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Heaven questionnaire By Nathan Click to begin YES NO Do you have spare money that you would be willing to give away YES NO Do you like to travel YES NO Would you be prepared to fight to get in to heaven Crusader

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heaven questionnaire

Heaven questionnaire

By Nathan

Click to begin

crusader
Crusader
  • Do you think your brave enough? Think you have what it takes to kill those putrid Muslims? Well then go to the holy lands and chase those Muslims out of Jerusalem and out of Jesus' realm. It’s dangerous work but god will be pleased if you tried and you will have 100% chance of going into heaven if you succeed.

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pilgrim
PILGRIM
  • Love to travel but hate to fight? Well this is the job for you. Go out with your friends and spread he word of God. You even get to go to many holy places like Lourdes in France. Think of it! Having fun, travelling and just some easy praying and you can get into heaven. SIMPLE. You will also see many holy relics and even the Turin Shroud: the cloth that Jesus was buried in!

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charity worker
CHARITY WORKER
  • Want to get into heaven without giving up ordinary life? Got a bit of money you don’t need? Don’t like to much work? Well here is a job tailored for you. All you have to do is some “Good Works” by helping the poor by washing their feet or giving them bread or even buy an indulgence from a pardoner and God will forgive all your sins. Just a small bit of “dosh” to the church when you die and heaven will be a coming your way!!!!!!!

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augustinian monk
AUGUSTINIAN MONK
  • Hate the toughness of life? Yet you don’t want to be ‘completely’ out of touch from the rest of the cruel world? Spend the day in a quiet prayer while still having a nice chat with travellers and giving people medical care for the local village. We even have modern toilets. Doesn’t that sound good.

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trappist monk
TRAPPIST MONK
  • Do you have ambition? Do you have no friends or don’t speak with your family? Well then, you will love this. You will take two vows one of poverty and one of silence. But you will make and drink the best bear in all the land. Who needs family?

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cistercian lay brother
CISTERCIAN LAY BROTHER
  • Are you good at hard physical work? Need a chance to shine? Come along to the monastery and work as a simple builder or plumber. Although you will take a few vows of poverty and silence its an easy job. Just think doing simple jobs gets you into heaven.

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flagellent
FLAGELLENT
  • Are you brave? Can you endure pain? Want a simple way into heaven? All you have to do is go around whipping yourself for your sins and there you go. Your not a chicken are you?

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franciscan frier
FRANCISCAN FRIER
  • Don’t mind a life with god? But still want to travel around and help normal people. All you have to do is spread the word of Jesus and take a vow of poverty then all your sins will be forgiven

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