Chapter 8 Conversations

1. Inter-Act, 13th Edition Chapter 8 Conversations

2. Chapter Objectives Discuss the characteristics of conversation Describe the ways in which conversations may vary Identify the general guidelines to become a more effective conversationalist Summarize how culture and technology affect conversation

3. Characteristics of Conversations • Interactive • Extemporaneous • Locally managed • Sequentially organized

4. Variation in Conversation 29 different distinct types of conversation common in friendships and romantic relationships • Small talk:exchanging messages about inconsequential (small) topics to meet social needs of participants with low risk • Gossip:exchanging messages about other people who are not present

5. Structure of Conversation • Purpose:what the conversation is intended to do • Sequence: • Turn-Taking:alternating between speaking and listening • Scriptedness:using routine conversational phrases or preplanned conversations • Tone: emotional, relational quality and degree of formality • Participants: intended or unintended audience • Setting: physical and emotional environment

6. Guidelines Develop an other-centered focus. Engage in appropriate turn-taking. Maintain conversational coherence. Practice politeness and face-saving. Protect privacy. Engage in ethical dialogue.

7. Ethical Dialogue Authenticity:direct, honest, straightforward information and feelings Empathy: understanding another’s point of view Confirmation:affirming others as unique individuals (not necessarily approving of views) Presentness:taking time, avoiding distraction, being responsive, risking attachment Equality: treating others as peers, regardless of status Supportiveness:encouraging participation by praising efforts

8. Starting a Conversation Five ways to open a conversation: • Make a comment • Ask a question • Introduce yourself • Pay attention to nonverbal cues

9. Sustaining a Conversation • Use free information:information volunteered during the conversation • Askquestions • Closed-ended: “yes” or “no” answers • Open-ended: more elaboration, explanation • Seek out topics of interest to the other person • Self-disclose appropriately • Actively listen

10. Closing a Conversation Notice and use leave-taking cues (nonverbal behaviors that indicate someone wants to end the conversation). Verbalize your desire to end the conversation. Ask to see the person again if appropriate. Close with a brief stock message.

11. Cultural Variations Low-Context Cultures • Include categorical words such as certainly, absolutely • Relevant comments that are directly to the point • Speaking one’s mind • Silence is uncomfortable High-Context Cultures • Include qualifiers such as maybe, perhaps • Indirect, ambiguous, and less relevant comments • Creating harmony • Silence indicates truthfulness, embarrassment, disagreement

12. Digital Conversation Skills Awareness of audience Degree of conversational spontaneity Abruptness of disengagement Multiplicity of conversations Acceptance of interruptions Notions of privacy

13. Homework Actively choose a conversation partner that you’ve never met or with whom you have had little contact. Practice the communication skills you’ve targeted as your goals, but use the guidelines for holding effective conversations from Ch 8 as well. Write a one-page paper critically thinking about your experience. For example, were you able to hold an effective conversation? Were you able to practice the goals you’ve set for yourself to become a more effective communicator? Why or why not? What factors influenced your communication? What areas would you like to work on more? Follow your rubric, give examples, and discuss applicable areas from your text.