1 / 31

TAMAR SPEAKS

TAMAR SPEAKS. Presented by Stephanie L. Van Deusen www.svandeusenphd-stages.com. SAFETY. Grounding Find your baseline Where is your tension? Use your posture Be aware of your breath. ABUSE. "To dishonor," "to make mock of," "to insult ”. SEX. Judges 19. Devalued Dehumanized

faunus
Download Presentation

TAMAR SPEAKS

An Image/Link below is provided (as is) to download presentation Download Policy: Content on the Website is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use and may not be sold / licensed / shared on other websites without getting consent from its author. Content is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use only. Download presentation by click this link. While downloading, if for some reason you are not able to download a presentation, the publisher may have deleted the file from their server. During download, if you can't get a presentation, the file might be deleted by the publisher.

E N D

Presentation Transcript

  1. TAMAR SPEAKS Presented by Stephanie L. Van Deusen www.svandeusenphd-stages.com www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  2. SAFETY • Grounding • Find your baseline • Where is your tension? • Use your posture • Be aware of your breath www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  3. ABUSE "To dishonor," "to make mock of," "to insult” www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  4. SEX www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  5. Judges 19 Devalued Dehumanized Discarded Dismembered Sexual Abuse is an act of violence & dehumanization www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  6. The Abused Child (Heineman, 1998) • Child often feel like they have been treated as impersonal objects—used for the expression of another’s sexual or aggressive impulses • Each child is unique and will experience and internalize the abuse in a profoundly personal way • Child abuse involves perpetrator and victim(s), but really in the mind of the perpetrator, the child doesn’t exist www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  7. Prevalence • Adult retrospective studies show that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men were sexually abused before the age of 18 • This means there are more than 42 million adult survivors of child sexual abuse in the U.S. • The primary reason that the public is not sufficiently aware of child sexual abuse as a problem is: • 73% of child victims do not tell anyone about the abuse for at least a year. • 45% of victims do not tell anyone for at least 5 years. Some never disclose • (Smith et al., 2000; Broman-Fulks et al., 2007). www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  8. www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  9. Engagement/Grooming • It’s best to think of the grooming by sex offenders as a gradual, calculated process that ensnares children into a world in which they are ultimately a willing part of the sex abuse. • Stage 1: Target the victim • Stage 2: Gaining the victim’s trust • Stage 3: Filling a need • Stage 4: Isolating the child • Stage 5: Sexualizing the relationship • Stage 6: Maintaining control www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  10. It’s Layered • SEXUAL ENGAGEMENT • SECRECY • DISCLOSURE • Accidental/Purposeful • Instrumental support • Emotional support • SUPRESSION • Denial/minimization • Pressure to recant www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  11. The Story of Tamar www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  12. Naming the Impact • Tamar took ashes and put them on her head and tore the garment of fine wool that she wore. She did this publicly. The King’s daughter publicized her rape. • Why? www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  13. Visual Break…Breathe www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  14. The Three Self Capacities • Inner connection to others • Feeling worthy of life • Managing feelings • Recognizing feelings • Modulating feelings • Tolerating feelings • Integrating feelings Remember these www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  15. Key Principles of Attachment • Attachment relationships provide support for modulating stress response systems • Mental representations of attachment figures contain schemas that guide expectations for sensitive responsive caregiving under stress • Stress activates proximity seeking and the safe haven function of attention, while inhibiting the exploratory system • Among adults, providing is valued equally or even more than receiving care. www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  16. Attachment IWM (1) • It is relatively easy for me to become emotionally close to others. I am comfortable depending on others and having others depend on me. I don't worry about being alone or having others not accept me. www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  17. Attachment IWM (2) • I am comfortable without close emotional relationships. It is very important to me to feel independent and self-sufficient, and I prefer not to depend on others or have others depend on me. www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  18. Attachment IWM (3) • I want to be completely emotionally intimate with others, but I often find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I am uncomfortable being without close relationships, but I sometimes worry that others don't value me as much as I value them. www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  19. Attachment IWM (4) • I am somewhat uncomfortable getting close to others. I want emotionally close relationships, but I find it difficult to trust others completely, or to depend on them. I sometimes worry that I will be hurt if I allow myself to become too close to others.  www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  20. Avoidant Attachment Style (2)Positive view of self, negative view of others • Disembodied • Skills to manage affect and social engagement are underdeveloped • Fear of intimacy • Struggles with emotional connection • Struggles with disclosure of private thoughts and feelings • Struggles with nonsexual touch • Relationship rules: • Other people are not reliable, dependable, or trustworthy when it comes to my needs • I must rely on myself alone in order to meet my needs • Hard expressed grief • 3 shades of avoidance: • The narcissist or inflated false self • The exiled or disconnected self • The compulsive perfectionist www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  21. Avoidant Attachment and God • Move away from God during times of distress and cling to possessions, success, or other addictions • Expect that God can’t be trusted • Anger toward God…God did this to me www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  22. Anxious/Ambivalence Attachment Style (3) • Vulnerable towards hyperarousal • Tend to cling in relationships due to fear and anxiety but are not able to be soothed for the same reasons • Terrified and very sensitive to abandonment/rejection • Highly dependency • Clingy and protracted grief • 3 shades of dependency: • The anxious dependent: Feel vulnerable all the time • The melodramatic dependent • The angry dependent www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  23. Anxious Attachment and God • Vacillate from rage toward God to self-incrimination • Desperate for a substitute attachment figure BUT can’t use God as a source of comfort • Obsessed with finding someone www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  24. Disorganized (4) • Highly dissociative • Rapid shifts from hypoarousal and hyperarousal • Panic, self-harming behaviors, depression • Never developed a consistent strategy to connect in relationships • Disinhibited grief due to ruptured self-capacities www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  25. Disorganized attachment and God • God looks like their parents • Terror, shame, fear, anger • Desperate • Not worthy www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  26. A Metaphor for the Journey • A labyrinth is a right brain task. It involves intuition, creativity, and imagery. With a labyrinth there is only one choice to be made. The choice is to enter or not. A more passive, receptive mindset is needed. The choice is whether or not to walk a spiritual path. • At its most basic level the labyrinth is a metaphor for the journey to the center of your deepest self and back out into the world with a broadened understanding of who you are. www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  27. Walking Meditation www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  28. WALKING the Labryinth • Safety and Stability • S – Self Care & Symptom Control • A – Acknowledgment • F – Functioning • E – Expression • R – Relationships • Remembrance/Mourning • Reconnection www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  29. Remembrance/Mourning • Tracy Chapman’s Song: “Remember the Tin Man” www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  30. Shame: The Shack www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

  31. Healing from Shame:Intentional Touch • How stories in the bible illustrate this idea? • Have you ever experienced meaningful personal touch that broke through that temporarily broke through the shame? www.svandeusenphd-stages.com

More Related