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Friendships can be deeply fulfilling, but they can also suffer from problematic behaviors that strain relationships. Common issues include jealousy or criticism of other relationships, breaking confidences, public criticism, and a lack of emotional support. Understanding personal and situational baggage, such as past relationships and cultural expectations, is vital for healthy interactions. Building strong bonds requires mutual respect, support, and affection, ensuring each friend's needs are met while recognizing complementary or symmetrical dynamics in the relationship.
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MOST PROBLEMATIC VIOLATIONS IN FRIENDSHIPS • BEING JEALOUS/CRITICAL OF YOUR OTHER RELATIONSHIPS • NOT KEEPING CONFIDENCES • CRITICIZING YOU IN PUBLIC • NOT VOLUNTEERING HELP IN TIME OF NEED
NOT SHOWING POSITIVE REGARD FOR YOU • NOT STANDING UP FOR YOU IN YOUR ABSENCE • NOT GIVING EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
RELATIONSHIP “BAGGAGE” • PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP EXPERIENCES • Family
Friends • Romantic Partners • CULTURAL EXPECTATIONS (from magazines, tv, music, movies) • ATTITUDES/VALUES • SITUATIONAL BAGGAGE (lifestyle, children, location)
PERSONAL CHARACTERISTICS • Trait (Personality) or State (Temporary Characteristic) • Loneliness, self-esteem, etc. • Sexual Orientation • Gender Role Identification
Interpersonal Needs • Inclusion • Know people who share your concerns • Know people you can depend on in a pinch • Ready access to one or more really close friends • Know people who respect your competence • Affection • Control
“BAGGAGE” MATCHES AND MISMATCHES • COMPLEMENTARY RELATIONSHIPS • SYMMETRICAL RELATIONSHIPS