RCCG The King’s PalaceFamily Life MinistryFocus of the Family Tuesday, December 4, 2012 2012 Family Life Teaching Summary
1st quarterfocus/theme: FAMILY VALUES & QUALITY OF RELATIONSHIPS
January - Courageous Movie IMPACT OF FAMILY VALUES ON THE QUALITY OF RELATIONSHIPS
Key Movies Characters • Mitchells • Adam (father) • Victoria (wife) • Dylan (Son) • Hayes • Nathan (father) • Kyla (wife) • Shane Fuller (jailed police) • Martinez • Javier (father) • Carmen (wife) • David Thomson (rookie officer)
Value System • A value system is a set of consistent values and measures. • Value denotes something's degree of importance or relative worth with the aim of determining what action or life is best to do or live
Values or Value System? • What are examples of things affected by our value system? • Relationships • Education (type/level/quality) • Choices/Decisions • Attention/Focus/Priorities • Friendships (choice of friends)
Pressures vs. Values • Pressure at work will prevent you from creating time for your teenager (e.g. to run together as in the case of Adam & Dylan in the movie courageous ) • Unless you have a value system that causes you to evaluate the impact of your action and decisions on your relationships!
Circumstances vs. Values • Negative circumstances and life’s challenges can cloud your judgment and prevent you from maintaining a positive outlook of faith in God and His Word/Promises, unless you have a value system that causes you to look at your glass as half full rather than half empty! …and ultimately reflect on your relationships.
Opportunity Cost & Values • In our day to day life, we always are confronted with the need to make a choice between two or more alternatives • Our values or value system is the key tool for identifying the alternative to forgo!
Values Systems & Movie • Absent Fathers (e.g. Nathan Hayes Father) • Kids 20x more likely to end up in prison • Not necessarily physically absent fathers, how about physically present fathers, but emotionally absent (e.g. Adam Mitchell in the beginning) • Daughter’s dance request denied (not important) • Son’s run request denied (too busy)
Reminder: As We Close 2012 It Is Recommended to Revisit Your Family Vision & Values Worksheet
RCCG The King’s PalaceFamily Life MinistryFocus of the Family Tuesday, February 28 - 2012 MARRIAGE SEMINAR RECAP: KEY LEARNING POINTS THE IMPORTANCE & POWER OF PARENTAL BLESSINGS
Marriage Seminar Recap Session 1: 4 Foundational Laws of Marriage • You have 100% chance of success in marriage if you do it God’s way! • You may love each other but if you violate the laws of marriage you set yourself up for failure • #1: Law of priority – leave & cleave • sacrifice, time, energy, attitude • #2: Law of pursuit • Don’t take each other for granted
Marriage Seminar Recap Session 1: 4 Foundational Laws of Marriage • #3: Law of possession • Share everything, avoid dominance & selfishness • Don’t make major decisions independent of your spouse’s inputs • #4: Law of purity • Be careful about everything you do… • Take responsibility for your mistakes
Marriage Seminar Recap Session 2: • Don’t ride your emotions in the marriage relationship • Romance is speaking love in your spouse’s language Session 3: • We need relationship with God (individually & as a couple) for a healthy marriage
Marriage Seminar Recap Session 3: • The worst marriages is made up of two masters in love • The greatest marriages is made up of two servants in love • Foster “win-win” situations and environment
Marriage Seminar Recap Session 4: • Parenting is more caught than taught (regardless of what we say to our children, the video is constantly playing through our actions) • In-Laws – Honor them, but maintain emotional separation from them • Children – Love them; don’t follow them emotionally into their own marriage
Marriage Seminar Recap Session 5/6: • Deal with destructive behaviors = criticism, control & dominance, emotional check-out, cruelty & abuse, defensiveness • Don't be friends with individuals that do not take their marriage covenant seriously
RCCG The King’s PalaceFamily Life MinistryFocus of the Family THE IMPORTANCE & POWER OF PARENTAL BLESSINGS
What is Blessing? • Blessing - positive pronouncement or declaration over a person, situation, etc. • Blessings is the opposite of cursing (negative pronouncement / declaration) • A blessing is not one until it is spoken…
Why is it important to bless your family? • Proverbs 18:21 - Deathandlife are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. • Death = Curse • Life = Blessing • They that love (understand and take advantage of its value ) • shall eat (be blessed) • with its fruit (produce/product) • Proverbs 18:7 -A fool's mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul. (KJV)
Family Values - Blessing • Develop the value system of blessing your family: • Consistently positive pronouncement over your spouse and children • Parents should pronounce blessing on your children daily as they step out of the house
Summary • As parents we have an opportunity to shape or influence the direction and destiny of our children through bestowing of parental blessings • We have the power through parental authority and the power of the tongue • Others might say the same thing over your children and it will not “stick”, but when you say it God honors your words! • Value blessing your family members continually!
