Larry LiverGoes Looking For Love An Organic Love Story
Meet Larry Liver One day Larry decided he was tired of being lonely and was ready for a stable relationship. He worked constantly. He never took a day off because his organization could not function one second without him. So, while at work, Larry posted an ad on a singles website to look for love. Larry described himself in his profile as follows…
Describe Yourself/Add Photo • I am the largest glandular organ in the body • I weigh about 3 lbs • I am located behind the rib cage on the right side of the abdomen • I am reddish brown in color • I measure about the size of a small football • As much as ¾ of me can be removed and I can regenerate within a few weeks • My nickname is Hepar
Describe Your Occupation • Larry posted his employer’s organizational chart in his ad to help explain his job function….
My Job Duties • I am responsible for some 500 vital functions. • I process virtually everything you eat, drink, breathe, or absorb through the skin. • I convert food into energy and the building blocks for muscle tissue, hormones, clotting factors, and immune factors. • I store glucose and many vitamins and minerals for later use. • My cells produce bile, which helps digest food (especially fats) and absorb nutrients. • I detoxify substances that are harmful to the body, like alcohol, drugs and toxins
My Turn Offs • Drugs/Medications • Excessive Alcohol Use • Environmental Toxins & Chemicals • Viral Infections • Bacteria
Larry Searches For Love Larry searches other ads posted by potential singles. He discovers the following profiles….
HEPATITIS A • I love unsanitary conditions. • I live in the feces of people. • I can survive outside the body on objects and surfaces for several weeks and in water for up to 100 days. • I transmit via fecal-oral contact like rimming, changing diapers, feces contaminated water/ice, raw/undercooked shellfish or food handled by someone with acute HEP A. • I have a paternal twin named Hepatitis E.
Larry Thinks About HEP A • Hepatitis means inflammation of the liver. • Hepatitis A is a viral infection. • Hepatitis A is acute (short-term) and does not cause chronic (long-term) infection. • Two (2) doses of vaccine (Havrix or VAQTA) are needed for lasting protection.
Hepatitis B • I love blood to blood contact • I love shared injection drug equipment • I love glass pipes • I love unprotected sex • I love tattoos made with shared needles and ink • I love to infect newborn babies • I love rolled up bills and straws for doing lines • I love contaminated surgical equipment • I love shared razors, toothbrushes, nail clippers that are contaminated • I have a dependent paternal twin named Hepatitis D.
Larry Thinks About HEP B • Hepatitis B is also viral infection. • Hepatitis B is a chronic (long-term) infection. • Hepatitis B is 100 times more infectious than HIV. • Vaccines (Recombivax HB or Energix-B) for Hepatitis B are available: 3 doses are standard, however, not always necessary. (screening- “dose-n-draw”) • One (1) dose provides 50% protection, two (2) doses provide 85% protection, and three (3) doses provide 96% protection. • Hepatitis B is common among people living with HIV. • 5% - 10% of adults develop chronic infection.
Hepatitis C • I love blood to blood contact • I love shared injection drug equipment • I love glass pipes • I love wild unprotected sexual activity with multiple • known and unknown partners • I love tattoos/body piercings made with shared needles • and ink • I love shared household items, razors, scissors, • toothbrushes, nail clippers etc. • I love rolled up bills and straws for doing lines • I love contaminated surgical equipment • I love blood transfusions/organ transplants occurring • before July 1992 • I can survive even in dried blood anywhere from 16 hours to 4 • days and up to 63 days in syringes.
Larry Thinks about HEP C • Hepatitis C is a viral infection, as well. • Hepatitis C is acute (short-term) initially but is a chronic (long-term) infection. • A vaccine for Hepatitis C is not available. • 80% of adults develop chronic infection. • Hepatitis C is transmitted more easily than HIV through shared injection drug equipment.
Larry Makes A Decision • HEP A and HEP E are acute viral infections that irritatethe liver for a short period of time. 99% of those who are vaccinated will never get HEP A even if they are exposed to it. • HEP B and HEP D are chronic viral infections that are 100 times more infectious than HIV. The vaccination will suppress viral replication/stop disease progression, but the antibodies will always remain. • HEP C is a chronic viral infection for which a vaccine does not exist and re-infection can occur with repeated exposure. Monitoring and treatment manages liver disease progression.
Fortunately For Larry He has decided not to date any of the Hepatitis Sisters because each would cause him much aggravation on many levels. He does not like the company they keep and when you date triplets, things become very complicated. Larry has decided to remain single, healthy, and happy. So, he goes to the company office party alone…
Connections Casey and Eddie Rudd 1195 StoneRidge Dr #3 Bozeman, MT 59718 406-556-1139 www.mtconnections.org email@example.com firstname.lastname@example.org