JOURNAL WRITE

1. JOURNAL WRITE • What is the PURPOSE of writing an introduction to your essay?

2. Review: Intro Paragraph The Nuts and Bolts • Hook Sentence—try introductory strategies!  • Big Picture—try MORE strategies or EXPLAIN the intro strategies you used in your hook… • Thesis = Topic + Opinion (about topic)(include a list of main points, your PLAN)

3. Starting with a question: to do or not to do • Ask yourself, isn’t there a better, more creative, more interesting way to start my writing? • If the above is actually “no” or you are just plain stumped about how to start (like during the HSPE), make sure that your question can’t be answered “yes” or “no.” If your reader can say “no,” then you’ve lost them.

4. Why not start with a question? • Q: Have you ever wondered…? • A: No. • Q: Have you every been…? • A: No. • Q: Have you ever thought…? • A: No. • Q: Do you like…? • A: Yeah. What’s it to you?

5. Ineffective Introductions Phrases to AVOID: • I hope you enjoy… • You are going to learn about… • This essay/letter is about… • I am going to tell you about… • In these paragraphs…

6. Introductory Paragraph Strategies Expository Essays

7. Definitions / Notes to Self • Quotations: Using a famous or often heard by you quote that thematically ties into your topic. • Scenario/Anecdote: Provide hypothetical or personal examples to illustrate your topic. • Inquiry/Questioning: Ask thought-provoking, edgy, and OPEN-ended questions to capture the reader’s interest. • Preparatory Information/Overview: Define or explain the subject before discussing it in detail.

8. Mistakes topic with a QUOTE “Pick yourself up and dust yourself off.” That’s what my grandpa always used to tell me whenever I screwed up big time. He believed we should never give up, and when we mess up, we have to figure out how to make things right or how to learn from the mistake and move on. I didn’t get a chance to run the 200 meter race again in high school, but when I went to college…

9. Favorite Activity topic with a QUOTE “You have to get involved. Take chances. Be brave.” These are words I often heard from my grandfather when I was a little kid. He believed we need to try new things. It’s because of him I had the courage to go out for track…

10. Mistakes topic with a SCENARIO Picture this: It’s 2:58 on a cold, breezy, rain-shattering afternoon. You hear the coach yell, “Runners take your mark! Get set! GO!” and off you rocket, stride stretched, heart pounding, gut BURNING as you round the corner of the track into the home stretch. But you do something so STUPID, you actually glance to either side of you to gauge where your competition is! It costs you the race. In those split seconds, your 200 meter rival leans forward and takes first place.

11. Favorite Activity topic with a Scenario Imagine this: It’s 1:58 in the afternoon… school is almost out and all you can think about is that tryout. You’ve been practicing hard all week, putting in long hours. You’ve been laying in bed, unable to sleep, visualizing how tryouts will go, trying to stay positive and think the best, when suddenly the bell rings. You’re up. Moment of truth… That’s how I felt the day I went out for track.

12. Mistakes topic with a QUESTION What is the biggest mistake you have ever made in competition for something you loved? For me, it was taking precious seconds to look at my competitors during my last 200 meter race in my high school career. It cost me first place.

13. Favorite Activity topic with a Question What is the furthest distance you have ever run? I had never run further than a mile…until I went out for my high school’s track team.

14. Mistakes topic with Prep Info or an Overview (Definition) Track and Field are really two different things. Track involves all the running events, including relays and hurdles. Field involves everything else: shot put, javelin, high jump, etc. I don’t compete in the field events…

15. Favorite Activity topic with Prep Info or an Overview (Definition) Track and Field are really two different things. Track involves all the running events, including relays and hurdles. Field involves everything else: shot put, javelin, high jump, etc. I don’t compete in the field events… The Same Overview or Definition can work for MULTIPLE essay topics! 

16. FULL Intro Paragraph using Scenario & Quotes It’s 2:58 on a cold, breezy, rain-shattering afternoon. You hear the coach yell, “Runners take your mark! Get set! GO!” and off you rocket, stride stretched, heart pounding, gut BURNING as you round the corner of the track into the home stretch. But you do something so STUPID, you actually glance to either side of you to gauge where your competition is! It costs you the race. In those split seconds, your 200 meter rival leans forward and takes first place. I will never forget that day I blew my last 200 meter race in high school track. But I learned from it. I took my grandfather’s advice: “Pick yourself up and dust yourself off.” I went on to the University of Oregon where I excelled on the college track scene, and then I applied those same words to life after college.