Focus on the Family March: Improving the quality of our Relationships 1 Peter 3:8-12
Relationship can be classified into two groups, namely: Healthy and Unhealthy relationship. What is an unhealthy relationship?
An unhealthy relationship is a relationship that is sick… • It is an unhappy relationship. • It is a relationship that is not sound. • It is a weak relationship. • It is an abnormal relationship not in a state of good or normal health; in an unsound, weak, or morbid condition.
What are the causes of unhealthy relationships? Never admitting wrong doing (Saul) Taking the other person for granted Not being responsive to the feelings of the other person Not spending time together Always wanting to have your way Always talking and not listening Lack of trust Lack of integrity Lack of tolerance Pride Superiority complex Lack of Christ
What are the consequences of unhealthy relationship? Divorce Bad behavior Lack of communication Repression of feelings and thoughts Selfishness Secrecy Disobedience Anger Judgmental Hatred Abuse (verbal, emotional ,physical) Unanswered prayers 1 peter3:7 Death
How do we improve our relationship? Don’t be a mind reader Say sorry Don’t take the other person for granted Be reasonable in the method of teaching (headship is not making all the decisions) Be responsive to the feelings of the other party Spend time together (there is something more than making a living, it is sharing lives) Don’t be judgmental Respect each other
How do we improve our relationship? Give gifts (not necessarily expensive) Love each other (1peter 1:22b) Talk and allow the other to talk also Putting our knowledge into action (we like to learn new ways but refuse to put what we have learnt into action). Live peaceably (it is the duty of a Christian not only to embrace peace when offered, but to seek and pursue it when it is denied). Putting on the grace of God ( the longer we wear the grace of God, the brighter and better God’s grace is on our lives.
What is a Healthy Relationship? A relationship that is one minded, compassionate, tenderhearted, courteous, full of love, life, good days, no evil, no deceit, a relationship that doeth good, is peaceful it is an answer to prayers. Is this kind of relationship possible? Yes…1 Peter 3:8-12
How can we sustain a healthy relationship? Have respect for each other not fear Talk about your goals, challenges, etc. Discuss successes and failures easily without fear or shame Keep doing whatever works for your home, don’t compare your home with others Pray together
2nd – 3RD quarter focus/THEME: EFFECTIVE family finance MANAGEMENT the purpose driven family
Financial Freedom Financial Literacy: Knowing What You Need To Know To Achieve Your Financial Goals. Basic Finance Management is required to move the “Upward Way” Don’t get entangled in the “21st Century Slavery Syndrome” CREDIT FACILTIES The LORD shall increase you more and more, you and your children. Psalm 115:14 Opportunity cost of a decision is the value of the next best alternative that must be forgone Allows you to analyze the consequences of choices to decide which trade-offs to make • What is entailed in family finance? • Budget • Education • Health care • Child care • Managing risk, insurance • Create wills • Instill financial literacy
Causes of Financial Stress WHAT ARE THE COMMON REASONS WHY PEOPLE OVERSPEND? • Individual financial behaviors • Emotions • Personality • Individual attitudes about money • Impulsive buying • Excessive materialism • Preoccupation with status or social image • Lack of financial understanding • No family budget • Where there is a budget, actual expenses not tracked for follow-up • Low understanding of investment options & strategy • The “Other People’s Money” syndrome. (Credit mentality – The ability to borrow, that allow you to buy things you can really afford to buy.SATAN Antics – “Live now and pay later.” (Master Deception)
Consequences of financial stress What are the consequences? • Unnecessary stress/strain through debt • Foreclosure • Sickness and Depression - May lead to Suicide • Premature death • Imprisonment due to funding of expensive lifestyle • Divorce • Murder • Stealing/Robbery • Illicit sex • Drugs (Usage and Trafficking) Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour 1 Peter 5:8
