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COUNSELLING GUIDELINES FOR PARENTS. “ a stage in life when the slightest turn towards the wrong will spoil character” Baba. WORLD HEALTH ORGANISATION Adolescence . The age span of 10-19 years in the life of a human being…… Youth The age span of 15-24

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a stage in life when the slightest turn towards the wrong will spoil character baba
“a stage in life when the slightest turn towards the wrong will spoil character” Baba

WORLD HEALTH ORGANISATION

Adolescence.

The age span of 10-19 years in the life of a human being……

Youth

The age span of 15-24

in the life of a human being…..

identity crisis
Identity Crisis

Adult?? Child? ? Who am I???

slide6

Economic independence

Unstableemotions

Resentment of Authority

present day challenges for parents
Present Day challenges for parents
  • Influence of Media, TV, Movies etc
  • Money Power
  • Fast foods
  • Elevation in women’s status
recognising problem signs
Recognising problem signs……

Disturbing/non co operative behaviour

  • Arguing with siblings
  • Teasing,etc
  • Lack of concentration/Distraction
  • Disobedience
  • Closed Communication
  • Fear/Anxiety of…..
  • exams
  • teacher
  • one of the parents
  • a bully in the class
definitions
DEFINITIONS

“Counselling is a process that leads to

healing, growth and change.’’

(Dr .B.J.Prashantham)

EMPATHY

ENCOURAGEMENT

EMPOWERMENT

ENRICHMENT

EDUCARE

The 5Es

slide11

BASIC

LISTENING AND RESPONDING

slide12

LISTENING

  • SUPERFICIAL
  • PART/SELECTIVE
  • ATTENTIVE

story

communication research dr albert mahrabian
CommunicationResearch(Dr Albert Mahrabian)

Words-Verbal 7%

Body language-55%

Voice-Paralinguistic 38%

Mehrabian -communication theory

slide15

Listen to your child with full attention.

  • Lack of communication leads to misunderstanding.
  • Answer your child’s questions, do not avoid them
  • This builds trust and faith

Chinnakatha dolls

slide16

RESPONDING

SKILLS

slide17

GUIDELINES

FOR PARENTS

slide18

COMMUNICATION BLOCKERS

  • Admonishing

What’s wrong with you?

Why have you done this?

  • Moralising/LABELLING

You are such a bad student.careless fellow!

You should be ashamed of yourself!

  • Humiliating

I am disappointed in you.

I did not expect this of YOU.

  • Sympathising\Sarcastic

Oh! , that’s really bad! Poor thing! You can only be

a street vendor if you don’t study

guidelines
GUIDELINES
  • DON’TS

1.Dont advice, preach, moralise, compare

2. Avoid ‘have to’, ‘should/should not’, ‘must /must not’ etc

Avoid ‘why’ question as far as possible

slide20
DO’S
  • Use Reflective responses
  • A. Reflection of content
  • B. Reflection of feelings

SUMMARISE!

  • It shows understanding and Empathy
styles of parenting
STYLES OF PARENTING

Uninvolved

No LOVE or LAW

Autoritarian/Autocratic

ONLY LAW

Permissive

Too much anuraga

attachment LOVE

Authoritative

LAW+LOVE

slide22

P

E

R

S

O

N

A

L

I

T

y

D

O

M

A

I

N

S

slide23

Physical

Development

slide24

“Do all household work as acts of worship for Him: that is more fruitful than hours of meditation,hours gained by entrusting this precious work to paid helpers.”

slide25

Intellectual

Development

(education/experience)

Recent structural MRI studies have demonstrated that the brain undergoes considerable development during adolescence.

“Education is for life, not for a living” Baba

emotionaldevelopment
EmotionalDevelopment

Aware of feelings/emotions

Coping with emotions

Understanding others emotions

Self concept

“Love is the undercurrent of human life;Man will be able to manifest his innate divinity only when he develops love within” Baba

spiritual development
Spiritual Development

Character!

“Sow a seed of good thought

Reap aharvest of good action

Sow a seed of good action

Reap a harvest of good habit

Sow a seed of good habit

Reap a harvest of good character

Sow a seed of good character

Reap a harvest of good destiny”

Baba

slide28

Transformation Tools

The 5 techniques

  • Silent sitting / Guided visualisation
  • Prayer/Chanting
  • Group Singing
  • Story-telling /Play acting
  • Group Sevaactivities

The Spiritual Tool Box

used IN BAL VIKAS

5 relationships that make the home
5 Relationships that make the Home

Love

1 Spouse Bond

Relationship Husband & Wife

2Power Structure

Empowerment of Family Members

3 Family Time

Activities & Customs

4 Communication

Mode of communication within the family

5 Awareness & Connectivity

Spiritual Belief, Network of

Friends & Relatives

Dharma

Peace

Truth

Non-Violence

1 spouse bond
1.SPOUSE BOND

“UNDERSTANDING FIRST,

ADJUSTMENT NEXT”

Baba

Love

2 empowerment of spouse
2. EMPOWERMENT OF SPOUSE.

“HOME IS THE DWELLING PLACE OF RIGHT CONDUCT .

A HOME IS A HOME IF BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE ARE

HONOURED AND RESPECTED WITHIN IT.SUCH A HOME

IS THE HAVEN OF PROSPERITY AND PEACE.”Baba

slide32

3.FAMILY TIME

“PARENTS CAN IMPART ELEMENTS OF THEIR CULTURE AND VALUES WHEN THEY SHARE

PRIME FAMILY TIME WITH CHILDREN.” Baba

BAD TIMES ARE TESTING TIMES (coping skills)

PEACE

COOPERATION,

APPRECIATION

RECREATION

SHARING

4 communication
4.COMMUNICATION

“50% OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS LISTENING.

IF YOU GIVE AN EAR TO OTHERS ,THEN OTHERS WILL GIVE AN EAR TO YOU.”

RESPECT, EMPATHY,

HONESTY

AWARENESS OF

OTHERS’ FEELINGS

words
Words!
  • “Words can confer strength:they can drain it off.”
  • “Power of the atom bomb” Baba
slide35

5.AWARENESS & CONNECTIVITY

Cultural activities, functions, festivals etc sense of oneness, and belonging, connectivity-

SELF AWARENESS, SPIRITUAL ACTIVITIES,

PRAYER AND DEVOTION

slide36

“Have

Constructive thoughts,

Consoling words, and Compassionate acts”

Baba

slide37

HOUSE RULES

(Routine and Boundaries)

Prayer

Bedtime

Quiet/homework

Household Chores

Family activities

Allowance

Consequence

Rules

“Discipline is needed in every aspect to maintain the right course of life.”

Baba

No rules land

remember
REMEMBER!
  • Don’t label your child..
  • Correct only the wrong behaviour

Labels:

You are stupid

You are foolish

You are so slow

guidelines1
GUIDELINES
  • Acceptance and warmth
  • Loving friendly approach
  • Realistic expectations
  • Remembering the
  • divine connectivity
guidelines2
GUIDELINES
  • Focus on ‘here and now’
  • Immediate acknowledgement of wrong or right
  • Allow them to be part of family conversations, decision making…
self concept self esteem
Self-Concept Self esteem

The Empty

self esteem

pot

slide43

SELF EMPOWERMENT!

Self Satisfaction

SELF-CONFIDENCE

Self Sacrifice

Self Realisation

slide45

Exemplar/Role Model

The primary responsibility of a parent is to mould the character of the child.” Baba

“BE, DO ,AND THEN TELL”

baba says
Baba says

“Parents must feel that they are servants appointed by the Lord to tend the little souls that are born in their households, as the gardener tends the trees in the garden of the Master.”