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Making your writing readable. Concise writing. What is concise?. Using most effective words Eliminate weak, unnecessary words. Roy Peter Clark advice. Cut big, then small. Replace vague words with specifics. One powerful word can replace several vague words. . Examples.
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Making your writing readable Concise writing
What is concise? • Using most effective words • Eliminate weak, unnecessary words
Roy Peter Clark advice • Cut big, then small
Replace vague words with specifics • One powerful word can replace several vague words.
Examples • The politician talked about several of the merits of after-school programs in his speech (14 words) • The politician touted after-school programs in his speech. (8 words)
Examples • Suzie believed but could not confirm that Billy had feelings of affection for her. (14 words) • Suzie assumed that Billy adored her. (6 words)
Be a word prosecutor • Does every word add something to the sentence? • Delete dead weight words.
Examples • The teacher demonstrated some of the various ways and methods for cutting words from my essay that I had written for class. (22 words) • The teacher demonstrated methods for cutting words from my essay. (10 words)
Examples • Since she was a little girl growing up in Lincoln, Brown has been a natural learner. (16) • Since she was a little girl in Lincoln, Brown has been a quick study. (14)
Unnecessary words • “in view of the fact” becomes • “because” • “set a new record” becomes • “set a record” • “in the vicinity of” becomes • “near”
Combine sentences • Some information doesn’t need a separate sentence.
Examples • New riders need to learn cycling etiquette. Brown said the riders taught her the basics of cycling. (17) • New riders need to learn cycling etiquette, and Brown said the group taught her the basics. (16)
Examples • The supposed crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. This crash is rumored to have occurred in 1947. (24 words) • The supposed 1947 crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. (16 words)
Eliminate words • Delete words that explain the obvious.
Examples • Imagine a mental picture of someone engaged in the intellectual activity of trying to learn what the rules are for how to play the game of chess. (27 words) • Imagine someone trying to learn the rules of chess. (9 words)
One word at a time • In fall 2006, Brown began training with her current coach, Marc Walter, of Rightway Personal Training. • In fall 2006, Brown began training with coach Marc Walter of Rightway Personal Training.
Modifiers • Eliminate unnecessary words or phrases
Examples • Balancing the budget by Friday is an impossibility without some kind of extra help. (14 words) • Balancing the budget by Friday is impossible without extra help. (10 words)
Cut these • kind of • sort of • really • basically • definitely • actually • generally
Watch for words that repeat • Our branch office currently employs five tellers. These tellers do an excellent job Monday through Thursday but cannot keep up with the rush on Friday and Saturday. (27 words) • Our branch office employs five tellers, who do an excellent job Monday through Thursday but cannot keep up with Friday and Saturday rush periods. (24 words)
Omit redundant pairs • past history • various differences • each individual • true facts • future plans • end result • final outcome • free gift
Omit redundant categories • large in size • often times • period in time • an early time • of cheap quality • in a confused state
Change phrases • Use a single word instead
Examples • The employee with ambition • The ambitious employee • The department showing the best performance • The best-performing department
Who, which, that • Dump unnecessary clauses
Examples • The report, which was released recently, • The recently released report • All applicants who are interested in the job • All job applicants
Make passive verbs active • An account was opened by Mrs. Jones. • Mrs. Jones opened an account. • A training schedule was created by Walter. • Walter created a training schedule.
Avoid these • Starting sentences with “It is” or “There are.” • There are four rules that must be obeyed. • Four rules must be obeyed.
Avoid noun forms of verbs • The function of this department is the collection of accounts. • This department collects accounts.
Avoid unnecessary infinitive phrases • The duty of the clerk is to check the e-mail. • The clerk’s duty is to check e-mail.
Be direct. • At this point in time = now • In regards to = about • It is important that = must • Is able to = can
Credit to: OWL at Purdue • More resources: http://grammar.about.com/od/words/tp/clutter_tips.htm