Planning • What is planning? • Definition: a drawing produced to show the look and function or workings of a building, garment, or other object before it is made: • To formulate a scheme or program for the accomplishment, enactment, or attainment of: plan a campaign. ( plan of attack, course of action • To have as a specific aim or purpose; intend: plan to buy a house, pension plan • To draw or make a graphic representation of a design, structure, configurations etc. • Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now.(Lakein, Alan- American Time Management Expert Author Trainer) • You win not by chance, but by preparation.(Maris, Roger 1934-1985 American Baseball Player)
Budgeting • What is budgeting? • Your budget is the heart of your personal finance life. Effective budgeting starts with understanding how you spend your money and evaluating your current spending habits. (Goals and Objectives) • Having a written budget is essential to getting your finances under control. If you do not have a written budget it is hard to know if you are living within your means and saving enough money for your long term goals. • Budgeting Tips • Budgets are a necessary evil. • Creating a budget generally requires three steps. • Identify how you're spending money now. • Evaluate your current spending and set goals that take into account your long-term financial objectives. • Track your spending to make sure it stays within those guidelines.
Saving • What is saving? • Preservation or redemption – The activity of protecting something from loss or danger.Self-preservation - preservation of yourself from harm; a natural or instinctive tendency • Conservation - Economy or avoidance of waste The preservation and careful management of the environment and of natural resources. Avoidance of excess expenditure; economy. • Reduction in cost or expenditure e.g. a saving of 20cent. • Anything saved (Plural) money saved for future use. Reservation - the act of keeping back or setting aside for some future occasion
Quick Tips • Have regular discussions about money • communication about money is always a good defense against cost and unforeseen expenses. • Set up a regularly scheduled family financial meeting with your spouse to plan, discuss spending and review your goals. • Having a healthy discussion about money and working together will improve your marriage and your saving account balance.
Quick Tips • Control spending • Very good defensive strategies - • Every good budget will have common categories of entertainment, food, transportation, etc. Your job? Go download the spending guidelines from internet and compare to what you’re spending. - See Typical Example • Useful Links http://www.mymoney.gov/myresources.html http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi4268949529/- Confessions of a Shopaholic Trailer (Confessions of a Shopaholic: Trailer #1)
Topic Teaching Children About Money Management (Like Father, Like Son ; Like Mother, Like Daughter) Texts Text #1 – Luke 15: 11 – 24 Text #2 – Proverbs 22:6
Text #2 – Proverbs 22:6 6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (KJV)
What is the right age to teach children about money? • No specific timeline • From the day they learn numbers and counting For Children: • Meet them where they are to get into their world (goofing around in backyard…dressing baby dolls) For Teens: • By example – most effective • Restraint with purchases
Tips about money • It’s not more or little money; it’s about living within one’sfinancial means • Treat money as money should be treated, be good to it and take care of it • Always be aware of where your money is going • Never buy what you can’t pay for • No matter how much you make, put away a percentage of it for an emergency
What happens when we don’t teach or train about money? According to our text: • They will misemploy their thoughts and the power of their souls • They will misspend their fortune and time • They will miss the opportunity to learn, understand and know what money means • They will be poor and be in want • They will keep coming back to us • They will always be full of envy and jealousy
Q3 Focus on The Family Purpose & Potential The Purpose Driven Family Potential & Divine Purpose Understanding Your God Given Potential Releasing Your Potential (Part 1) Releasing Your Potential (Part 2) Maximizing your Potential & Fulfilling God’s Purpose • Understanding Divine Purpose • Finding God’s Purpose for your Life & Family • Benefits & Keys to Fulfilling God’s Purpose
Focus on the Family Topics: The Purpose Driven Family Part 1 – Understanding Purpose Jeremiah 1:4-10 Jeremiah 29:11 Psalm 139:13-16
Texts keywords summary • Psalm 139:13-16: Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them • God has a written plan he wants you to execute (walk in) • There are things written concerning you & I