17. FULL Intro Paragraph using Scenario & Quotes It’s 2:58 on a cold, breezy, rain-shattering afternoon. You hear the coach yell, “Runners take your mark! Get set! GO!” and off you rocket, stride stretched, heart pounding, gut BURNING as you round the corner of the track into the home stretch. But you do something so STUPID, you actually glance to either side of you to gauge where your competition is! It costs you the race. In those split seconds, your 200 meter rival leans forward and takes first place. I will never forget that day I blew my last 200 meter race in high school track. But I learned from that mistake. I took my grandfather’s advice: “Pick yourself up and dust yourself off.” I went on to the University of Oregon where I excelled on the college track scene, and then I applied those same words to life after college. SCENARIO Transitions THESIS

18. THESIS: I went on to the University of Oregon where I excelled on the college track scene, and then I applied those same words to life after college. Body Paragraph 1 Body Paragraph 2 Beyond College Reinforce how what I learned in high school impacted my success in college and beyond. Detail 1: Example of a really bad day in student teaching—how did I learn from it? Anecdote? Facts? Detail 2: Descriptive details of the pressure of the teaching job interview. Use Dialogue? Him: “How can we get you here?” Me: “Well my husband is also looking for a teaching position…” • University of Oregon • How did that 200 meter high school race mess up affect how I ran track in college? • Detail 1: Anecdote about another race where I felt unsure but persevered? (throw in facts—dates, times, places!) • Detail 2: Quote from college coach to highlight EXAMPLES of other races. • Detail 3 (optional)

19. Sample #2 Introduction for “Mistakes” Expository Essay Prompt Hook We’ve all screwed up. Let’s face it, at some point in our lives, we’ve all done something, said something we later came to regret. But—if we let it—our mistake maybe helped us become a slightly better person. My personal experience with making a mistake has taught me talk to people about how I feel. I have learned to be a better communicator with new friends, at my job, and in my marriage. Big Picture THESIS …The Bare necessities…

20. Sample #2 with an ANECDOTE! We’ve all screwed up. Let’s face it, at some point in our lives, we’ve all done something, said something we later came to regret. But—if we let it—our mistake maybe helped us become a slightly better person. When I was a senior in high school, I made the terrible mistake of telling a friend I was frustrated with ALL her flaws. In my anger, I wrote her an ugly letter that I regret to this day because our friendship never fully recovered. Regret aside, though, that experience taught me talk to people about how I feel before letting things get so bad ever again. I learned to be a better communicator with new friends, at my job, and in my marriage.

21. Sample #2 LABELED Hook We’ve all screwed up. Let’s face it, at some point in our lives, we’ve all done something, said something we later came to regret. But—if we let it—our mistake maybe helped us become a slightly better person. When I was a senior in high school, I made the terrible mistake of telling a friend I was frustrated with ALL her flaws. In my anger, I wrote her an ugly letter that I regret to this day because our friendship never fully recovered. Regret aside, though, that experience taught me talk to people about how I feel before letting things get so bad ever again.I learned to be a better communicator with new friends, at my job, and in my marriage. Big Picture Anecdote Transition THESIS

22. TODAY & Friday • Look at your INTRO paragraph • Do you have a HOOK sentence? Any of the intro strategies? A thesis statement? • Even if YES to the above—how can you IMRPOVE your intro? • Begin revision of introductory paragraph on a SEPARATE sheet of paper. LABEL the intro strategies you are trying. • STAPLE revision to the TOP of all your pages. • REQUIRED: HAVE YOUR BOOK TOMORROW!

23. Journal Write ***Have out: Expository Benchmark Essay (MISTAKES = OPPORTUNITY FOR LEARNING) and your PINK strategies sheet!*** • Which INTRODUCTION strategies are you going to try using or improving in your current intro paragraph?

24. TODAY! REVISE YOUR INTRO PARAGRAPH! • In your INTRO make sure you have: • Hook & Big Picture(quote, scenario/anecdote, question) • Thesis Statement (the plan/ROADMAP for your reader) • Revision FORMAT: • REVISED intro paragraph on a NEW piece of paper. • All strategies clearly LABELED. • Revision Stapled to the TOP of ALL your pages. • DONE? Read your NOVEL. Work on your Living Dictionary. Do NOT distract others. Respect.