation marks in your informational text? • Answer: use it only if you HAVE to • Tip: each of these features should be used at most ONCE. The effect of these features would be diminished if used liberally throughout your informational text.